Tips for someone who is "Reinventing" himself.

[RAN1989]

Hello all!

I've been a lurker on this site on and off for the past 5 years or so.

To keep my life story short(sh):

I'm 27 and gearing up for my MBA next year in Manhattan/NYC. I didn't grow up with money, didn't grow up cultured, but my parents put a lot of stress on education so I was fortunate enough to attend some good schools. I spent the majority of my 20's partying, sleeping around, getting fat, not saving a dime, racking up debt, and jumping from job to job. This past year or so has been the most crucial in setting me up in my career and the rest of my life. Now that I know exactly what I want to do and am heading to school for it, I've started mapping out my goals and taking life a bit more seriously. I've been hitting the gym, moved back home to save up and pay off debt, I've been reading a lot more and going out a lot less. Alongside this, I've been trying to make a lot of small changes to my image, behavior, and the way I carry myself so that I stand out professionally and socially. I'm naturally a people person and good looking dude, but still have plenty of faults. I need to dress better, communicate more efficiently, gain A LOT more confidence and stop worrying all the damn time, increase my knowledge base, and become a bit more disciplined among many other things.


So for any of you who have gone through a similar journey of "reinventing" one self, what things and tips did you receive/do that were most transforming in making you the best version of yourself?

Here are a few of the many questions I have for you distinguished gentlemen:

1. How did you gain the confidence to really not give a !@$# what people think about you and to just go after what you want?

2. What are some wardrobe essentials that I need to pick up as I head to big boy world in the Big Apple? (Suit Supply or Indochino? - How many suits do I need? Shirts?, etc.)

3. How did you become a relentless and hard worker?

4. Have you ever had to cut a good friend because you felt like they didn't add any value to your life and was only holding you back? How'd it go? What did you tell him/her?

5. What is the most important thing you learned about people as you went through this transformation?

6. Daily routine that keeps you moving and motivated/centered?

7. Was there any breakthrough experience of "Ah ha!" moment that was eye-opening and shifted your perspective on life?

Bonus Question: What are your thoughts on dating and marriage? (I ask this because as I get older, it seems like more of a possibility that I might end up either unmarried or going the Derek Jeter route...)

Feel free to answer any of the questions above or just give me your own advice. It is all very much appreciated! Thank you!

 

[Deo Veritas]

Hello all!

I've been a lurker on this site on and off for the past 5 years or so.

To keep my life story short(sh):

I'm 27 and gearing up for my MBA next year in Manhattan/NYC. I didn't grow up with money, didn't grow up cultured, but my parents put a lot of stress on education so I was fortunate enough to attend some good schools. I spent the majority of my 20's partying, sleeping around, getting fat, not saving a dime, racking up debt, and jumping from job to job. This past year or so has been the most crucial in setting me up in my career and the rest of my life. Now that I know exactly what I want to do and am heading to school for it, I've started mapping out my goals and taking life a bit more seriously. I've been hitting the gym, moved back home to save up and pay off debt, I've been reading a lot more and going out a lot less. Alongside this, I've been trying to make a lot of small changes to my image, behavior, and the way I carry myself so that I stand out professionally and socially. I'm naturally a people person and good looking dude, but still have plenty of faults. I need to dress better, communicate more efficiently, gain A LOT more confidence and stop worrying all the damn time, increase my knowledge base, and become a bit more disciplined among many other things.


So for any of you who have gone through a similar journey of "reinventing" one self, what things and tips did you receive/do that were most transforming in making you the best version of yourself?

Here are a few of the many questions I have for you distinguished gentlemen:

1. How did you gain the confidence to really not give a !@$# what people think about you and to just go after what you want?

2. What are some wardrobe essentials that I need to pick up as I head to big boy world in the Big Apple? (Suit Supply or Indochino? - How many suits do I need? Shirts?, etc.)

3. How did you become a relentless and hard worker?

4. Have you ever had to cut a good friend because you felt like they didn't add any value to your life and was only holding you back? How'd it go? What did you tell him/her?

