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Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bergdorf Goodwill, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    so you do a lot of sexing in the bed then yes?
     
  2. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    sucky situation. we had that with a relatives kid. hard to walk the right line, but it seems you are on the right track. your kid will be mad at you for curbing some of the time there, but its the right thing to do i think. and i have no doubt they tend to end up there for exactly the lack of supervision/structure you are concerned about.

    its one thing if your kid is not being affected, but if you are seeing that she is picking up some habits you dont want to to have, you are 100% right in making some changes.

    also, LD made some good points too, and he is a smart dude.
     
  3. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Senior member

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    Were you guys ready when you had kids or did you just sort of go with the momentum so to speak?
     
  4. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    lol i dont even know. i just knew i wanted em. ready or not.
     
  5. Master Milano

    Master Milano Senior member

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    can't figure out why I didn't receive financial aid this year even though i filled out required forms (fafsa - admitted right before the deadline) and as it stands I have no way to pay for college and need to sort this out immediate... pure frustration
     
  6. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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  7. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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    I've just realized I haven't had a conversation with a woman since April.
     
  8. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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    I take that back, I had a moderately in depth conversation with some honky in Bradford, PA some weeks ago. What a shithole of a town.
     
  9. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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    I can't wait to wake up at five!
     
  10. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    Went with the flow...

    I was quite happy having them but not obsessed with the issue...

    A kind of Que sera sera attitude to it...

    I had them at the tender age of 40..
     
  11. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    the name is so interesting I had to check it out...
    [​IMG]

    are these the ladyz you hang out with, patrons of "The Home of the Tree Braid"?

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    and perhaps this is you, yes?
    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    Are you in county jail????
     
  13. death shot

    death shot Senior member

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    Are you really insulting me because I resolved your issue?

    ... Fucking whore.
     
  14. Douglas

    Douglas Senior member

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    Thanks LD, very solid advice. All very useful; some of it I'm actually already working on, but the bolded, for me, is the real wisdom. I'm gonna have to stop bitching about this and realize that it is going to be a constant... for the next 14 (18? 20?) years. So rather than kvetch I need to work on a consistent approach (that probably includes parts of everything else you have to say) to employ for the duration.

    Anyways, yesterday, I did have a very calm convo with the kid explaining why I was disappointed in her reaction, I told her she was forbidden to see her friend for 2 days, and that if she apologized and came to an understanding of why I was upset with her (over her inappropriate reaction to the boundaries I had set) then we could move on after that. Within minutes, she was totally 100% again.

    I think they know when they're testing. Once you are clear (without losing your shit - the key is pulling all your anger out of the situation, which is often very hard) and consistend and unemotional I think they respect that. At least, that has been a lot of my experience thus far.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. Douglas

    Douglas Senior member

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    Pissing me off today:

    There has been a ridiculous rash of break-ins in my neighborhood lately. A few weeks ago, some of the break-ins (literally on our block - people a few houses over) were "hot," i.e. with residents home. They've lately been breaking into homes in broad daylight when nobody is home. They knock on the door to see if anyone is around; if not they circle to the back or basement door, kick it in, and smash and grab electronics and jewelry. At least once, they were caught in the act but there was a getaway driver.

    They hit the house 5 doors down a few days ago; we live at one end of a block and at least four homes on a block of ~16 homes have been hit in the past few weeks. At least several other homes on nearby blocks have also been hit. Our next door neighbor (Sally's mom, ha!) reports that an 8-10 year old boy knocked on her door yesterday and she answered. He asked if she needed someone to mow her lawn; he was clearly not of lawnmowing age or capability.

    Everyone suspects it's more or less a bunch of kids; maybe 15-18 years old. One neighbor caught them walking up his driveway wearing ski masks, grabbed his pistol, and shouted them off.

    I don't think they are necessarily violent given what's gone down to date, but we basically feel like sitting ducks. We have an alarm and cameras, though for the moment, I am having trouble with the DVR software to let me access the cameras, which appear to be on but I can't tell for sure. I fear for my dogs, who are just little Yorkies; not much use for home defense and may prove too much temptation for someone to steal. I'm not sure if the stories of little dogs being used as bait dogs for dog fighting are true, but they frighten me, but even if it were just to sell or keep for their own it bothers me. Or more likely, they'd just get punted as they tried to defend the home. My shit is insured; we went through and photographed all our valuables, watches, jewelry, etc. last night but it's just really shitty to be hiding your own stuff in your own house in case you get smash-and-grabbed.

    It's also hard not to start seeing Zimmerman parallels when you are pretty sure there's at least one very small kid peripherally involved, and you're pretty sure it's a bunch of adolescents breaking into homes when residents are there. It's brazen and frightening and if you don't want to defend your home with a gun, well, the fact is you're just letting them get away with it. They've been getting away with it for weeks now, hitting the same blocks, repeatedly, even in a community with private security and supposedly a stepped-up police presence.

    It's galling.
     
  16. LawrenceMD

    LawrenceMD Senior member

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    I think my parents purposely dropped me off at sketchy family friends and cousins places just to see how other people lived. I was a spoiled child (kind of a miracle/menopausal/mistake baby born 8 years after my older brother) and my parents figured out that leaving me with other families for a day would let me gain perspective. They were just too worn out and older to really discipline me when I was a kid. I did see some sketchy shit though.

    - one of the families had a physically abusive step dad. ironically the mom was a LAPD officer. the dad never touched me but i learned that sometimes you have to just shut the fuck up and behave around crazy/abusive people as an act of self preservation. the guy was eventually arrested and the mother divorced him.
    - another family lived in a really sketchy part of riverside CA. I learned that nice families actually do live in the hood.
    - i also stayed with a lot of mixed race families (both very affluent and poor). I learned really early that lots of money does not equal happiness.

    now that I think of it... maybe my parents did drop me off to hang out with other families a little too often :mad: :cloud:
     
  17. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    Yeesh, Douglas, that's scary. There are few things more unsettling than not feeling secure in your own home/neighborhood. We had some broad-daylight muggings in my neighborhood not too long ago, and it was a really terrible feeling. It makes you paranoid and uncomfortable.

    As far as your daughter, FWIW the first thing I thought was what you highlighted in LD's post. There are always going to be bad influences, parents with dissimilar rules, and so forth, but your job as a a parent is to identify them and mitigate it as best you can. It sounds like you're on the right track, and I'll echo Piob's post: The very fact that you're so concerned about it, and doing your best to deal with it fairly and with a cool head, says to me that your kid will be just fine.


    I have this horrible picture in my head of me in a business suit trying to be a grown up with a mouth full of wires. All I know is that, if it does happen, I better be gettin' that Invisalign stuff. I'm not going all metal mouth at this age!

    I'm actually fantastic about taking care of the grille. I asked my dentist why this had happened, given I'm so meticulous, and he said there was nothing I could do. It's just the way I healed after the extraction (it's apparently very common if your wisdom teeth were impacted, which mine were).
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013
  18. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    louis litt did it, so can you!

    ---

    douglas, that is horrible. has the block considered paying for a full time patrol man for a few weeks?
     
  19. Numbernine

    Numbernine Senior member

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    A good family dog and an aluminum baseball bat go a long way toward home security
     
  20. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    Thanks, d00d. Of course, it's the sort of thing that's easy to say in the abstract but harder to walk the walk.

    Yeah, pretty much what everybody else said. Not to suggest jumping into it blindly - for some people not having kids is obviously the right choice. But at least for me, if I'd waited until I was 100% positive I was "ready" to be a parent, I'd still just be LawyerGuy rather than the father of a really cool 12-year old.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2013

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