Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bergdorf Goodwill, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. why

    why Senior member

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    Go to the birthday. I can't imagine people think that somehow by not going to the birthday party as some kind of puerile protest that things will change. It will just alienate others from you and consequently your beliefs. Nobody looks up to someone who scorns them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013


  2. donjuan17

    donjuan17 Senior member

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    This!
    I've been meaning to go too. My insurance should be kicking back in anytime now tho so [​IMG]
    LOL
    My thoughts exactly if I don't get insurance.

    P.S. I heard condoms are covered by insurance. Anyone know if this is true?
     


  3. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    You do make a good point. I had a similar situation with a family member, and even though I had stated I wasn't going, I ended up there. It didn't make the situation better, but at least they couldn't say I wasn't there.
     


  4. otc

    otc Senior member

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    doesn't the generic excedrin just show up as like "CVS Migraine"? AFAIK from some quick research, excedrin and excedrin migraine are the exact same drugs, they just tell you not to take more than 2 in 24 hours on the migraine package (I guess migraine people can have "rebound headaches" if they take too many drugs). I've never been technically diagnosed with migraines, but I am fairly confidant I have had a few (I get all the symptoms and my mom gets them pretty bad) and excedrin has worked pretty well so I ignore the warning about not taking them unless a doctor has diagnosed you with migraines.


    Dunno about insurance, but they can be paid for out of a flexible spending account (use it or lose it baby!)
     


  5. Gibonius

    Gibonius Senior member

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    Half my headaches are from caffeine withdraw, so Excedin works great :embar:
     


  6. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    No h8 mang, but we disagree here.

    First, what's so bad about being alienated by simpering, pandering "parents" and their spoiled spawn? I have a kid, I certainly don't want to expose her to that kind of behavior and the implicit approval that attendance brings.
    Second, who says they have to change on my account anyway?
    And third - not that this is going to happen in today's non-judgemental day and age - but wouldn't it send a message if people threw a party and no one came?
     


  7. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I've woken up hungover so many times where it looks like my shoes went through a war zone. I used to wear "bar shoes", but in my ripe and old age of 27 I no longer attend such bars where the riff-raff dwell.
     


  8. why

    why Senior member

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    Alienation from a family member would be very bad to me.

    Nobody. But I'd imagine not going to the party would do more harm than good. I doubt they'll change if someone doesn't attend in protest, but they just might change (or at least the kid) if they respect him.

    I think a better and more mature answer -- given only two choices -- would be for everyone to confront the issue directly rather than for everyone to simply not attend. Plus it's possible that by attending other people of like minds could be found as well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013


  9. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    1) To you, perhaps. To others it's routine and how they express and enforce their norms. I know lots of fractured families, siblings who don't speak, siblings who have filed lawsuits against each other, etc.
    2) What kind of harm would you expect from non-attendance to a party?
    3) I agree that direct confrontation is preferable in general, but trying to criticize a parent for how his or her child turned out is a non-starter. In fact, you'll likely end up alienated anyway for broaching the subject head-on. You either get a) a defensive parent, or b) hand-wringing and lip service to a culture that supposedly marginalizes parents. And if you want to talk about finding those of like minds, nothing sends a clearer signal than skipping the event, and the people who wished they had done the same will be the first to call.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013


  10. why

    why Senior member

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    To me it's childish and cowardly.

    Reinforcement of the child's presumably bad norms. A lot of children (and immature people in general) will act spitefully, which in this case means doing the exact opposite of whatever Biscotti intends.

    So ultimately you'll at least be more respected even if just as alienated.

    And I'd say that finding like-minded people in person at the party is more likely than sitting around at home hoping one of them calls so you can give them a piece of your mind over the phone.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013


  11. Lady Canuker

    Lady Canuker Senior member

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    Spoken like someone who has never had a child of their own or any direct, meaningful contact with one. I wouldn't go nor would I allow anyone to bully me into going, it's called standing up for your beliefs and values, going will only give the impression of approval of the whole sad/sorry situation.
     


  12. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    i think it certainly depends on the family dynamic. while i cant say i have ever not gone to a family event for a reason along the lines of the discussion, still, as a person who values family very dearly, there are times when not attending something, can be the best thing, imo. it can be delicate, and it really depends on the dynamic and many factors, but i would not say that out of hand it is the wrong thing to do.
     


  13. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

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    If for no other reason than the bolded do not go. It is clear they do not respect you based on the bolded so no action you take, going or not going, is about to make a difference in how they raise this child. The fact they are justifying their child rearing methods on purported actions of a pre-industrial society also indicates the chances of influencing them for the good are small. Given you want no part in your nieces' life, and that her father treats you rather poorly, I fail to see a single reason you should attend. Save the price of a b-day present and do something nice for Numero Uno.
     


  14. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    I was going to go point-by-point, but the bolded kind of sums it up. Very few people have ever walked up to parents and said, "hey I don't think you're raising your kid right" and won the ensuing argument or non-argument (and been respected). Grandparents might get away with it, under the right circumstances, and when I say under the right circumstances I really mean "when the child is 35, jobless and still living with their parents because they won't do shit for themselves" That's about the time most parents will listen to these kinds of words. Maybe your family is different but that's what I've known.

    As an alternative, try this experiment: go up to a parent and compliment them on how their child acts. Watch their reaction. Other side of the same coin.
     


  15. hendrix

    hendrix Ill-proportioned

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    this.

    You can only be responsible for your own actions.
     


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