To all the successful, experienced members - Was it all worth it?

Discussion in 'Business, Careers & Education' started by LooksGood, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. LooksGood

    LooksGood Senior member

    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    11
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Yay Area
    I'll be 29 soon, and am going through an existential crisis. I grew up very poor and tried to do everything by the book to escape my hellish earlier years. So before college I pretty much just studied, in college it was study and work, and after graduation it's work; I have never partied hard(never even smoked weed).

    I'm frantically trying to climb the corporate ladder because I think money is the biggest/kind of only thing that can make me find happiness. Of course everyone will say family is, but not until I get married(mother left when I was younger, etc.). People have told me I'm obsessed with money, power, and respect. When you and your family sorely lacked those things growing up you tend to want it even more.

    But I can't help but think how much not taking advantage of my youth will cause severe regret when I'm older.

    So to those of you who are very successful(>=200k/yr or net worth >= 1.5 million) and are 47 years old and up, and had to scramble at the expense of your social life when you were younger because you were born poor, has your success been worth it?

    Keep in mind that if you are ridiculously rich and say "yeah it was worth it" that might be a little obvious.

    I voiced a similar concern in an earlier thread and the general consensus was to take time off and travel. I've actually done that, though maybe not for as long as they were suggesting. I didn't gain much from it. I don't think I should try it again since my career is just starting to get into second gear.

    Thanks
     
  2. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Senior member

    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    3,079
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2008
    First, go smoke some weed and think about all these things you've been thinking about lately.

    You will have a better understanding.
     
  3. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Senior member

    Messages:
    12,592
    Likes Received:
    1,652
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Location:
    Princeton, NJ
    In my opinion 'Career' is rarely what makes someone really happy with their life. A good career seems to be a cornerstone, however it is not the only thing.

    Of my friends in the successful camp, those that seem the happiest are well traveled, have a good relationship, some healthy hobbies and generally do not compare themselves regularly to others or ever even talk about money. Those that seem much less so are often comparing themselves to others and have nothing but career.

    There are some outliers but they are rare. Everyone knows the person who is extremely successful and seemingly very happy with their life and also the person who basically floats about without a dollar or a care who also manages to find happiness.
     
  4. Bhowie

    Bhowie Senior member

    Messages:
    13,100
    Likes Received:
    2,980
    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Location:
    Running the trap house.
    Happiness is a state of mind.
     
  5. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Likes Received:
    390
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    I just barely fall into the income range, 46, not the net worth range. I was dirt poor, too. I am happy that I can afford to live reasonably well and give my family a good life. I honestly don't need more than I have, and if I sacrificed more and worked harder and took more risks, I could probably make more money. so you have to find the balance, you want a reasonable amount of disposable income, but you need to be able to spend time with your spouce/kids, you want to have some time for yourself, you want to enjoy your job, more or less.

    reading, that doens't sound too helpful. good luck
     
  6. norcaltransplant

    norcaltransplant Senior member

    Messages:
    2,408
    Likes Received:
    41
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2003
    Location:
    NYC/Brooklyn
    I'm slightly older than you (34), and adhered to a similar route of studying hard throughout college and, later, working hard in my twenties. My upbringing was very middle class, though I attended high school with a pretty affluent crowd. I was never obsessed with "power, money, and respect" as you describe it, though, as I hit my thirties, I realize that my career has become more a lifestyle than just a job. I enjoy my work at least 70-80% of the time though I also wonder about the life I'm missing (e.g. marriage, kids, extended vacations, three-day weekends, etc.).

    Browse your Facebook updates, pick out activities that bring you happiness, and then incorporate them into your own life. Afterwards, take some time to read your old posts and try to formulate an honest reply to your original questions

    Edit #1: replying to this thread is a cathartic activity.
    Edit #2: I'm still waiting on my career to move into second gear (management position)
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  7. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

    Messages:
    11,376
    Likes Received:
    586
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Location:
    Pennsylvania Ave/Connecticut Ave
    

    Nothing wrong with being very driven. However, since you are particularly worried about "losing your youth", what do you want out of taking advantage of it? Living in a dingy studio eating ramen and drinking PBrs? Sleeping with random waify hipsters? Backpacking across Kurdistan? Why can't you be an ambitious, work aholic, young guy?
     
  8. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

    Messages:
    50,301
    Likes Received:
    13,554
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2006
    Location:
    In My Douchemobile
    I partied all of my teens and most of my 20s away. Not sure what to tell you.
     
  9. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

    Messages:
    21,929
    Likes Received:
    7,123
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    
    I think GreenFrog has it covered.
     
  10. bringusingoodale

    bringusingoodale Senior member

    Messages:
    1,491
    Likes Received:
    48
    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2010
    Location:
    Disputed Zone
    I think it will be worth it.

    Not answering directly, but I have 30 something friends and know friend of friends who are pushing 40 with no assets, little work experience. I suppose they were the typical 'too cool for school' crowd.

    Frankly, it is quite pathetic to be in that situation.

    I say keep working hard, buy some apartments, make some more investments and learn to be a self-reliant good citizen.

    Oh, and there are many women today, given the economic change of events, who place gainful employment and wealth above the traditional criteria, so what I am saying is you can also get your pick of women if you play it right.
     
  11. ahdaeeeee

    ahdaeeeee Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2012
    Location:
    Jakarta, Indonesia
    May actually the only advice that is worth listening to. Hahahah!
     
  12. LooksGood

    LooksGood Senior member

    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    11
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Yay Area
    No, your post was along the lines of what I was looking for. Although you were poor, did you have a good social life growing up? Because people can be poor and have a good social life, unfortunately that wasn't the case for me because I went to school with a bunch of rich kids.
     
  13. LooksGood

    LooksGood Senior member

    Messages:
    189
    Likes Received:
    11
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Location:
    The Yay Area
    Women who put wealth above traditional criteria like personality or even looks are fucking disgusting and I would never want to be with someone like that.
     
  14. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

    Messages:
    50,301
    Likes Received:
    13,554
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2006
    Location:
    In My Douchemobile
    

    If you went to school with a bunch of rich kids you blew some awesome networking opportunities.
     
  15. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Likes Received:
    390
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    

    good question - not until I was about 13, then I sort of came into my own. my family moved pretty much every year until I was 13, and then I stayed in one place for a long time.

    really - as a follow up to my previous post, balance is the most important thing. I drive carpool a half dozen times a month, I have lunch with my wife 2-3 times a month, I bathe my kids 5-10 times a month. we sit down together to eat 5-10 times a month. those things are really important, much more important than a big house or a new car, in my opinion.
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by