Wedding Attire for Guest where "church clothes" will be the norm or: How I will dress up and make ev

[TheAmericanStig]

I'll keep this short. This is my first thread I've posted on SF, I've been a lurker and a semi-regular on the thrifting finds thread.

My girlfriend's cousin who I barely know is getting married on the most important day in Indiana's lackluster calendar of events- Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. For those who don't know, that's race day of the Indy 500. I've gone every year since I was a kid and don't want to miss it for the world, but I have to go.
Long story short, this shotgun wedding of sorts is to a very conservative family who watches Duck Dynasty (not House of Cards) and drinks Diet Coke (not G&T). I'm almost certain (as is the gf) that there will be no open bar and even more likely no booze anywhere in sight.
My initial thought was to wear a "Little Al" t-shirt under a jacket and bring a water bottle of Bacardi 151. Seriously though, I've scoured threads on here and on the Interwebz and everyone says to wear a suit to a wedding. I no longer have one that fits but as my thrifting ventures continue, I'm piecing together a wardrobe and becoming more refined in my clothing tastes. I just need to find something that says, "**** you" but won't upstage the groom (who will probably be in a rented tux during the day time)....
The biggest problem is that these country folk probably won't be in suits. I imagine their idea of dressing up for a wedding will be "church clothes" at best. (For those of you not from midwest small towns, that is anything you can buy at Kohl's and probably a plaid short-sleeve button down and heavily pleated Docker's with "brown shoes"). By the way, it is an outside wedding at a country house at the end of May in Indiana during the day (could be blistering hot or snowing).

Any help, including anecdotes or suggestions for making it more bearable would be welcome.

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

Why do you have to go? I can see having to go to the wedding of a wife's cousin, but a girlfriend's cousin? Getting out of events like this is one of the advantages of being unmarried.

If you can't convince your girlfriend to put one in the favor bank, I suggest taking the high road and wearing an outfit befitting the occasion. Suit preferred, navy blazer, dress shirt, and khakis if you don't have a suit.

 

[TheAmericanStig]

We've been together going on four years now. I've met this cousin once and probably couldn't pick him out of a police line-up but alas, I have to go... I tried getting out of it but the resistance was too high - she doesn't have much family so this is a must-go. If I go to the race, it's probably because I'm single.

I'm considering something lightweight and not too formal - like trousers and a sport coat with a dress shirt (no tie). Shoes are something I need to buy anyway, and this gives me a great excuse to find a good pair of Allen Edmonds. My suit buying experience is still bitter from my teenage years at Men's Warehouse for proms where I failed to close and funerals that seemed to keep occurring (buying a suit for your dad's funeral isn't a joyous occasion). My last suit was black with black Pronto Uomos, so needless to say I'm ready to get something lightweight and fun, with a bit of "**** you," and absolutely nothing from MW...

 

[Gus]

Unless you adjust your condescending attitude it really isn't going to matter what you wear to the wedding will it?

 

[Ianiceman]

Dressing well is its own reward. Either get into then spirit of the occasion and do your best or don't bother at all. There's nothing worse than seeing people like Tarantino or the Slumdog Millionaire fella (Boyle?) registering their protest at the Oscars by showing up looking like slobs. For me, a wedding is always a rare excuse to get fully suited up but it seems like your blazer and odd trousers with an open necked shirt might be formal enough and easier to assemble.
Register your protest, if you must, by being the best dressed guest.

 

[ter1413]

Agree with post 4 & 5.
Ok....you will miss the 500! So! Are you a crew pit member and can't miss it for the World? No you are not!

If you have been with your GF for 4 years, and this is important to her, you need to SUCK IT THE **** UP and go and have a good time. What you have described: slacks/blazer/shirt sounds fine.

Forget the 500 and don;t ***** about it every moment and go. Life is about making concessions. Missing a "sporting" event is not the end of the World.

I was the best man to a friend's wedding the Sat of 4th of July wknd/90+ degrees/no booze as her family was a church family/appr 2hr delay for the start of the reception as they lost the CD with the music that they wanted to play/etc. I was still in high spirits and had a good time. That's what you need to do.

(FYI......the lack of booze is no issue. Me and one of the other groomsmen had bottles of vodka and Bacardi prior and during the festivities. Simple.)

 

[facet]



Agree with post 4 & 5.
Ok....you will miss the 500! So! Are you a crew pit member and can't miss it for the World? No you are not!

If you have been with your GF for 4 years, and this is important to her, you need to SUCK IT THE **** UP and go and have a good time. What you have described: slacks/blazer/shirt sounds fine.

Forget the 500 and don;t ***** about it every moment and go. Life is about making concessions. Missing a "sporting" event is not the end of the World.

Agreed. At some point, you realize what things in life are really important and what things are entirely inconsequential.

 

[ter1413]



Agreed. At some point, you realize what things in life are really important and what things are entirely inconsequential.

 

[TheAmericanStig]

Agree with post 4 & 5.
Ok....you will miss the 500! So! Are you a crew pit member and can't miss it for the World? No you are not!

If you have been with your GF for 4 years, and this is important to her, you need to SUCK IT THE **** UP and go and have a good time. What you have described: slacks/blazer/shirt sounds fine.

Forget the 500 and don;t ***** about it every moment and go. Life is about making concessions. Missing a "sporting" event is not the end of the World.

