Ways to ditch your girlfriend

[GreyFlannelMan]

Easy solution: dump her! Isn't that what you were thinking of doing when you started this thread oh-so-many-months ago?

 

[VKK3450]

Never forgive betrayal, kick her to the curb...

The way I see it, she already broke your trust, a couple of times. What makes you think you can trust her again

K

 

[imageWIS]

Originally Posted by metkirk

I don't really want to bring this up again but ****, I found out she cheated on me again. ************* cheated on me TWICE guys, I dont know what to do now, I'm so confused and torn up

Time for the ***** slap. Seriously though, tell her to go **** her self, let the other guys ********** treat her better than you do. I know it hurts, but move on. In a months time you will have moved on and forgotten all about her.

Jon.

 

[metkirk]

Originally Posted by GreyFlannelMan

Easy solution: dump her! Isn't that what you were thinking of doing when you started this thread oh-so-many-months ago?

I broke up with her shortly after I posted this thread months ago. I even said somewhere on SF that I fully recovered, ******* shame on me, I have been living like a walking dead corpse ever since then. But this morning I'm even dead-er, she IMed me and told me she was sorry she cheated on me again. This is the biggest mistake of my life to put trust in her, I don't know why I did it, I just did. Maybe what they say is right, love is blind??? I managed to keep it cool by telling her that I don't care. It's so ****** I don't understand, I dont even know what life force's driving me to move my body and do stuff. My mind is so messed up for a few seconds I cannot remember what I just did. Dont even know if that makes sense but whatever.

 

[freakseam]

There's nothing noble or gracious in functioning as a doormat. Value yourself. Maybe she had a reason for cheating the first time. Maybe you can understand. But it's irrelevant. Doesn't make it 'right' in most healthy person's minds. Who does not understand simple respect in an intimate relationship? I presume she isn't clueless in this respect. Let's assume that you drove her away and that's the reason. Well, even if so, she made her choice on how to handle the situation. And that choice reflects a good deal about her and her values and her mindset. Let's say you did nothing to contribute to her choice. I'd say that makes her choice that much worse. Why ever tolerate that behavior?

 

[Mr. Checks]

Really, you're better off, for a least a couple of reasons:

1. Since you didn't sleep together you didn't catch anything from her.

2. If you had not dumped her, you would have gotten married, and then you'd be wondering why you get so many bidders for your lawn service, pool repair, "carpet cleaning," etc.

 

[VMan]

You can't turn a ho into a housewife. Get rid of her.

 

[metkirk]

Jsus, why am I typing all this. I demand respect in a relationship, yes I demand it a lot. I remember I've told her a zillion times to never lie about things like that again. But wtf...

 

[freakseam]

Originally Posted by metkirk

Jsus, why am I typing all this. I demand respect in a relationship, yes I demand it a lot. I remember I've told her a zillion times to never lie about things like that again. But wtf...


Might just be empty words, if you don't back it up with holding yourself to what you demand, ask for, ...
One should not have to demand -or whatever the word is- respect in a relationship. There is a type of respect that is earned. That is not the type involved in relationships.

 

[Joffrey]

Sleep with a hooker. Get Herpes. Call her and make up with her...

Ex-Girlfriend/Slutbag/Whoreface now has herpes from dirty hooker.

you get your vengence.

Seriously, you got to pick yourself up bud. she's only a teenage (am I right?) chick with no particular value. It'd be different if it was your trophy wife that slept with your pool boy (illegal immigrant no less) and is taking half of your hard earned fortune. There are plenty of other good looking, smart girls out there. Get involved in school (preferably a fraternity

) and have some fun and broaden your horizons.

In essence, get over it. She's a whore that deserves herpes from a hooker.

 

[Mr. Checks]

Originally Posted by metkirk

Jsus, why am I typing all this. I demand respect in a relationship, yes I demand it a lot. I remember I've told her a zillion times to never lie about things like that again. But wtf...

