"Trying Too Hard";can someone explain?

[RuderalisIndyCar]

This is an idea expressed elsewhere,but most recently encountered in the WAYWN thread referring to a dapper gent, one K-Town Greg.
How is it then that one poster can get labelled this way yet others with similatr if not more "extravagant" styles can't get enough praise?It's probably highly subjective, but could someone please shed some relatively "objective" light on how this concept works?

 

[Holdfast]

*shrug*

Speaking in generalities rather than about specific posts, I suspect it's about consistency between character and clothes. When there's a dissonance between the two, people use terms like "trying too hard" to convey the dissonance.

What you wear isn't just about the clothes, it's about how you wear them and the attitude you project. Online boards are probably one of the worse ways to judge someone's attitude in relation to their clothes (an essential aspect of style), but it's all we've got, and humans are very good at playing heuristic games to fill up gaps in knowledge, and create an opinion!

 

[ysc]

For me trying too hard means someone is not comfortable in what they are wearing for whatever reason. This can be because you are wearing clothes that on some level make you insecure, or because you spent so long dressing that you are constantly worrying all day in case part of your "look" gets knocked out of place.
I don't think this can necessarily be judged from a picture, but if everything they are wearing is just a little too "just so" then maybe.

There was a discussion recently where a couple of guys were arguing that wearing a tie to a bar was "trying to hard". If you want to wear a tie in a situation that does not call for it because you just like to wear ties then *******, if you want to wear that tie to impress people and it does not "come naturally" to you in that same situation then yeah, you may be trying to hard.

 

[Kempt]

I think Holdfast provided a pretty accurate picture of why the poster said what they did regarding K-Town (weather you agree or not is another matter).

The tie post was interesting as I think it fits in a different category. If generally speaking you and your friends don't have a need to wear suits/ties to work and don't regularly do so out of a desire I think it DOES appear out of the ordinary to just start showing up wearing ties/suits etc. I think that's point that thread was making.

I remember when I started working at a job that required a certain level of dress, meeting friends after work for drinks the first couple times there was the usual query "Just get off from work?" because I generally didn't casually wear ties and neither did any of my regular circle of friends. After a period of time they have become accustomed to seeing me in a tie so that when I choose to wear one in a more casual setting, it's not called out as much.

However, if you just randomly start showing up to meetings with your friends dressed to the nines (relative to how you usually dress, ie jeans a t-shirt to slacks/shirt+tie etc) you can guarantee you are going to get some comments and some "wtf??" looks for a while. Especially if there isn't a reason like you were "forced" to dressed this way for work.

There's an ingrained mindset of constantly "dressing down" that's JUST starting to be reversed. There's nothing wrong with wanting to change your look, but I don't think that always evokes the "trying to hard" response as they are two different beasts.

 

[StopPolloition]

One day in college I switched to wearing to mostly dress clothes. I was trying too hard. Years later I try to wear it where it's more appropriate, and five years of trying too hard made it a little bit easier to wear the clothes comfortably. Now I just wear whatever I feel like.

 

[ccc123]

Originally Posted by Holdfast

*shrug*

Speaking in generalities rather than about specific posts, I suspect it's about consistency between character and clothes. When there's a dissonance between the two, people use terms like "trying too hard" to convey the dissonance.

What you wear isn't just about the clothes, it's about how you wear them and the attitude you project. Online boards are probably one of the worse ways to judge someone's attitude in relation to their clothes (an essential aspect of style), but it's all we've got, and humans are very good at playing heuristic games to fill up gaps in knowledge, and create an opinion!

+1 a frozen picture of someone is only half the story the rest comes from seeing the show live - Holdfast has presented an important factor in making a arbitrary and seemingly absolute decisions with no regard to how one lives in the clothes he wears. when you get the whole picture in the live version the guy might still be not able to pull it all off and may in fact be trying to hard, but allot of that has to do with how comfortable he is in his own clothes and his own skin.

 

[gnatty8]

This is a men's clothing message board. One could argue every registered member here is trying too hard..

