today's Men's Flair: women's comments on men's clothing vs attractiveness

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by NorCal_1, Jul 29, 2009.

  1. NorCal_1

    NorCal_1 Senior member

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    Men's Flair

    A Question Of Attraction

    The way in which we dress invariably has an impact on the way we are perceived by members of the attracting sex. From my perspective, a woman I perceive to be well-dressed would naturally attract more attention, even though she may not be the most attractive woman in the room; being ‘well-dressed’ is unusual. It is a sign of self-assuredness and quality of mind. However, I often wonder how important it is for my contemporaries to exaggerate or understate their own personal style in order to retain the attraction of those they wish to attract.

    If I were to ask certain friends of mine whether this was a serious consideration when shopping for clothes, there would be a mixture of responses. One response would ridicule the idea of shopping to please another person. This scoff would be further qualified with suggestions that men should identify first and foremost with themselves – if the women aren’t interested, are shocked or put off, so be it.

    Another response would carry a certain caution; that some of my friends are not willing to appear ridiculous, though they would dearly love to express themselves in the clothing they dream of. There is in these respondents an itching desire to be free from the convention of the day but it is a tiny flame, easily doused by the waves of insecurity. They also confess to a strange comfort in anonymity.

    Then there are those who would respond, quite honestly, that they often plead with girls, generally ones they are not attracted to, to go shopping with them in order that they do not select items which would compromise the image they wish to project. They are not always shy in nature. They are simply cautious. They tend to enjoy being single, have a varied social circle and, most importantly, consider sexual attraction the most important pastime in their lives.

    Some of them have no interest in clothing at all. The majority however have come to recognise the importance of ‘standing out’ when playing the field. However, there are many things they just will not do. One of my friends asked me why I wear bow ties. I informed him it was because I liked wearing them. He responded that he could never wear one unless it was part of his evening wear. Vaguely intrigued by his commonplace response I asked him why: “Because” he said “I’d look like a tit!”

    Looking as ‘different’ as that is generally considered by men to be a non-starter in the attraction department, especially for heterosexual men. Indeed, even women can be rather scornful and abusive about men who they accuse of ‘trying too hard.’ Though they may quietly applaud the bravery of a man of idiosyncratic style, they generally have an asexual response to extraordinarily well-dressed men.

    When I proffered photographic examples to some women (three in their twenties, two in their forties) recently for their opinions on the approachability and attractiveness of the gentlemen concerned, the immaculately and idiosyncratically dressed men – aside from Johnny Depp - received very low responses for reasons of ‘stiffness’ and ‘utter absence of sexual appeal.’ The moderately well-dressed gentlemen – jacket, trousers/jeans, no tie, no pocket square or other accessories – received the highest response. The reasons given were ‘ease of dress’, ‘avoidance of fuss’ and consequently, ‘strong sexual connection.’ The badly dressed men didn’t score as well on the whole but they often scored far higher than the immaculately dressed men, even amongst the older women, for reasons of ‘brazen sexuality’ and ‘gruff masculinity.’
    When I suggested to these female respondents that it was preposterous of women to moan about badly dressed men when they themselves credited them far higher than those who practice clothing perfection, they agreed: it is preposterous, they said, and it makes absolutely no sense that somehow their sexual mind should prefer scruff over splendour. However, they suggested it has far more to do with current perceptions of fashion and style – not to mention the fact that they are but a tiny sample “I bet loads of girls” one of them said “would think a guy in a bow tie was hot as hell…” – and that there are likely to be perfect partners for every category of gentlemen presented. Lastly, I asked them to state, in their experience, taking into account all the possible views of their sex what they considered the ‘safest’ route to take to secure attractions. Without hesitation, they all selected the moderately well-dressed gentlemen.

    The irony of all this is that gentlemen who fall into the category of the ‘immaculate’ might very well tone down their more eccentric ensembles when consorting with single women – and, when fully ensconced in a warm and loving relationship, take the first opportunity to express who they really are; “Honey! I’m breaking out the bow tie…”

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Film Noir Buff

    Film Noir Buff Senior member

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    I think most people respond well to neat, clean and well groomed people but I could see women "wondering" about overly dressed men, if only because they don't like to be upstaged. Wearing a jacket or suit is like wearing a uniform which appeals to women and sometimes the regulations come from the status quo which is why looking like everyone else can sometimes serve a purpose; sexual or otherwise.
     
  3. NorCal_1

    NorCal_1 Senior member

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    I think most people respond well to neat, clean and well groomed people but I could see women "wondering" about overly dressed men, if only because they don't like to be upstaged. Wearing a jacket or suit is like wearing a uniform which appeals to women and sometimes the regulations come from the status quo which is why looking like everyone else can sometimes serve a purpose; sexual or otherwise.



    Borrelli published a look book back in 2007 that had great examples of matching classic with sporty that is pretty close to the epitome of spezzatura: looks great but doesn't look like you are trying too hard to impress

    I'll try to take digital pictures and post them when I get a minute
     
  4. Big A

    Big A Senior member

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    This explains why I can't get laid! Finally!

    Fuck this forum, I'm headed to Zara right now.
     
