US waiters' worst conduct

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by kennethpollock, Apr 24, 2006.

  1. tangerine

    tangerine Senior member

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    What's wrong with "youse?"

    "youse guys" is more correct.
     


  2. tiger02

    tiger02 Militarist

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    Don't want to piss anyone off by referring to their womyn as 'guys' [​IMG]
     


  3. javyn

    javyn Senior member

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    youse womyn guyz plz dont get offended
     


  4. Fabienne

    Fabienne Senior member

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    I'm particularly fond of "You ones". But on that subject, let's go back in time and reintroduce the informal thou to alleviate at least some of the confusion related to pronouns. Of course, we won't go into why it disappeared from the English language in the first place.
     


  5. j

    j (stands for Jerk) Admin

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    I'm particularly fond of "You ones". But on that subject, let's go back in time and reintroduce the informal thou to alleviate at least some of the confusion related to pronouns. Of course, we won't go into why it disappeared from the English language in the first place.
    I have a theory (based on nothing) that the South retained a plural form of "you" because of the French influence on the area.
     


  6. Mr. Checks

    Mr. Checks Senior member

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    Going back to Mr. Pollock's observations there are a few pieces of information that need to be added. I will preface my comments by saying that this is not in reference to dining at the highest level but rather at the majority of mid scale, some independent, some chain restaurants. My opinion is that when you are paying over $100 for your meal your server should be the gastronomic equivalent of Jeeves from Jeeves and Wooster.

    Before one complains about the WAY in which a server attends you, not the quality of service, but the practices that are used (such as outlined by Mr. Pollock), one needs to realize that these are not up to the waiter's discretion, there are specific practices that need to be attended to as a waiter. I worked as a waiter for 2 years in a mid to upper scale chain. At least once each quarter of the year we as servers would be shopped, ie. the anonymous diner comes in and has a 3 page marking sheet with which they record every thing you do and say, over 60 different check marks. As servers if you forgot to ask if they wanted seasonal berries with their cheesecake, listed only 1 special at the beginning, forgot to use your name and specifically welcome them, etc. etc. and wound up with less than 80 points out of 100 you would find yourself fired.

    This is standard practice in the restaurant industry, especially for anything that is a chain. Does this lead to formulaic delivery of service and unnecessary hounding of specials and unnecessary talking by the waiter sometimes, yes. BUT, it's not the server's fault. When I was working I was always scared shitless that I was going to get one of the shoppers, fuck up on what is essentially some small insignificant detail and find myself out of a job. So I did all the pedantic things that were required of me. If you really have that much of an issue with items like this take it up with the restaurant, not the staff. I had no choice as to whether or not I would tell you my name, tell you the specials or ask how you wanted your steak done, or any of the other trivial matters that were required of us in the 80 page serving manual we had to memorize from cover to cover.

    If you were to complain about bad service, slow/cold/wrong food, rude waiters etc. I would fully endorse you in that and be right alongside with my own stories. However, this bitching about waiters for what is ENTIRELY OUT OF THEIR CONTROL is really rather prickish. I know that people's feelings towards dining out and the experiences they have can lead to strong feelings. Everyone has had horrible service at some point. Should you be able to complain about that? Absolutely, I see it as being a disservice to the server, the restaurant and your fellow diners not to complain because that means that that waiter is out there ruining other people's meals as well. But for all of you to nit pick about practices that the restaurant implements while failing to acknowledge the fact that these are out of the server's control makes you look really petty and arrogant and shows a real lack of understanding for what they have to go through. They don't want to be saying these things anymore than you want to hear them.

    I have had just about any kind of job you could possibly imagine including manual labour. Bar none serving was the hardest. I once wore a pedometer during a shift to see how far I had to walk. Over the course of four hours I walked over 10 kilometers (6.5 miles) while balancing 10-15 pounds on a tray, not to mention the lifting of racks of glasses and stacks of plates that can be 30-40 pounds, often doing this for 10 hours straight without a single 5 minute break because the restaurant industry is the one which is not required to give its employees breaks. Some people that that's just what their job entails, and it is. But I'll say it again, these people work their asses off and next time you want to bitch think twice before lambasting them for trying to keep their jobs.

    I want to apologize if I have offended anyone here, but this is always a topic that tends to irk me.



    Agree. Complain to the management. Complain about the management.

    Ken's first post seemed out of character (re: "who cares what your name is") and I was taken aback by its tone.

    I tire of these "blame the worker" threads.

    There are deeper issues here, but I'll pass.
     


