US waiters' worst conduct

[Kasper]

As someone who eats at a lot of Dennys and Waffle Houses (buffets too)around the country and cheese steak places when at home, I guess I really shouldn't comment on this thread. But one thing that does bother me is not in restaurants but at my local bank. They now have a manager greet you inside the door telling you his name and asking what he can help you with. Before this bank was bought out the people who worked in the front would say hello in a way that felt like it wasn't part of their job. That was much more sincere than what they are now taught to do but maybe it's just me.

 

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Bouji

I would not do it, where did I say I would? That is not to say that it is wrong. As far as tradition goes, there is nothing to say it is wrong either. This is somewhat a controversial point, like mobile phones in restaurants. In terms of tradition it is those who get irritated with those using mobiles who are behaving is an incorrect manner. I don't like people having loud conversations on the phone at tables, but if you think about it rationally there is nothing to say they cannot have a conversation on a mobile phone at a reasonable volume As far as protocol is concerned, there is nothing wrong with mobile phone conversations and taking food home, you may feel embarrassed asking to do so in Pierre Gaignaire, but that is because you are too conscious of yourself, and perhaps even uncomfortable with the type of service which you love so much, now isn't that irony. The reason I would not do it is because I rarely have food left over. However, if my financial situation was tight, which it is not, so again, another reason why I have never taken food from a restaurant home with me, and I was dining in such a restaurant because it is a special occasion, in terms of archaic etiquette, there is nothing wrong in having the left over food packed.
This is slightly tangential, but I am curious; regardless of your financial situation, doesn't wasting perfectly edible (and, indeed, excellent) food bother you? Not so much you specifically (as you said, this rarely happens to you), but the idea that it is somehow more "gentlemanly" or "proper" to waste food in brazen, classist indifference strikes me as both pervese and offensive. Not exactly a shocking departure from normal conduct for KP, but, well, there you go.

 

[j]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

This is slightly tangential, but I am curious; regardless of your financial situation, doesn't wasting perfectly edible (and, indeed, excellent) food bother you? Not so much you specifically (as you said, this rarely happens to you), but the idea that it is somehow more "gentlemanly" or "proper" to waste food in brazen, classist indifference strikes me as both pervese and offensive. Not exactly a shocking departure from normal conduct for KP, but, well, there you go.
Same here - some friends and I went to a Japanese place and the couple sitting near us stood up and left about 20 pieces of fresh (and very good, I soon found out) sushi there to be tossed in the trash. We were all disgusted at their wastefulness. Why order it in the first place, and don't you at least have a neighborhood cat or something?

Then they got in their 20MPG Subaru granolamobile and drove off...

 

[Bouji]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

This is slightly tangential, but I am curious; regardless of your financial situation, doesn't wasting perfectly edible (and, indeed, excellent) food bother you? Not so much you specifically (as you said, this rarely happens to you), but the idea that it is somehow more "gentlemanly" or "proper" to waste food in brazen, classist indifference strikes me as both pervese and offensive. Not exactly a shocking departure from normal conduct for KP, but, well, there you go.

As I said, and you know, it has never happened to me, but yes, I feel it would be worse to waste the food, and it would bother me to waste it. People are starving in the world.
My point also is that it is not "gentlemanly" or "proper" to do so, this idea that it is bad manners to take leftovers home, and I assure you, I've met my fair share of people who actually think it is not proper to take leftovers, turn out to simply be too uncomfortable with sitting in a fine dining establishment, and so don't have the confidence or feel embarrassed to ask for the leftovers.
As I am saying, KP wants to be a discerning epicurean, and he knows some of the complicated stuff, but he really does not know the basics.

 

[globetrotter]

even though it isn't that proper - I often take food leftovers and give them to homeless people. I picked that up when traveling if I would want to order more than I could eat, there was always somebody happy to get it.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Kasper

As someone who eats at a lot of Dennys and Waffle Houses (buffets too)around the country and cheese steak places when at home, I guess I really shouldn't comment on this thread. But one thing that does bother me is not in restaurants but at my local bank. They now have a manager greet you inside the door telling you his name and asking what he can help you with. Before this bank was bought out the people who worked in the front would say hello in a way that felt like it wasn't part of their job. That was much more sincere than what they are now taught to do but maybe it's just me.


I think that this started in japan, and I like it, myself

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by Bouji

That is ridiculous!

Well, it does have historical precedent. High-born Russians all spoke French as did high- born Rumanians, Egyptians, et al.

 

[Bouji]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

Well, it does have historical precedent. High-born Russians all spoke French as did high- born Rumanians, Egyptians, et al.
Yes, but doing so in the US today is hardly the same thing.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

Well, it does have historical precedent. High-born Russians all spoke French as did high- born Rumanians, Egyptians, et al.


we had this discussion a year ago - there were very good reasons why people from different places, in history, have used certain langauges, like french, as their court language. 2006 Atlanta is not such a situation.

 

[AlanC]

Originally Posted by Bouji

People are starving in the world...
True, but it rather smacks of the 'eat your peas, children are starving in Armenia' line from one's mother. In the US there is a much greater issue with obesity among those below the poverty line than there is starvation. There is little affect that my eating of those peas or not will have on anyone's starvation.

That said, we often take food home when our daughters don't eat it and give them another shot at it later. Of course, this is usually something like Schlotzky's pizza. They generally don't rate 'nice restaurant' yet. (Although they have eaten at restaurants with Ken Pollock. No French was spoken.)

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

we had this discussion a year ago - there were very good reasons why people from different places, in history, have used certain langauges, like french, as their court language. 2006 Atlanta is not such a situation.
Yes, but it does seem rather stylish in a sense. Of course, the South has always had certain European elements but mostly English. Sir Walter Scott was very popular there.

 

[Nantucket Red]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kasper
As someone who eats at a lot of Dennys and Waffle Houses (buffets too)around the country and cheese steak places when at home, I guess I really shouldn't comment on this thread. But one thing that does bother me is not in restaurants but at my local bank. They now have a manager greet you inside the door telling you his name and asking what he can help you with. Before this bank was bought out the people who worked in the front would say hello in a way that felt like it wasn't part of their job. That was much more sincere than what they are now taught to do but maybe it's just me.

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I think that this started in japan, and I like it, myself

This practice is a matter of custom in Japan, but the person greeting the customer is never a manager and is always dressed in a uniform of some sort to distinguish them as someone performing a comparatively menial service. Their job is classified as uketsuke, which basically means "reception," though its use is somewhat broader than the equivalent English. These people are very helpful and often streamline processes for you and help you save time.

Following custom and common practice, the uketsuke and waitstaff at restaurants will always speak using the politest forms of language in all circumstances. This would be equivalent in English to saying "would you care for [such and such]" instead of "do you want [such and such]," but the degree of complexity and sophistication has no English equivalent, and even the difference between "vous" and "tu" in French does not even begin to compare.

At any rate, in Japan you will never be addressed by anyone provding service in a mode of language that might suggest familiarity. You are under no obligation to reciprocate the polite language, but I almost always do.

 

[Violinist]

Mr. Pollock, myself and another member of styleforum hereby invite you to come to dinner in Montreal at one of the many fine restaurants here. In fact, bring your friends. We'd just LOVE to hear your French.

 

[Aus_MD]

Originally Posted by Violinist

Mr. Pollock, myself and another member of styleforum hereby invite you to come to dinner in Montreal at one of the many fine restaurants here. In fact, bring your friends. We'd just LOVE to hear your French.


When you make comments like this you should ensure that your english is perfect.

Aus

 

[Arethusa]

He's not the one boasting about speaking French in Atlanta to prove how refined ********* is.