Thinking About Number 3, What's Wrong With Me?

[NewYorkIslander]

My wife and I are in discussions about a third kid. We're doing ok now, ok enough that I can keep up this expensive habit, but we're both absolutely ******* exhausted. We have a 3 year old and a 20 month old. I'd love to have a to of children if money wasn't an issue, but it is, and like I said we're exhausted.

The thing is, if we wait much longer, the two we have now will be out of diapers and it will be like starting all over and I don't know if I can handle starting again. I want to buy a motorcycle, that won't happen if number three comes along, or at least until our current lease is up. I definitely won't be able to keep this habit either and may have to sell much of what I have on eBay or B&S to clear space and raise funds. As much as it gives me pleasure to impress and disgust you guys on here, nothing brings me the joy that my kids do.

So, any of the dads here who were in my spot, those who decided to take the plunge, and those who didn''t, I'd love to hear your experiences, regrets, etc...Thanks.

 

[NorCal]

Go for it. Kids beat things any day. As long as you can keep a roof over your head, save a little something for your golden years, and keep your sanity, rock the **** on.

 

[NewYorkIslander]

^^^Yea, just worried that number three might kill any idea of saving what we'd like for retirement...

 

[HRoi]

Nah, two's good. Don't get me wrong, if my wife and I ever had an unplanned kid it would still be the greatest blessing ever, but if you've got two I couldn't ever see myself going for three.

And this from a guy who grew up in a big family and loved having my 3 siblings and 40+ cousins close by

 

[edmorel]

Two is enough. Three means your wife will not work (she may not be working already), you will give up on a lot of "adult" stuff for another number of years, you will only be more exhausted and, in my experience, each subsequent child leads to a less patient parent, less time for the others, less time for the parents. Then there is all the kid stuff to think about (spiltting up to take 1 here, 2 there, number three somewhere else. College funds etc). I love my kids more than anything but you still need to maintain some semblance of a romantic/adult relationship with your wife and it sounds like you guys are already at your kid limit in terms of energy and time. Plus with three kids you definitely have to get a minivan, and then you'll be like kunk

 

[Rambo]

After seeing that picture of your foot I believe you should reconsider.

 

[Douglas]

i have one. i want three. but i don't have two, so i'm not really all that qualified to comment. i imagine it has a lot of rough moments but it's probably fantastic when you get older.

 

[acidboy]

kinda in the same boat as you. our firstborn's 8 years old, and our 2nd's 3... both girls. I want to go for 3, and my wife's kinda on the fence about it. thing is I totally love this fatherhood racket, and nothing gives me more joy than my kids and its pretty hard to explain why I want a 3rd but trying for a son is perhaps my biggest reason (of course having another daughter is also cool most definitely). my kids are the biggest motivation I have for working hard, trying to succeed, and staying healthy enough.

 

[Dakota rube]

My kids all came unexpectedly: RubeBabes™ I and II are nearly 7 years apart; then 4 years to RB™ III and another almost 7 to RB™IV. (You read that right: I've got kids from 14 to 32!)

"Starting over" as you said, isn't really all that bad; it allowed me to enjoy each one growing up as an individual, not as a collective "kids".

If you're not ready now, don't force the issue. If sometime in the future another child comes along, you'll maybe be less hectic, less frantic.

The money thing with kids is never easy.

 

[thekunk07]

yes, 3 is exponentially harder than 2. only reason to go for a 3rd is if you have 2 girls. if you have one of each, cut your vas deferens. My wife just went to work after being home for 11 years. I force the kids to go to bed at 9 so I can bang their mom but the logistics are tough. You will have no time, with 3 someone always has a party/sports event/music lesson. I love my kids and I thank the atheist god everyday that my young hot seed allowed me to have 3 boys and while I couldn't live without any of them, I could have lived with 2. When we fly, it's an extra $700. At disney, an extra 2k. Groceries are 75-100 more a week per person.

Originally Posted by edmorel

Two is enough. Three means your wife will not work (she may not be working already), you will give up on a lot of "adult" stuff for another number of years, you will only be more exhausted and, in my experience, each subsequent child leads to a less patient parent, less time for the others, less time for the parents. Then there is all the kid stuff to think about (spiltting up to take 1 here, 2 there, number three somewhere else. College funds etc). I love my kids more than anything but you still need to maintain some semblance of a romantic/adult relationship with your wife and it sounds like you guys are already at your kid limit in terms of energy and time. Plus with three kids you definitely have to get a minivan, and then you'll be like kunk

 

[Rambo]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

I force the kids to go to bed at 9 so I can bang their mom

 

[cross22]

Originally Posted by Rambo

+1

 

[emptym]

I've heard that one is tough. And two is exponentially tougher. But three is easier, since the oldest can take care of the youngest and they all keep each other entertained. Not true?

 

[thekunk07]

^um, no.

my oldest and youngest get along.

my middle and oldest get along.

the middle and youngest do not

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

the middle and youngest do not

Because the middle one used to be the youngest. Now his position as the adored baby has been usurped. Pretty typical middle-child stuff.