Discussion in 'General Chat' started by tiecollector, Jul 3, 2009.
Use it to give your next hooker a 40% tip.
Sadly, my hookers charge much more than $10.
Do they usually have change on them? Like if you gave them a $10 and a $5 would they give you a $1?
I've never asked. Taking dirty bills from strange women is a recipe for disaster. Who knows what kinds of germs are present on those dollars in her filthy pocketbook.
No clue what that is, but he will fart, sniff his bum and leave, as he can't take the smell.
My dog farted himself awake, then started growling at his anus. It was funny enough to almost make the horrendous smell tolerable.
He did that the other day, so funny.
15 bills for a hooker you fucking baller.
one variable gets smaller while the other gets bigger... so, smaller dog, bigger farts!
Is that like Sandra Bernhard and previously shat-upon Chelsea Handler? Uglier face/bigger mouth, more stale and malodorous routine?
Which brings me to something else that I don't get... Insult comics. Look, that's an easy routine. They're never clever or funny. They're not insulting because they're too gimmicky. It's the easiest act in the book and somehow they always find an audience, usually by popping to some cheap every-man political schtick.
Freakin' voice mails. I can see I have a missed call from you, I do not give a shit what about. I will call you back (or most likely not) Now you;ve just given me a pointless chore.
Sugar free maple syrup (sounds as bad as vagina free sex)
Insult comics can be hilarious. its just uncomfortable watch sometimes - but thats the whole point. Insult stand up comedy is basically the free form Jazz of comedy.
Louie CK and Chris Rock both have stand up acts based on viciously insulting people. They copped their shtick from Carlin who was the master of insult comedy. There is comedy gold to be had from insulting social norms (Carlin) and the new school of insulting norms then turning it on its head (Louie CK on insulting his own daughters for being assholes, stupid, worthless, as children - children usually being off topic for standup) or insulting the obvious (blacks vs Nigg**s bit from chris rock) that everyone is too afraid to broach upon.
if anything the roast comedies made such a comeback because the 90's-2000's became too politically correct - so ripe for insulting based comedy to come back strong.
Sure comics like Brian Regan, Jim Gaffigan, Jim Jefferies, and newer ones like Hanibal Burress can pull off observational humor to awesome levels, but have you ever youtube'd their live club clips? they'll still use insult comedy a lot because its practically the basis of stand up. even Mitch Headburg would do it.
here's something I don't get: why the fuck are groups like GLAAD attacking stand up comics like Tracy Morgan? Once you start censoring stand up comedians by being thin skinned and reactionary you begin cheapening your own cause.
The reason they're doing it is because they need to attack someone. Groups like Glaad exist only as long as they can create a problem to generate funding. If no one is insulting gays then they cease to exist and would have to go out and get real jobs. So they look for anything they can find. Look at the front page of their website, it's all cries to get offended about something. Tracy just happened to be the guy they caught on an otherwise slow news month. It's a shame he had to apologize, which I find much more offensive than anything he actually said.
Put it toward a drink, if we ever end up grabbing one.
Why are the small round tables in restaurants always so goddamn wobbly? Do any of these places own a fucking wrench?
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