Tired of being a weak-sack job candidate

[Shoe City Thinker]

I need to dominate and win a job offer. What aggressive tactics can be used to get a job offer? I need some sort of Jedi mind trick training that will convince hiring managers that I'm the only man for them. I'm desperate. I try anything that can secure a job in this crap economy. I'm tired of being a sheep. I want to dominate. I want to be a shark in the room that closes deals. I'm open to suggestions.

 

[Joffrey]

Offer daily handjobs to the employer that would hire you

 

[rjakapeanut]

Originally Posted by Jodum5

Offer daily handjobs to the employer that would hire you

ding ding ding!

 

[Brian SD]

You fools both disgust me.

Anything less than rimjobs aint gettin you **** in this job market. You should know that.

 

[Matt]

im trying to decide if I should DT this thread, answer it, or offer the OP my PM services...

 

[Blackhood]

For me there are some key things for interviews:

1. Know whats going on. Research the company, stock prices, names of board members. Read End of Year reports and find successes, failures and growth areas. Once you have shown the interviewer that you're smart enough to understand the company, they see you as an investment.

2. Confidence. Offer to work for free for two weeks. You're so confident that you can make a difference in the workplace fast that you're willing to give them a no-fee trial. No one will take you up on it, but if delivered in the right way, it can be priceless.

3. Organisation. Have some searching questions lined up. Be there 10 minutes early. Write a follow up letter.

4. Attitude: If you approach it as if you are interviewing them, you'll be golden. For me an interview is for me to decide whether their company is good enough for me to work for. Because the assumption is that I'm up to standard my body language and speech patterns send ultra-confident signals.

 

[Matt]

I agree with all of the above, but think that the OP isn't getting to the interview stage, amirite?

 

[Eason]

This thread reads like a tagutcow "I'm DESPERATE, so how can I win over a girl with my confidence?" thread.

 

[ter1413]

Originally Posted by Blackhood

For me there are some key things for interviews:

1. Know whats going on. Research the company, stock prices, names of board members. Read End of Year reports and find successes, failures and growth areas. Once you have shown the interviewer that you're smart enough to understand the company, they see you as an investment.

2. Confidence. Offer to work for free for two weeks. You're so confident that you can make a difference in the workplace fast that you're willing to give them a no-fee trial. No one will take you up on it, but if delivered in the right way, it can be priceless.

3. Organisation. Have some searching questions lined up. Be there 10 minutes early. Write a follow up letter.

4. Attitude: If you approach it as if you are interviewing them, you'll be golden. For me an interview is for me to decide whether their company is good enough for me to work for. Because the assumption is that I'm up to standard my body language and speech patterns send ultra-confident signals.

do all of that^^ EXCEPT work for free! NEVER discount yourself! NEVER!

 

[Matt]

^disagree.

 

[Joffrey]

Originally Posted by Matt

im trying to decide if I should offer the OP my PM services...

FTFY and sexytime

 

[SkinnyGoomba]

I feel like it comes down to knowledge capital.

 

[boston_bred]

Originally Posted by Blackhood

For me there are some key things for interviews:

1. Know whats going on. Research the company, stock prices, names of board members. Read End of Year reports and find successes, failures and growth areas. Once you have shown the interviewer that you're smart enough to understand the company, they see you as an investment.

2. Confidence. Offer to work for free for two weeks. You're so confident that you can make a difference in the workplace fast that you're willing to give them a no-fee trial. No one will take you up on it, but if delivered in the right way, it can be priceless.

3. Organisation. Have some searching questions lined up. Be there 10 minutes early. Write a follow up letter.

4. Attitude: If you approach it as if you are interviewing them, you'll be golden. For me an interview is for me to decide whether their company is good enough for me to work for. Because the assumption is that I'm up to standard my body language and speech patterns send ultra-confident signals.

I agree with all 3, although maybe not the example used for the second one, there are certainly other ways to display confidence (not cockiness/arrogance) that aren't extreme as working for free.

 

[Connemara]

Know somebody who knows somebody and then the interview is just icing.

 

[Reggs]

Dont be afraid to be somewhat combative during cross examination, but dont come off as someone who's unpleasant to be around.