things that make you laugh and cry at the gym...

[GQgeek]

I was doing my pull-ups today when I noticed these two guys on the pec machine making complete asses of themselves. They were lifting way more weight than they could handle. I had never seen someone do assisted reps on a MACHINE before but that's what I saw today. Not only that but they were so damned obnoxious about it as well. I was secretly hoping for them to hurt themselves and go away.

Then later on the other side of the gym while I was doing hack squats, some dude came up to his boyfriend WHILE HE WAS IN THE DOWN POSITION OF A SQUAT and pretended like he was gonna whip out his schlong. His partner wasn't amused and basically told him to go away. Some people really shouldn't be allowed out in public...

 

[Oldboy]

One time at the gym I walked into the locker room after a workout and there was a fat, hairy old guy using the hand dryer to dry his crotch area. He had one foot on the ground and the other perched up on the edge of the sink. His whole package was in plain view for everyone to see. There was nothing I could do to avoid seeing it.

 

[Ivan Kipling]

This is in part, why I don't go to gyms, and work out at home. One of the funniest things I saw at 'the gym,' happened when a man didn't know that the full length mirror in front of which he stood preening in the nude, was transparent from the other side. Everyone at the pool, which included members of both sexes (at least,) got a free show. Wasn't too hot, but it was, free . . .

 

[Tck13]

My turn. One time, a man near me was straining to do lat. raises (I think, or maybe curls?) and he totally farted. LOUD. Everyone in the vicinity heard it. So, just to break the uncomfortable silence after his flatulence I said, "man, those protein shakes are killer aren't they?" (or something stupid like that) but he just went about his business. I thought it was kinda funny actually. Well, funny like I found another machine on the other side of the gym funny. That kind of funny. Oh! And there was the time while at yoga when the girl next to me Varted. But that's another story.

 

[dah328]

I once went to the gym with a female friend of mine. She stopped by between exercises while I was doing my last/heaviest set on the bench press. I didn't need a spot, but it was obviously requiring more effort than the previous sets so she decided she would help me. That, in and of itself, is fine, but she proceeded to walk around to the right side of the bench and lift up that one end of the bar. Since it was my heaviest set, I couldn't counter the sudden and unexpected change in weight distribution so the whole bar tilted toward the left and all the weights on the left side (2 plates and change) fell off. Now that all the weight was concentrated on the right side, the bar immediately tilted to right resulting in another pile of weights on the floor. Nothing like being the guy on the bench who dumps his weights all over the ground.

 

[dah328]

The things that really make me laugh/cry at the gym are the guys who have been working for 2+ years with personal trainers at nearly $100/hr and they still look like they haven't seen the inside of a gym. I can never understand that. Do these people not expect results?

 

[Saucemaster]

There's a guy at my gym whose idea of an ab workout is to lay out his mat (very carefully--it takes him about three times as long as it needs to when he does this), lay on his back for about three minutes without moving, then bring his legs to his chest and kick forward so that the momentum brings his upper body off the ground and up to meet his knees. Then he kind of falls backward, which I think is why he's so careful to lay out his mat. Nothing else to break his downward momentum (you know, like his ABS or something). He does about fifteen of these, then stops, looking very pleased.

Then he uses the elliptical machine for about twenty minutes and calls it a day.

 

[Brian SD]

I actually work at a gym and haven't seen anything as funny as what you guys have experienced. Lucky..

 

[Violinist]

all the people who swing and try to lift stuff they cannot possibly come close to doing properly, then looking very satisfied as if they just killed it.

 

[Impulse155]

i still like the fat guy trying to prove hes all muscle by doing more than he can handle.

 

[AdamG]

Heard about a guy strap himself into a squat once. He then put too much on the bar, walked out and fell backwards.

He also ripped both his shoulders out of his sockets.

 

[drizzt3117]

A few days ago when I was at the fitness center in Vegas, I saw a overweight gent on the bench press with just the bar, and (I'm not even kidding) he asked a nearby guy for a spot.

 

[JBZ]

When I was in law school, there was a guy (not a law student) who came to the gym and worked out in wool trousers and a v-neck white undershirt. Every now and then, he would let out a loud whooping noise while he was riding the exercise bike.

Of course, an undergrad co-ed who had posed in one of Playboy's "Girls of the Big East" spreads also worked out there, so you take the bad with the good.

More recently, there was that loser who put too much weight on the bar while benching and got stuck under it, only to be rescued by the cute girl in front of everyone. What a loser. Oh, wait, that was me.

 

[Englandmj7]

It always makes me smile when I see people get on the treadmill for a grand total of less than 5 minutes then get off feeling completely satisfied that they "worked out....."

There is also this overweight guy at my gym who does lever-seated leg curls for no **** about 45 minutes EVERY DAY. This is absolutely ridiculous and I find myself holding back the urge to say "what the hell do you think you are doing!" each time I walk by him........maybe he thinks you can burn all your leg fat by doing this?

Where I went to University there is a 65% female student body, and since it was in Los Angeles, there was a large number of wannabe actresses, etc. Needless to say, my gym was ridiculously PACKED with beautiful women. Nonetheless, one of my old roommates was not paying attention on the treadmill and slipped in front of about 75 of said beautiful women....I remember walking around campus with him for the next couple weeks and getting a few giggles from attractive passers-by......

 

[drizzt3117]

Originally Posted by Englandmj7

It always makes me smile when I see people get on the treadmill for a grand total of less than 5 minutes then get off feeling completely satisfied that they "worked out....."

There is also this overweight guy at my gym who does lever-seated leg curls for no **** about 45 minutes EVERY DAY. This is absolutely ridiculous and I find myself holding back the urge to say "what the hell do you think you are doing!" each time I walk by him........maybe he thinks you can burn all your leg fat by doing this?

Where I went to University there is a 65% female student body, and since it was in Los Angeles, there was a large number of wannabe actresses, etc. Needless to say, my gym was ridiculously PACKED with beautiful women. Nonetheless, one of my old roommates was not paying attention on the treadmill and slipped in front of about 75 of said beautiful women....I remember walking around campus with him for the next couple weeks and getting a few giggles from attractive passers-by......

What school in LA has 65% women?