  5. Fuuma

    Fuuma Franchouillard Modasse

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    Huh? Ok so someone just discovered than being too "neat" is for homos and that women like a bit of scruff/badboyishness/whatev. Great research here, unlocking the depths of the human mind one wonderful article at a time.
     
  6. AntiHero84

    AntiHero84 Senior member

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    Huh? Ok so someone just discovered than being too "neat" is for homos and that women like a bit of scruff/badboyishness/whatev. Great research here, unlocking the depths of the human mind one wonderful article at a time.
    Ok, so the pseudo-scientific method used here is certainly lacking, and the point made is rather obvious, but it does reveal some interesting arguments. I wonder what results an actual researcher with rigorously employed method could find. I think for the most part, people who are dressed "immaculately" put off most people, not just women. It seems that perfection in any person can be found annoying by most. "He's too neat and tidy," "The grammar of his post/email is too perfect," "He speaks to properly," etc. It seems that this is another area where people need to decide whether clothing is worth perfection. If so, fuck everybody else and do what you want.
     
  7. Fuuma

    Fuuma Franchouillard Modasse

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    Ok, so the pseudo-scientific method used here is certainly lacking, and the point made is rather obvious, but it does reveal some interesting arguments. I wonder what results an actual researcher with rigorously employed method could find.

    I think for the most part, people who are dressed "immaculately" put off most people, not just women. It seems that perfection in any person can be found annoying by most. "He's too neat and tidy," "The grammar of his post/email is too perfect," "He speaks to properly," etc. It seems that this is another area where people need to decide whether clothing is worth perfection. If so, fuck everybody else and do what you want.


    I dunno I don't see being dressed up and shaved as more perfect than being unshaved and dressed more casually. Aren't those things contextual?
     
  8. AntiHero84

    AntiHero84 Senior member

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    I dunno I don't see being dressed up and shaved as more perfect than being unshaved and dressed more casually. Aren't those things contextual?
    It goes beyond being dressed up and shaved. The women responded well to men who were dressed up, the men who were at least making an effort. However, the same women responded negatively to men who were too dressed up and put together. There seems to be a tipping point between how well dressed a man is, versus attracting positive female attention. Dressing like a schlub won't win you any points with women, but putting in some effort will raise the attraction. When a guy fusses to much and attempts perfection, they are then "trying too hard" or "stiff," which lowers the attraction. Certainly this is all contextual, and would need a better methodology to capture the information this journalist is trying to convey.
     
  9. Film Noir Buff

    Film Noir Buff Senior member

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    I dunno I don't see being dressed up and shaved as more perfect than being unshaved and dressed more casually. Aren't those things contextual?
    What a ruffian you are. You frighten me. Have you looked at the WYWRN thread? I think this article is a sobering reminder that too conservative and too flamboyant isn't nearly as good as ":just right".
     
  10. Chips

    Chips Senior member

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    I think it depends entirely upon the situation where the women in question is judging the man and his dress. If it were in a very formal setting, I don' t think he would be judged harshly for being well put together. But if he were to be in a less formal setting, extra effort would be judged as being to overdone and unappealing.

    George Clooney invariably gets favorable praise from women for many reasons. He is rugged, masculine, ( wealthy and famous, which doesn't hurt) and generally well dressed compared to the next guy.

    I have read many studies that state that men are found to be more attractive by women when they are unshaven with a good bit of stubble. That type of "unformality" isn't meant to be taken as the same as someone dressing down a bit below a high formal level, but I believe it goes hand in hand in communicating the perspective of one who is aware of how he should dress, but not obsessing over it and taking an hour to put a wardrobe together every time he gets dressed.

    I agree that women don't like to feel like they are being upstaged by a man who dresses TOO well. The focus on any couple IMO should be on the woman and her dress. The man should just compliment her appearance. I cannot imagine a women appreciating a man "peacocking" around.
     
  11. mccvi

    mccvi Senior member

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    For a spartan n=1 analysis, I get much more attention from my wife when wearing no tie, with shirt unbuttoned, and sporting casual pants worn with a coat.
     
  12. CDFS

    CDFS Senior member

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    If I read the article correctly, the research was done using pictures of famous men. Or at least using a picture of Johnny Depp. The test subjects probably had preconceived feelings/thoughts of the pictured men. Although the conclusions reached in the article may very well be exemplary of the way women feel, it doesn't follow from the research. (<-- Implied ' ').
     
  13. Chips

    Chips Senior member

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    If I read the article correctly, the research was done using pictures of famous men. Or at least using a picture of Johnny Depp. The test subjects probably had preconceived feelings/thoughts of the pictured men. Although the conclusions reached in the article may very well be exemplary of the way women feel, it doesn't follow from the research. (<-- Implied ' ').



    Agreed.
     
  14. voxsartoria

    voxsartoria Goon member

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    If you proffered photographic examples of actresses and models to some random men (three in their twenties, two in their forties) for their opinions on the approachability and attractiveness of the woman concerned, the immaculately and idiosyncratically dressed women - aside from Gwen Stefani - would receive very low responses for reasons of "˜bitchiness' and "˜utter absence of sexual availability.'

    But, since such men never actually meet such women, the question is moot.


    - B
     
  15. Toorman

    Toorman Senior member

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    I finally feel validated for refusing to wear pocket squares
     

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