Ways to ditch your girlfriend

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by metkirk, Nov 17, 2006.

  1. ratboycom

    ratboycom Senior member

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    Step 1. Go buy a velvet blazer
    Step 2. Grow Pony Tail
    Step 3. Wear shirts
    Step 4. Tell her you are married to the sea
    Step 5. Let the gay rumors spread (she will leave you at this point, works especilally well since you are a virgin)
     


  2. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Senior member

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    I'm still a virgin [​IMG] so no sex let alone three some [​IMG]

    She's having a lot of exams at the moment and unfortunately my tolerance for her is extremely low at this time. That's why I really struggle because I don't know how to break it to her.


    I think you should hold out until her exams are over, then have sex with her. Even better, find someone else in the meantime. I think it would be rude for her to find out something bad while she's studying, so be discreet.
     


  3. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    I'm still a virgin [​IMG] so no sex let alone three some [​IMG]

    Show me a virgin and I'll show you a liar. Smoking the peace pipe and sneaking in through the backdoor certainly count in my book.. [​IMG] [​IMG]
     


  4. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Senior member

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    tiecollector, are you reliving some bus stop memories?
     


  5. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    tiecollector, are you reliving some bus stop memories?

    The sound of two black guys in Raiders jackets looking up saying "awe hell no!" repeatedly, is louder now than years ago.
     


  6. Britalian

    Britalian Senior member

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    send her a dead fish wrapped in paper.
     


  7. metkirk

    metkirk Senior member

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    send her a dead fish wrapped in paper.

    Doesn't that mean I'm sleeping with the fish ??? [​IMG]
     


  8. montecristo#4

    montecristo#4 Senior member

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    She's having a lot of exams at the moment and unfortunately my tolerance for her is extremely low at this time. That's why I really struggle because I don't know how to break it to her.

    If she's in the middle of exams let her finish them before you break the news.
     


  9. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Prof. Fabulous Dubiously Honored

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    I guess I'm the last person who should advise on this thread... but what the hell.

    When I was 18, I broke up with my high school girlfriend for my college boyfriend. It pretty much let her know the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

    Not that I recommend that for you... but hey... college is for trying new things.

    But, in all seriousness, I agree that you should let her finish exams and such before breaking the news. Also, I think it is better to break up in person than over the phone or, god forbid, email. But, barring that, keep in mind that you are young and the both of you will get over it. It's not the end of the world and it probably won't be for her, either. I know guys like to think that they are the sun around which their girlfriend's hearts and lives revolve, but if YOU are thinking that the relationship is going nowhere, perhaps SHE is feeling the same thing.

    So, it might go easier than you think.
     


  10. countdemoney

    countdemoney Senior member

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    Be a man. After 3 years you should break up in person if possible. Wait until after her exams. You obviously cared for her at some point, so show some of that respect when telling her that you're moving on with your life.
     


  11. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    One of my best friends here (now living in Texas) broke up with 5 girls he was dating at once via multiple recipient SMS. One of the funniest things Ive ever seen.
     


  12. Film Noir Buff

    Film Noir Buff Senior member

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    50 ways to leave your lover

    Words & music by paul simon

    The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
    The answer is easy if you take it logically
    Id like to help you in your struggle to be free
    There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

    She said its really not my habit to intrude
    Furthermore, I hope my meaning wont be lost or misconstrued
    But Ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
    There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
    Fifty ways to leave your lover

    Just slip out the back, jack
    Make a new plan, stan
    You dont need to be coy, roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, gus
    You dont need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, lee
    And get yourself free

    Just slip out the back, jack
    Make a new plan, stan
    You dont need to be coy, roy
    Just listen to me <-----------
    Hop on the bus, gus
    You dont need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, lee
    And get yourself free

    She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
    I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
    I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
    About the fifty ways

    She said why dont we both just sleep on it tonight
    And I believe in the morning youll begin to see the light
    And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
    There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
    Fifty ways to leave your lover

    Just slip out the back, jack
    Make a new plan, stan
    You dont need to be coy, roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, gus
    You dont need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, lee
    And get yourself free

    You just slip out the back, jack
    Make a new plan, stan
    You dont need to be coy, roy
    Just listen to me <------------
    Hop on the bus, gus
    You dont need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, lee
    And get yourself free
     


  13. Gradstudent78

    Gradstudent78 Senior member

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    I would say wait until after her exams, call her, and just do it. I find doing it in person with a long distance relationship is more difficult for the person your breaking up with. She'll get all excited your coming and then bam, you break up with her. It's also more costly for you. Not only do you have to buy a plane ticket, but then you have to worry about where your going to stay, getting back to the airport to leave, etc. So I would say do it over the phone. Be direct, don't beat around the bush. Call her up, tell her you don't want to be with her, a small explanation and then get off the phone. Make it clear this isn't up for discussion and that you've made your decision.

    Things not to do:
    break up over email, text message, or any other format besides phone or in person.
    drag it out: just makes it worse for you and her. Just end it and make it clear it is over, don't leave and glimmering hopes for the future.
    Dissappear: after three years thats a pretty childish thing to do and it could bite you in the ass in the future (what happens if you run into her with a new gf).

    Just be a man about it and make it quick. No need to draw it out and cause her excessive amounts of pain.
    Grad
     


  14. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    It sounds as if you're attached and she's indifferent. If that's the case, then I would pull the trigger by phone and expect it to be a short conversation. Do it after exams and be honest and forthright. If you want more from your lover and she's not giving it to you, then perhaps it's not meant to be.
     


  15. hopkins_student

    hopkins_student Senior member

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    I'm still a virgin [​IMG]

    I call inappropriate use of the slayer icon. This should call for something like a weeping, self-mutilating emo icon. j, is it possible to get something like that?
     


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