I was the best man to a friend's wedding the Sat of 4th of July wknd/90+ degrees/no booze as her family was a church family/appr 2hr delay for the start of the reception as they lost the CD with the music that they wanted to play/etc. I was still in high spirits and had a good time. That's what you need to do.

(FYI......the lack of booze is no issue. Me and one of the other groomsmen had bottles of vodka and Bacardi prior and during the festivities. Simple.)

Phil Spector, I had to reply to you first... Clearly you guys haven't been to the 500 before. It's not simply a sporting event, it's a religious function. No one schedules anything on that day... There are Hoosiers that have been to every race "since 19xx" and treat this day with reverence. I've missed a few - it's not the end of the world. I was mostly ticked they would schedule it that day when it seems to be a shotgun wedding already (and so far doomed to fail).

All jokes aside, I'm going and actually looking forward to it in some ways. I'm fine with missing the race (but still bitching half-jokingly). My initial post was just a fun tirade and I am mostly looking for guidance in a sort of gray area of formal dress, where there is a high likelihood that everyone will be dressed in business casual clothing and that wearing a suit could be severely overdressing. (At least that's my fear).

And yes, I will be doing my best to drink beforehand.

 

[TheAmericanStig]

Dressing well is its own reward. Either get into then spirit of the occasion and do your best or don't bother at all. There's nothing worse than seeing people like Tarantino or the Slumdog Millionaire fella (Boyle?) registering their protest at the Oscars by showing up looking like slobs. For me, a wedding is always a rare excuse to get fully suited up but it seems like your blazer and odd trousers with an open necked shirt might be formal enough and easier to assemble.
Register your protest, if you must, by being the best dressed guest.

Thanks for this. I need to plaster the first sentence on my wall. I'm internally fighting my old habits of being a jeans/t-shirt kinda guy and will even admit that I used to purchase most of my clothes at places like Kohl's (as a teen/early 20s). The whole "dressing like a slob" bit was a joke that you may not get unless you've been to the race. By the way, anyone who hasn't - make the venture there next year (it'll be the 100th running).

 

[ter1413]



Phil Spector, I had to reply to you first...  Clearly you guys haven't been to the 500 before. It's not simply a sporting event, [I[COLOR=FF00AA]]it's a religious function. [/COLOR][/I]No one schedules anything on that day... There are Hoosiers that have been to every race "since 19xx" and treat this day with reverence. I've missed a few - it's not the end of the world. I was mostly ticked they would schedule it that day when it seems to be a shotgun wedding already (and so far doomed to fail). 

All jokes aside, I'm going and actually looking forward to it in some ways. I'm fine with missing the race (but still bitching half-jokingly). My initial post was just a fun tirade and I am mostly looking for guidance in a sort of gray area of formal dress, where there is a high likelihood that everyone will be dressed in business casual clothing and that wearing a suit could be severely overdressing. (At least that's my fear). 

And yes, I will be doing my best to drink beforehand. 

That's what people like you need to realize. NO it isn't!

But definitely "pregame" before. You are not in the wedding. Take a flask. Have a sip here and there. Enjoy the day.

What you suggested is fine: blazer/shirt/slacks/nice shoes. Go an enjoy.

 

[bdavro23]

Quote:
I have been to the Indy 500 8 or ten times I guess and I would agree with you that it is a religious function. If by religious function you mean, hot, loud, boring and seems to go on forever with zero entertainment value, that is. Relax, its not like you're missing an F1 race

 

[johng70]

I thought I'd chime in as a fellow midwesterner (Ohio). I am willing to bet large quantities of money that the vast majority of attendees will NOT be in a blazer. You'll have some in suits and the rest will be in dockers/shirt and maybe tie. If you own a blazer - great! If not, it isn't worth buying one. A blazer used to be a staple of your wardrobe - 20 years ago. It isn't now. Heck, even TIES have very little relevance for 90% of men out there except for weddings/funerals (the other 9% of the common folk still work in suits/ties with 1% living in a social stratosphere far above us)

In short, a sport coat or blazer is so far down the wardrobe "need" list I wouldn't worry about it.
It's certainly your call to make - it's your individual fashion. But, there are so few opportunities to wear one it's a waste of money for people that don't already have basic elements of their wardrobe.

 

[ballmouse]

Today is April Fools' Day.

 

[TheAmericanStig]



I thought I'd chime in as a fellow midwesterner (Ohio).  I am willing to bet large quantities of money that the vast majority of attendees will NOT be in a blazer.  You'll have some in suits and the rest will be in dockers/shirt and maybe tie.  If you own a blazer - great!  If not, it isn't worth buying one.  A blazer used to be a staple of your wardrobe - 20 years ago.  It isn't now.  Heck, even TIES have very little relevance for 90% of men out there except for weddings/funerals (the other 9% of the common folk still work in suits/ties with 1% living in a social stratosphere far above us)

In short, a sport coat or blazer is so far down the wardrobe "need" list I wouldn't worry about it.
It's certainly your call to make - it's your individual fashion.  But, there are so few opportunities to wear one it's a waste of money for people that don't already have basic elements of their wardrobe.

This is similar to what my friend who works a normal 9-5 told me. It just doesn't seem like jackets are the norm anymore. But I'm actually sort of looking forward to dressing up and finding a suit/shoes.