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This is about to be the bachelor party from hell.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by JesseJB, May 11, 2010.

  1. upnorth

    upnorth Senior member

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    All these calls for divorce before the marriage is really getting me down.

    I was the best man for someone in a similar position. All you have to do is to even the scores. That means that you are essentially planning for two parties, a bachelor party and a bachelorette party. Hire strippers to both. Smoke weed. I betcha the bitch won't complain anymore and nobody is gonna accuse no one that they are keeping all the fun to themselves.

    Let's face it, even if you don't do it, you think that girl and/ or her girlfriends are going to be sitting at home reading novels? They will be likely be at a more rambunctious party while you and your friend are stuck at a lame 6th grade camping trip sharing what could've been.
     
  2. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

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    Your friend sounds like he needs an intervention, not a bachelor party. First, he seems to be forgetting that the bachelor party is as much about the attendees as the guest of honor. What if they hate camping? A good bachelor party doesn't needs strippers, but it at minimum should have include steaks and booze. Second, I agree with everyone who said that it's the principle of standing on his own two feet that is at stake here. I give this marriage five years tops.
     
  3. JesseJB

    JesseJB Senior member

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    I will keep you guys updated.

    And yeah, we are at full-blown "Saving Silverman" red alert here.

    I am considering bailing. I cannot let my best man resume be tainted by this.
     
  4. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    I don't even want a bachelor party if/when I ever get married. I agree with all the other posters though. There's a good chance he's making a mistake. Then again, maybe he's that lucky guy that finds the right woman in high school and never looks back (like kwilk).
     
  5. jobro

    jobro Senior member

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    Show him this thread
     
  6. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member

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    Conne would opt for a male bonding activity consisting of sorting through old 1980s NY Times obituary sections and making a team scrapbook of favourite Upper East Side WASP deceased socialites. While Murder She Wrote plays in the background and everyone mutually masturbates each other to the beat of the drum brush on Art Tatum's Making Whoopee off the Art Tatum Tatum Group Masterpieces, Vol. 1 compact disc.

    sounds like you guys had a good time.



    This guy is all sorts of sad. OP, bail or go balls to the wall bachelor party, he'll thank you later, after he recovers.
     
  7. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    Show him this thread
    Yes, show him this thread.
     
  8. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    Im the best man for a very close relative that is getting married next spring.

    Im throwing the bachelor party, which I am MOAR than happy to do.

    Here's where things aren't looking too good:

    1. Hes starting with the "Its my day so I say we are doing _______" crap. And that crap is "camping."

    2. Hes never been allowed to smoke a cigar and will not do it just in case she ever would find out (also his finace's rule).

    3. The fiance (and him) say "no drugs and no strippers."

    4. Now I'm being told I need to book it a month in advance because the fiance says so (WTF?).

    5. This is his first and only girlfriend (of 6 years now).

    6. Hes totally the kind of guy who would tell his fiance what went down at the bachelor party.



    What to do?

    I almost want to politely decline. But I kinda want to fight the power.



    Go camping and book it a month in advance. Bring lots of booze Hire strippers and have them come to the camp in role play (camping gear), whereby they pretend to befriend your friends and drunkingly (or play drunkingly) strip for them and hopefully the drunk groom. Take pictures as black mail so he never tells his fiance. Take drugs and cigars too and see if he drunkingly agrees to use them.
     
  9. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Senior member

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    Go camping and book it a month in advance. Bring lots of booze Hire strippers and have them come to the camp in role play (camping gear), whereby they pretend to befriend your friends and drunkingly (or play drunkingly) strip for them and hopefully the drunk groom. Take pictures as black mail so he never tells his fiance. Take drugs and cigars too and see if he drunkingly agrees to use them.

    I like the way you think.
     
  10. Nouveau Pauvre

    Nouveau Pauvre Senior member

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    1.) camping totally rocks.
    2.) despite that, all the advice in this thread is correct

    except for

    3.)anything by sho'nuff. before people get bothered by his posts in threads like this you have to remember he is a relativcely religious christian.
     
  11. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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    3.)anything by sho'nuff. before people get bothered by his posts in threads like this you have to remember he is a relativcely religious christian.
    Which explains why he objects to drinking/strippers/drugs. But it doesn't explain his very strange thoughts on wives/girlfriends/fiances making rules for their men to follow, and the man being enough of a wuss to not stand up for himself.
     
  12. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Senior member

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    k pm me if you want i can explain more in pm. than here.
     
  13. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    ...Then again, maybe he's that lucky guy that finds the right woman in high school and never looks back (like kwilk).

    Yeah. Lish even let kwilk keep his balls.














    Oh, wait.
    [​IMG]
     
  14. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    post of the week.

    You can tell it's not Conne because this guy wants to go camping. Conne would opt for a male bonding activity consisting of sorting through old 1980s NY Times obituary sections and making a team scrapbook of favourite Upper East Side WASP deceased socialites. While Murder She Wrote plays in the background and everyone mutually masturbates each other to the beat of the drum brush on Art Tatum's Making Whoopee off the Art Tatum Tatum Group Masterpieces, Vol. 1 compact disc.
     
  15. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    aside from me pocket calling my wife, my design director had the greatest bachelor party of all time. i don;t even know where to start, but it ended with 4 strippers making a human centipede, albeit temporarily
     
  16. pseudonym

    pseudonym Senior member

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    Go camping and book it a month in advance. Bring lots of booze Hire strippers and have them come to the camp in role play (camping gear), whereby they pretend to befriend your friends and drunkingly (or play drunkingly) strip for them and hopefully the drunk groom. Take pictures as black mail so he never tells his fiance. Take drugs and cigars too and see if he drunkingly agrees to use them.

    +9000

    Then again, maybe he's that lucky guy that finds the right woman in high school and never looks back (like kwilk).

    Really?
     
  17. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    i know my wife since high school and knew she was the one but banged a lot of broads in between high school and marriage. kyle, is your girl your one and only?
     
  18. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

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    Go camping and book it a month in advance. Bring lots of booze Hire strippers and have them come to the camp in role play (camping gear), whereby they pretend to befriend your friends and drunkingly (or play drunkingly) strip for them and hopefully the drunk groom. Take pictures as black mail so he never tells his fiance. Take drugs and cigars too and see if he drunkingly agrees to use them.
    Here's my addition: Hire a stripper to dress up in a bear costume and attack the groom-to-be in the middle of the night. First, he pees his pants when he believes he's being attacked by a bear. Then the bear costume comes off and he pees his pants again when he realizes he's in a tent with a naked woman who is not his fiancee. Hilarity ensues!
     
  19. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    go camping and reenact last house on the left
     
  20. cross22

    cross22 Senior member

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    Just shoot him and dump his body in the woods. That is better than being married to that thing and then having to go through the divorce...
     

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