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This grift sounds like the beginning of a Cohen Bros movie!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Teacher, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. Teacher

    Teacher Senior member

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    http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/04/...disappear.html

     


  2. Teacher

    Teacher Senior member

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    Seriously? Nobody finds this amusing?
     


  3. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    I chuckled.

    That's a good first act, but where do you go from there? I suspect the old man decides to track them down.

    Act II is where he find the minister, an alcoholic pederast who watches repeats of the nightly news on VHS tapes while drinking Schlitz in his garage. In order to get any information from the minister he must compete against him in a shuffle board challenge. After the old man wins, the minister confesses it was actually a set up by the "wife" to have the old man killed when he returned from the store. He doesn't know anything else and falls into a coma from alcohol poisoning.

    Act III, the old man tracks down his "wife" at a reservation in native Eskimo lands of Canada. She's the new wife of the Inuit chief, and in order to get some private conversation time with her he has to fight a polar bear to the death while naked with naught but a buck knife and a cell phone. He's successful after he manages to assemble a rudimentary stun gun with the cell phone's battery. During his conversation with his "wife" he discovers that she's actually the daughter of a couple the old man unintentionally killed many years ago during a drunk driving mishap after he returned from his service in the armed forces during Gulf War I and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. The old man expresses how he has changed his life for the better and he and his "wife" hold each other and cry as the scene fades to black.

    /fin
     


  4. milesdavisjr

    milesdavisjr Well-Known Member

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  5. Teacher

    Teacher Senior member

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    I chuckled.

    That's a good first act, but where do you go from there? I suspect the old man decides to track them down.

    Act II is where he find the minister, an alcoholic pederast who watches repeats of the nightly news on VHS tapes while drinking Schlitz in his garage. In order to get any information from the minister he must compete against him in a shuffle board challenge. After the old man wins, the minister confesses it was actually a set up by the "wife" to have the old man killed when he returned from the store. He doesn't know anything else and falls into a coma from alcohol poisoning.

    Act III, the old man tracks down his "wife" at a reservation in native Eskimo lands of Canada. She's the new wife of the Inuit chief, and in order to get some private conversation time with her he has to fight a polar bear to the death while naked with naught but a buck knife and a cell phone. He's successful after he manages to assemble a rudimentary stun gun with the cell phone's battery. During his conversation with his "wife" he discovers that she's actually the daughter of a couple the old man unintentionally killed many years ago during a drunk driving mishap after he returned from his service in the armed forces during Gulf War I and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. The old man expresses how he has changed his life for the better and he and his "wife" hold each other and cry as the scene fades to black.

    /fin


    Not bad, except that last part sounds like a Tarantino movie.
     


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