thanks gib, and yes it is. we had a really peaceful and harmonious family, with little to no real discord prior to her arrival. i hear ya, but the party we made was not exactly a "party." it was decided on, on shabbos, when we couldnt call anyone anyway. no phone use on shabbos. and it happened sunday brunch. it consisted of homemade cup cakes, and a rendition of happy birthday. the only people there were my parents, my wifes parents, and one nephew. no siblings at all. had the other siblings been there, i would have called my brother at some point on sunday to say sorry you couldnt make it. but since the whole thing was so small in nature, no siblings on either side were there, and he was out of town, honestly i didnt even think to mention it. not out of malice, i just never had the thought. as opposed to todays event, which was very malicious, and loaded with intent. whatevs, the whole thing sucks ass. hopefully it will just blow over soon enough.