  7. kennethpollock

    kennethpollock Senior member

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  8. kennethpollock

    kennethpollock Senior member

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    One problem is it is not always easy to tell when it is the management and when it is the purely the waiter. Sometimes it is the latter. I know this because twice in the last year I have gone to restaurants that I was very familar with and where no one there engaged in the practices that I abhor. However, on these two occasions, I got a new waiter who gave us the "full hick" treatment. It was obvious that these two guys brought with them their training from Red Lobster or Steak & Ale, etc., as the place that they were now working at did not require that behavior.
    When I go to a place like the Buckhead Life Group, where I know that I am going to get the "treatment," I either fax them the BOR or call ahead to tell them that I find first name introductions, etc., abominable, and ask if it is absolutely required. Unless I get a real air-head, they usually accomodate me. Pretty much all of the old-pro managers know what they are having their waiters do is dead wrong and are actually embarrassed about it.
    Maybe if more people complained, the word would filter up to top management and I could stop having to do this. [​IMG]
     


  9. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    lol

    English is a living language, constantly changing and evolving. Middle-American dialect is therefore no more incorrect or correct than Southern, NY/NJ, or even the mutitude of dialects spoken in the UK and around the world. If someone is going to get all worked up and offended because someone else uses the words "you all" or "yall", that someone needs to get a life. Besides, having a plural form of 'you' is a good thing imo, the language would obviously be lacking without it, as far as clarity goes.


    if you want to sound like a hick, be my guest, but i've never found it necessary to say "you all."

    i can get my point across by saying, "would anyone like a cocktail?" instead of "y'all want a cocktail?" or "all of you are getting on my nerves." instead of "y'all are getting on my nerves."

    if 'you all' is informal dialect, then that is all the more reason it should not be used by a waiter in a fine dining establishment.
     


  10. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    How odd. A few years ago, I asked one of my Italian friends about this custom. She's a woman in her fifties, a great cook, and travels all over Italy for work, resides half the year in Florence and the other half in Sicily, and she looked at me like I was mad.

    My two other Italian friends, from Rome and northern Italy, are younger (twenties and thirties) and even though they now reside here in the US, they are university professors and spend all their summers in Italy, and they've never seen anything like it.

    My experience doesn't count compared to theirs, but in my several trips, I've never seen this done.

    Curiouser and curiouser! Cried Fabienne.



    I have seen this in at least two resteraunts that I know in italy. but I honestly think that is cross contamination from the states. the resteraunts that I am thinking of are very yuppy places in rome, not in tourist areas, but the type of places that are frequented by people who have probrably traveled to the states. it is interesting how these things develop.

    by the way - dipping bread in olive oil is common in arab states, and israel.
     


  11. jay allen

    jay allen Well-Known Member

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    if you want to sound like a hick, be my guest, but i've never found it necessary to say "you all." i can get my point across by saying, "would anyone like a cocktail?" instead of "y'all want a cocktail?" or "all of you are getting on my nerves." instead of "y'all are getting on my nerves." if 'you all' is informal dialect, then that is all the more reason it should not be used by a waiter in a fine dining establishment.
    I'm always amazed at the insistance that there is only one "correct" way to speak the language. You want to see a different dialect all together.....come up here to rural Maine. You would undoubtedly charter a flight back to LA immediately. Just a thought....the last time I was in London I noticed that those fellas spoke a completely different English than I do. Now, unless I've got my history wrong, our English exists as a direct result of theirs. You seem to have no issues butchering the original version......yet have huge issues with regional dialects. Unless you sound like a dude from Monty Python, and are wearing a powdered wig......I suggest you stop shitting on us hicks that butcher the language.
     


  12. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    I'm always amazed at the insistance that there is only one "correct" way to speak the language. You want to see a different dialect all together.....come up here to rural Maine. You would undoubtedly charter a flight back to LA immediately.

    Just a thought....the last time I was in London I noticed that those fellas spoke a completely different English than I do. Now, unless I've got my history wrong, our English exists as a direct result of theirs. You seem to have no issues butchering the original version......yet have huge issues with regional dialects. Unless you sound like a dude from Monty Python, and are wearing a powdered wig......I suggest you stop shitting on us hicks that butcher the language.


    you misunderstand me. i have no problems with regional dialects, but they are just that, regional dialects. if you're from texas, go ahead and say 'you all' all you want. it won't bother me. it does bother me that 'you all' is creeping into mainstream english, and people believe it to be proper and correct.

    imagine if reporters started saying "ain't" on the network news.
     


  13. Jen

    Jen Senior member

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    if you want to sound like a hick, be my guest, but i've never found it necessary to say "you all."
    Right...You seem to think that it is fine to call southerners by nasty names. As if all who speak in a southern dialect are poor and uneducated? In fact, the quality of public education in Texas (I lived there for 5 years) far exceeds the quality of public education in California (I lived there for 7 years). I am so tired of all of the hateful bigotry toward the south (aka Bible belt) that spews out of people's mouths on the coasts. If anything close was said about a racial minority the PC police would cuff you and take you off to jail (if they were faster than the lynch mob). I have no intention of living in the south again, but I find the closed-mindedness of supposed intellectuals on this subject to be quite disappointing.
     


  14. tiger02

    tiger02 Militarist

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    It does cut both ways. For instance, from Andy's (decide for yourself if that's a self-selecting group)
    Those of us native to the South, generally, display better manners and more courtesy to our fellow beings than, say, people in New Jersey, or "Dirty Jersey," whatever that is.

    I am a pro at laughing off Jersey comments. Don't have much choice.
     


  15. Margaret

    Margaret Senior member

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    If anything close was said about a racial minority the PC police would cuff you and take you off to jail (if they were faster than the lynch mob).


    While we're at it y'alls guys, why is it these days that anyone who takes offense at a racial, ethnic, religious, or political slur is sneeringly dismissed as being part of the insufferable, overbearing "PC Police"? Is bigotry now supposed to be a mark of intellectual sophistication?
    [​IMG]
     


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