Unattractiveness and the discussion of style

[tiger02]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

I can in your case, I love the long black hair, the milky white skin, the almond-shaped eyes and the tastefully applied lipstick on your gorgeous lips...oh wait that's not you nevermind....

Damn, and you were making me feel all good about myself there for a minute...

 

[Get Smart]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

I can in your case, I love the long black hair, the milky white skin, the almond-shaped eyes and the tastefully applied lipstick on your gorgeous lips...oh wait that's not you nevermind....

LOL pwned!!

 

[GMF]

Even though I'm a newbie, I'll throw in my two cents.

I recently passed the Bar in my state (hence my resurrected interest in dressing well that goes beyond having one "nice suit" in the closet, and which led to the discovery of this forum). Prior to being sworn in, all new Bar members are required to attend a series of seminars/lectures that are conducted by the top attorneys in this state. Over the course of three days one thing that struck me about all of these men (and there were a few women as well) was that while none of them were GQ/Esquire model material, they all knew how to dress well. They exuded a sense of style that was not fashion conscious, foppish, or dated. In particular, the man who is considered the finest criminal defense attorney in this state is definitely not high on anyone's "attractive" meter, but he more than compensated for it by his impecabbly tailored suit, shirt, and tie. And for those of us who aren't model material, that's the key, IMO.

Here's a pic of me signing the Roll of Attorneys after being sworn in at the Supreme Court. Suit is Ralph Lauren navy pin stripe in Super 100s. Tie by Bill Blass.

 

[VMan]

Originally Posted by dare-

Lets all post our photos.

Like a StyleForum Hot-or-Not!

 

[Get Smart]

Originally Posted by VersaceMan

Like a StyleForum Hot-or-Not!

yea as long as it doesnt turn into a bunch of guys emulating ratemycameltoe.com

 

[odoreater]

Originally Posted by Get Smart

yea as long as it doesnt turn into a bunch of guys emulating ratemycameltoe.com

That ties in nicely to the recent "Critique My Outfit" thread with the guy spreading his legs.

 

[JeffC]

How many in attendance used the cheap Bic Sticks?

 

[GMF]

Originally Posted by JeffC

How many in attendance used the cheap Bic Sticks?

I didn't notice. I consider having a good pen part of being well dressed. The day before the swearing in my Waterman ran out of ink so my trusty all stainless Parker was called into service.

The interesting thing about the Roll of Attorneys is that it goes all the way back to 1809, an unbroken chain that every lawyer admitted to the Bar in this state has signed upon being sworn in.

 

[Nantucket Red]

Originally Posted by GMF

I consider having a good pen part of being well dressed.

Meet a fool who has spent untold thousands upholding this golden precept.

 

[thealbatross]

Originally Posted by tiger02

Seriously though, why would anyone need to judge thier own attractiveness? I'm short so I'd like to be taller, stocky so I need to take that into consideration when I dress. But as far as facial features go, they can't be affected, so who cares?

I am not making assumptions that most people look in the mirror everyday deliberating over their own attractiveness, but surely over the course of your life you have come to a conclusion, perhaps unconsciously over this issue; unless you lack any thread of self-awareness. On a forum where nearly every nuance of dress is discussed I would find it hard to believe that the majority of members haven't spent a disproportionate amount of time thinking about their facial features at one time or another in their life, considering the amount of discussion here on such particulars as Goodyear welting, and pocket square folds; it would only seem natural that such analysis has been applied to more personal issues.

 

[tiger02]

When I was a kid I was pretty worried about acne, but not disproportionate to other kids. For a couple of months I plucked eyebrows, but that was kind of silly. So mostly I just figure I'm average and get on with my life. Like I said, you can do something about clothes, not facial features. Any vain time I spend in front of the mirror is either 1. checking out my latest shave 2. studying the effects of a new moisturizer or 3. deciding if it's worth going to the gym or not.

Tom

 

[marc237]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

Marc, while I have not been in attendance to any of the forum events, would you say that the people posting their photos for the most part represent those who attend these events? Do you in fact consider yourself attractive? I would be interested in meeting other forum members; perhaps they would have a better opinion of my facial appearance than I do, but I consider myself a realist--maybe this is part of my problem; as acute self-awareness doesn't help one's self-esteem.

Interesting questions.

First, I do not think the posting in the photos are representative of the events. There are certainly people who I have met only by photo, but not in person and vice-versa. However, I think there is a problem comparing between an array of digitial static photos and in person experiences. IMHO, attractiveness is often enhanced, or sometimes not, by the totality of the in-person experience.

Second, as to my self-perception, while I would like to think I am attractive, I realistically do not. I also know that I am not but ugly and, for my age, in very good physical shape, with a full head of hair, albeit, graying. All this, I am told, allows me to appear younger in person. Yet, ultimately, so what.

Third, were I in your shoes, I would be far less concerned with having others judge physical appearance and would more concerned with judgments as to the appearance one's choice of words and approach to communication creates. Confidence, tact, and good humor can make even those who are not physically fortunate desirable to be with, while abrasive personalities can make physically attractive individuals very lonely indeed.

Finally, the Sartorial Excellence event is a wonderful way to meet and enjoy the company of like minded persons. There willl be plenty of postings announcing the next one.

 

[Fabienne]

Originally Posted by mensimageconsultant

Hi,

There are multiple points to address.

1) Humprey Bogard's facial attractiveness was not bad at the start of his career.

2) Surveys and other evidence suggest that physical attractiveness is more sought after than it used to be.

3) Researchers have found that a man's perceived physical attractiveness is affected by the female companionship he keeps.

4) Many, many studies have found that better-looking candidates are more likely to receive job offers.

5) Judging by findings about online dating and speed dating, which more and more people use these days, male physical attractiveness probably matters more in dating success than in professional success.

6) "Through this study it was found that women and men share the same views on whether the male photos they were exposed to were attractive, neutral or unattractive. Some differences between the sexes surfaced on the extremity of their views of attractive versus unattractive males but were not significant. The men saw both the attractive and unattractive male photos as less attractive than their female counterparts. The significant difference, on the other hand, was between the sexes concerning their views on the neutral male photo. It was found that males viewed the neutral male more positively than the females did."

7) Men overestimate the amount of muscularity that women find attractive in men.

Interesting, thank you for posting. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that being extremely attractive would actually prove to make life harder for a person in the business world. Thoughts?

 

[marc237]

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

Congrats (and nice suit.)

Ditto. Welcome to the profession. In NYC, some of the top criminal defense counsel dress very quirky indeed.

 

[Margaret]

Originally Posted by Fabienne

Interesting, thank you for posting. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that being extremely attractive would actually prove to make life harder for a person in the business world. Thoughts?

I would say that particular types of physical attractiveness (pretty boy vs. ruggedly handsome) can be a minor initial hurdle, because many of us (if not most of us) do form strong initial judgements about individuals based on their physical appearance and demeanor. These assumptions, however, can be easily modified once the individual has the opportunity to express himself and provide substantive evidence of his (or her) actual ability and character.