Right now I am studying for the bar exam and simulateously reading a few pages of several of the Dhali Lama's books each day. I find myself at a confusing confluence of emotions about my life and outlook. The bar exam really represents for me the end of my biggest post-college goal. Being poor, being busy, looking at life through a certain lense, I feel like much of that is probably at an end because the conditions that created the constraints on my life are essentially at an end. On the one hand I am somewhat nervous about what my career will be like, will I have enough money to live a lifestyle that will make me feel satisfied and successful? Will I be good at what I do? More importantly, I feel like I see clearly how a lot of negative feelings about college and my father's death while in college are more and more things that, while never completely "dealt with", haunt me far less. At this point you likely are wondering why I make this post to you- my anonymous internet colleagues. I guess for the first time in a while I realize how young I actually am (26) and the opportunities this may hold for me becoming the kind of man I've always wanted to be. Ambitious, yes, but at peace with life and the world around him. Do any of you remember turning points like this? Where you felt like for the first time you were turning a point as an "adult" and the experiences that followed would allow you to shape your personalty as opposed to being shaped by your surroundings?