 

[apropos]

People who label others as 'trying too hard' are IMO often reflecting the prejudices/insecurities they, and/or their social circle(s), hold - i.e. their own "I shouldn't, because I can't"s.

 

[JayJay]

Originally Posted by youngscientist

For me trying too hard means someone is not comfortable in what they are wearing for whatever reason. This can be because you are wearing clothes that on some level make you insecure, or because you spent so long dressing that you are constantly worrying all day in case part of your "look" gets knocked out of place.
I don't think this can necessarily be judged from a picture, but if everything they are wearing is just a little too "just so" then maybe.

There was a discussion recently where a couple of guys were arguing that wearing a tie to a bar was "trying to hard". If you want to wear a tie in a situation that does not call for it because you just like to wear ties then *******, if you want to wear that tie to impress people and it does not "come naturally" to you in that same situation then yeah, you may be trying to hard.
+100

 

[Shoe City Thinker]

If the outcome of your wardrobe gives you the appearance that you're wearing a costume, you're "trying too hard". If I wore Ambercrombie and Fitch, it would appear that I'm trying to hard to look young given that I'm in my mid-30's. However since I have a hip, fashion-forward flair to my streetware style, I can wear trendy items in limited amounts to give my wardrobe an "edge". If I over-do the hipster elements, it looks like I'm trying too hard.

My tailored look is more conservative but I make sure it reflects my tastes, my love of texture and color. I like JAB but most of the stuff is too corporate for my tastes. If I shopped there exclusively, it would come across as if I'm trying to hard to be a yuppie power player. I shop there for wardrobe basics then hit the off-price stores to find samples and one-off items that put my individual stamp on my wardrobe.

Your personality and soul should be projected in your style and wardrobe. Otherwise it's obvious that either:

a) You're in costume (because you're trying too hard to be somebody you're not)
b) In uniform (because you want to hide in a cloak of conventionality or lack the knowledge on how to dress with a sense of style)

 

[JetBlast]

I think it's an issue of you are wearing the clothes, the clothes should not be wearing you.

 

[SkinnyGoomba]

Originally Posted by apropos

People who label others as 'trying too hard' are IMO often reflecting the prejudices/insecurities they, and/or their social circle(s), hold - i.e. their own "I shouldn't, because I can't"s.

agreed, i think that was the sum of my point in the tie thread, i didnt think much of it when i wore a tie to the bar, the other poster (ascot?) seemed to be very concerned about how he appealed to everyone in the room.

I just feel that you cant make everyone happy, regardless, if you dress the 9's some guy will knock you for it, if you dress like hell, someone will ask why you dressed down. So just dress for yourself and do your best to keep it reasonably appropriate to the situation.

 

[itsstillmatt]

If you call attention to yourself you are either trying too hard, or you just suck.

 

[antirabbit]

I sought to be employed in a field where I would be able to wear attire that I enjoy, which happen to be suits and sport coats (depending on the kind of meetings I am in).
What I found once there was an expectation to wear what I enjoy as a "uniform), is there was no trying. A pattern developed, certain kinds of shirts, certain kinds of ties, and certain shoes worked, others drew too much attention to my outfit. The purpose of the more formal dressing is to convey a seriousness and respect for the client, now show off how I can wear a certain style.
I have streamlined the wardrobe to reflect this. Its also why I do not post in WAYWRN thread, I have nothing to really contribute. I could fluff it up, but why?
I still love to put on suits (albeit nearly daily), and I enjoy the process of piecing it all together, but the purpose is to fit the role, not show off. Showing off=trying to hard.
Time and experience develops confidence, which eliminates "trying too hard".

 

[bmulford]

Originally Posted by Holdfast

*shrug*

Speaking in generalities rather than about specific posts, I suspect it's about consistency between character and clothes. When there's a dissonance between the two, people use terms like "trying too hard" to convey the dissonance.

What you wear isn't just about the clothes, it's about how you wear them and the attitude you project. Online boards are probably one of the worse ways to judge someone's attitude in relation to their clothes (an essential aspect of style), but it's all we've got, and humans are very good at playing heuristic games to fill up gaps in knowledge, and create an opinion!

some next level thinking right there.