5. What is the most important thing you learned about people as you went through this transformation?

6. Daily routine that keeps you moving and motivated/centered?

7. Was there any breakthrough experience of "Ah ha!" moment that was eye-opening and shifted your perspective on life?

Bonus Question: What are your thoughts on dating and marriage? (I ask this because as I get older, it seems like more of a possibility that I might end up either unmarried or going the Derek Jeter route...)

Feel free to answer any of the questions above or just give me your own advice. It is all very much appreciated! Thank you!

Hi there!

Glad to hear that you have decided to reinvent yourself and have mapped out some short and long-term goals. In regards to questions number 2, dressing well is very important -- especially in a place like the big apple. Everyone wants to look their best, and you want no less as a consummate professional.

We are big fans of Suitsupply and can't recommend them enough as a starting point for your journey into menswear. You should be able to find a great deal of items from there at reasonable pricing to get a fundamental wardrobe.

Depending on your job's dress code, you should ideally have a few suits and a healthy stock of white and blue dress shirts. One can never have too many white shirts, and the blue shirts can be in various shades to alternate your look. Your suit can be a standard blue and gray to start with, and then you can start toying with different patterns and shades as you slowly build up your wardrobe.

If you have a difficult body, you'll find getting any type of clothing off the rack won't fit well. In that case, check out the scores of different online custom suit and shirt makers (ourselves included, see below) that can easily fit your budget.

Lastly, have fun as you slowly discover your own style and know that you will make mistakes and some money will be lost. Just try and research as much as you can, especially when buying anything expensive.

Cheers!

 

[RAN1989]

Thanks a lot! Will take this into deep consideration; also I love your stuff!

 

[tecevo]

1. How did you gain the confidence to really not give a !@$# what people think about you and to just go after what you want?

Fail, happily and without care for each attempt is but an attunement toward success so learn to have that ease that comes with spontaneity and after the initial awkwardness has been transcended you'll put people at ease with your presence because freedom is something everyone enjoys.

2. What are some wardrobe essentials that I need to pick up as I head to big boy world in the Big Apple? (Suit Supply or Indochino? - How many suits do I need? Shirts?, etc.)

Go into a store you like the look of, walk around and pick out a few things that you think would make you feel like a million bucks without looking at a price tag, trim them down and juggle them around until you've crafted a killer outfit then buy it. From there on work on tweaking this one "base" with variations and expand from there to create a coherent look.

3. How did you become a relentless and hard worker?

By doing more and talking less. Also get rid of your phone because its a time vacuum, as is most of the net.

4. Have you ever had to cut a good friend because you felt like they didn't add any value to your life and was only holding you back? How'd it go? What did you tell him/her?

Not all that help you grow will complete the journey with you and when you get to that moment that most of your conversations with your bestie start with "Remember when..." you know its time to do your own thing and wish them the best. Focus more on you, not them and it will all come together as it should.

5. What is the most important thing you learned about people as you went through this transformation?

Most folks are very superficial and you get a totally different reception when you're freshly dressed as contrasted to wearing weak old sweats but this also works in the reverse as not all glitters are found on gold and many shallow folk over compensate with nice clothes and presentation whilst having nothing to say once you get to know them. Feed the mind, everyone loves a good conversation.

6. Daily routine that keeps you moving and motivated/centered?

Exercise the moment you get out of bed.

7. Was there any breakthrough experience of "Ah ha!" moment that was eye-opening and shifted your perspective on life?

Too many to share here but they have a habit of increasing once you feed the attention that noticed the event in the first place as your awareness increases as it becomes more paradoxically diffused and attuned at the same time.

Bonus Question: What are your thoughts on dating and marriage? (I ask this because as I get older, it seems like more of a possibility that I might end up either unmarried or going the Derek Jeter route...)

Lets just say this, enjoy the present and see where it leads. Only by being whole heartedly in the moment can you navigate potentials to create a satisfactory outcome.

 

[RAN1989]

Tecevo...You're the man... That was great. Thank you.