Turning points, the bar exam, etc.

[CTGuy]

Right now I am studying for the bar exam and simulateously reading a few pages of several of the Dhali Lama's books each day. I find myself at a confusing confluence of emotions about my life and outlook. The bar exam really represents for me the end of my biggest post-college goal. Being poor, being busy, looking at life through a certain lense, I feel like much of that is probably at an end because the conditions that created the constraints on my life are essentially at an end.

On the one hand I am somewhat nervous about what my career will be like, will I have enough money to live a lifestyle that will make me feel satisfied and successful? Will I be good at what I do?

More importantly, I feel like I see clearly how a lot of negative feelings about college and my father's death while in college are more and more things that, while never completely "dealt with", haunt me far less.

At this point you likely are wondering why I make this post to you- my anonymous internet colleagues. I guess for the first time in a while I realize how young I actually am (26) and the opportunities this may hold for me becoming the kind of man I've always wanted to be. Ambitious, yes, but at peace with life and the world around him. Do any of you remember turning points like this? Where you felt like for the first time you were turning a point as an "adult" and the experiences that followed would allow you to shape your personalty as opposed to being shaped by your surroundings?

 

[skalogre]

Turning points.... we are almost the same age (I am a few years older). Relax

. Today's average life expectancy means you probably have another 40-50 years to work everything out. To see where I am coming from, I left home at 17.5 or so, did my tour of duty as a conscript (about two years) then immediately afterwards (literally) ended up in the US at the University here. I graduated, married almost immediately afterwards then a few months later got a job I absolutely hated because of the sinking of the tech industry. I will be leaving teh country at some point, returning to somewhere in Old Europe. WIll that be a turning point too? Maybe. WHich of those is a turning point? All. None. Well, not sure really. My point is that while there are many decisions that affect you profoundly, keep in mind that often it is many small decisions that mould your future rather than just bigger events alone. All the things I mentioned did change me. Leaving home at the age I did was expected; it is literally a rite of passage. For the first time I had to take responsibility for my actions as an adult. Ok, so that was more a collection of scatterred thoughts than a coherent point. I will think about it a little more

 

[CTGuy]

Not scattered thoughts at all- I appreciate you sharing your experiences. I definitely find it very helpful.

 

[DNW]

A wise friend once told me: Don't get stuck in a rut. Whenever I feel dispassionate about what I was doing at the time, I reevaluate my standing and my path. Most recently, I thought about what kind of a lawyer I want to be after I graduate (2 more years). After some soul searching, I now feel confident about my career and life path. I think the important part of the soul searching is to be brutally honest with oneself in evaluating one's capabilities. While it might damage one's confidence at first, it will definitely help in the long run. Once you've figured out the general direction that you want to go, make small, but concrete steps toward that direction. And don't be afraid of failures. You haven't really lived until you have some scars to show for it.

$0.02 coming from a 26 y/o. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[skalogre]

I read your post over again... there were many conflicting thoughts that I have come to if not understand, at least accept. I came to accept the fact that no matter where I am I will be different (that is the way anyone bicultural & bilingual grows up). I cannot pass for a 100% Brit, nor a bonafide 100% Cypriot. There are always some little points that give it away. You know what though? That is fine. I don't remember exactly when but several years ago, I suddenly realised that I was getting comfortable with who I was. COmfortable with asserting finally the fact that I was Orthodox in culture but not in religion. Greek in spirit and ancestry but a European hodgepodge in some views and ways I act. Thing will settle down with time, I came to find. I have also come to accept the fact that I can be a rambly old bastard

As I have been reading up more on Zen the last few years due to my increased martial arts involvement, I have come to appreciate more the basic Zen dictum; you cannot be taught how to achieve your peace and balance. It comes to you and you create it. Keep that in mind. DarkNWorn's advice is also sage, I believe. Plus he has good taste in scantily-clad French pop-music artistes so the man must be on to something

Btw, congratulations & good luck with the exam. I am starting to feel cornered on this site, another bloody lawyer

Where are the geeks I tell ya, wheeere?!?

 

[DNW]

Originally Posted by skalogre

Plus he has good taste in scantily-clad French pop-music artistes so the man must be on to something

That's my specialty.

 

[RJman]

Lawyers are geeks who read too much when they were young and who are greedy but risk-averse.

 

[JBZ]

Originally Posted by RJman

Lawyers ... are greedy but risk-averse.

It pains me to admit it, but, while extreme, there's a grain of truth in this statement.

 

[Mr. Pink]

Don't worry so much. You still have many years left to screw up your life--and to fix it again. Remember, life is what happens while you're planning for your future.

 

[globetrotter]

CT - similar to Skalogre, I had a few forks in my trail that I made some choices that formed my life. when I was in my mid teens, my fmaily broke up, and I had to chose to join one or another of my family members, or try to make it on my own... a couple of years later, I was faced with the option of going back to the states to school, or joining the military, and I was faced with deciding to keep a low profile, or go into a "good" unit..... several years later, I chose to leave the "security" field and go into sales, basically turning my back on something that I had wanted to do for years, but then decided that wouldn't allow me to live the life that I wanted..... several years after that, I was faced with the choice of leaving my friends and the place I was comfortable with, in order to take a chance at eventually being in a position to provide better for my family. Although every now and again I have had some doubts about my choices, I haven't seriously felt any regrets for my choices. even the years that I spent involved in security I don't regret, although I didn't stay on that career path, I still learned a lot and had fun and got some very interesting expereinces.


you are faced with a lot of interesting options. I am sure that they will provide you with an intersting life. and, if you have to adjust your plans ever 5-10 years, it isn't the end of the world.

 

[Kent Wang]

Originally Posted by RJman

Lawyers are geeks who read too much when they were young and who are greedy but risk-averse.
Isn't 'risk-averse' just a euphemism for '*****'?

 

[bachbeet]

reuben: Here's the Lennon quote:

Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans

 

[JBZ]

Originally Posted by Kent Wang

Isn't 'risk-averse' just a euphemism for '*****'?

We prefer the term "cautious."

 

[skalogre]

Originally Posted by JBZ

We prefer the term "cautious."
JBZ, you have not experienced risk-averse until you have talked to an engineer

 

[nerdykarim]

Originally Posted by skalogre

JBZ, you have not experienced risk-averse until you have talked to an engineer

or an actuary