Is there any way in which you think that you are NOT better off now?

You got off easy.

 

[metkirk]

My mind's scattered. Part of me wants to make her feel guilty by doing what I don't really know, part of me wants to forget it, part of me wants to wish her happiness, part of me wants to do this, do that... Which one will take over?

 

[Valgar]

Originally Posted by metkirk

She cheated once, promised me she wouldn't cheat on me again.

And this is where you made your first mistake.

Cut off all contact with this girl, be a man, forget about this ****, pick yourself up, and move on.

 

[freakseam]

Originally Posted by metkirk

My mind's scattered. Part of me wants to make her feel guilty by doing what I don't really know, part of me wants to forget it, part of me wants to wish her happiness, part of me wants to do this, do that... Which one will take over?

FWIW, some ramblings:


The one you choose or allow to "take over."

Wanting to make her feel guilty is understandable. However, she may feel guilty now. After all, she apologized. So what will you add to that? Make her feel worse? Let's say the apology was spurred on because of her truly feeling guilt. What good does that do you? Maybe it confirms that she does feel bad and that, in turn, makes you feel better in some way. Maybe a validation of sorts in that she has concern for you and that you aren't to be taken for granted. So an apology may bring some measure of resolve.

But if one is unsure of the apologist's sincerity, it's pretty much useless. How many times does another have to cheat until a line is crossed? Does an apology rectify that breach of trust? What's being accepted or learned through this? Is the transgression rationalized as if she's going through some sort of a phase? I mean, what is her responsibility to her choices? Who is going to freely support cheating in their relationship? Isn't once enough? Keep doing it and it's kind of a codependent, dysfunctional thing. And if that's the case, what are you getting out of it?

As the state of your mind may indicate, there's a lot going on. Otherwise, it's very...flippant, isn't it (she cheats, asked to not lie, etc., she cheats again, etc.)? An act of apology doesn't necessarily suggest sincerity. It may just be her trying to 'do the right thing' and feel better about herself and not have anything really to do with any hurt she caused another. After all, few people intend to hurt another. Cheesy as it may sound, look at yourself. Is it a pride thing,...or whatever that has you thinking about this? There's nothing noble or gracious in functioning as a doormat. Value yourself.

She didn't know something was, by most standards, less than 'right' in what she was doing or how she went about it? I find that almost impossible to believe. She then realizes she did something she would rather not have -or would rather have done in some other progression of events- and apologizes. Why does she do this? Apologies mostly benefit the one issuing the apology. Sometimes the apology is just given to fulfill some expected behavior. Think of the gravity of the mistake. Think of the sincerity of the apology. That is for you to judge. Can you honestly now say "all good" and move on? I'm not saying she's the worst person alive, etc., but she's making choices that don't have you in the mix. She feels no obligation to you. But you're there for her, it seems. What are you getting out of this arrangement?

I doubt you'll forget it. I'd suggest it's beneficial to not forget it. Not to say keep remembering it, but unless you are fully capable of letting it go fully -and I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who has that ability- you will unavoidably remember it. But while in the short term it doesn't feel good, wishing her happiness, though I see no obligation to expressly state this, and moving on (I would cease contact) will probably pay off in the long term.

Unfortunately, you "lost" this time, though presumably you did nothing "wrong." Doesn't feel good. But you can't make a person feel guilty. You can try, but it's still their call. There's no value in retribution here that's more than fleeting and it is, in a way, bringing yourself down to her level...or worse. So, don't do anything stupid. She will bring the guilt feelings upon herself. Maybe or maybe not. Maybe now or maybe later down the road.

 

[lawyerdad]

Originally Posted by GreyFlannelMan

Easy solution: dump her! Isn't that what you were thinking of doing when you started this thread oh-so-many-months ago?
GFM speaks the truth. Move on - there's absolutely nothing constructive you can accomplish by doing anything else.