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Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bergdorf Goodwill, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. Biggskip

    Biggskip Senior member

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    Wait, do I have this right, your father brought you to a brothel? Don't get me wrong, I wish my father had done something like that. I am just trying to get a sense for how awesome your father is.
     
  2. LawrenceMD

    LawrenceMD Senior member

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    its a place that you'll see the occasional senator, congressman, or mayor (in a southeast asian country) getting a haircut or shave. my dad and older brother (on separate occasions) said to me in a tongue-and-cheek kind way "do you know what's downstairs?" and showed me what was "available" downstairs when I was 16.

    fortunately I already had a girlfriend at the time and didn't partake. but I guess the option was open.

    although its a business model still in use today (even here in the US) - i have to think that this kind of set up would make you gazillions if done correctly in Nevada.

    I'm pissed that I never got into partying w/ hookers... from the looks of it, and stories from my friends and family it actually sounds like a ton of fun.
     
  3. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Probably a lot more fun in the 60's and 70's.
     
  4. samblackbones

    samblackbones Senior member

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    Only coffee I had left to make this morning was Don Francisco.
    F*ck.
     
  5. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    i apologize for the length of this post, but i think typing this out will be therapeutic for me, so bear with me.

    i have a brother who is less than 2 years younger than me, and we have always been extremely close. from the time we were just little tikes. we played sports together, shared a room, went biking together, played hookie from school together, the whole nine. he is a smart kid, but always had a hard time with authority. he can be real tough cookie, but he can also be a sweatheart, and though i experienced both firsthand, we always were able to stay close.

    when he hit his early teen years he hit a rough patch. he dropped out of HS (got a GED later), did a lot of drugs, pretty much became an alcoholic, totaled a number of cars, got carjacked and kidnapped one night (its a miracle he is a live after that one), got arrested for stealing a car, went through jobs like socks....all kinds of shit. throughout all of this we remained very close, and i was always there to give hime love, support and advise.

    at about 22 he started to get his shit together, got a new job that he liked, excelled at it and realized if he didnt clean up he would lose it. so he pulled himself together. continued to excel at the job, got a loan, bought into his company, and now he is a partner with his boss. he really made a turn around.

    soon after that he started going out with a girl. real piece of shit. serious issues, sticky fingers, compulsive manipulator... she isnt on speaking terms with her parents or siblings, and hasnt held a job for more than 6 months. but then again he had his own baggage and we hoped that she would mature as he had done. well, she didnt. and he married her anyway about 18 months ago. i dont know why, ok i do, she is attractive and she puts out, but he could have done better. i think he thought he couldnt, and that due to his past, and his rough edges he felt he might not find someone else.

    anyhow, suffice it to say this was not exactly good news. from the beginning his wife and mine did not get along, and this got worse over time to the point where they pretty much stopped talking. throughout this both my brother and i stayed out of it. it sucked that our wives hated each other, but we still did our thing.

    then about a month ago she emails my wife, basically accusing her of all kinds of shit, and demands a unilateral apology from my wife for all the shit that they have bashed heads about, and more. i told my wife under no way will she kop to her manipulation. and that even if she did, it likely wouldnt change much, besides give to give my SIL something to throw in her face later. so she didnt. my wife emailed her back saying that she feels bad that they dont get along, apologized for anything she did and that while there is more than enough blame to around she hopes they can move on and get along from here on out. this just promted another email of the SIL yelling like the cunt she is. and there it ended. or so i thought.

    apparently she was putting serious pressure on my brother about this, and the following occurred about 3 weeks ago. my brother approached me, and just unloaded. he went on about how my wife "is a raging bitch and everyone knows it." how "she is entirely at fault for all the tension with his wife." and that "i better put a fucking leash on her." it was pretty ugly. i maintained my cool. i asserted my position that there is blame all around and that again both my wife and i apologize for anything we have done. his response was, "thats bullshit, everything is your fault." i asked him point blank, why do you think its a good or productive thing to say that about someones wife to their face? his response was a very cold, "im sorry you feel that way."

    after that i got drunk off my ass, drunk dialed some SF ebros, and passed the fuck out. next morning i was really hurting from the things he said, and how he verbally assaulted my wife like that. besides some very tense hellos at family functions we have not talked since. he expects me to deliver this absurd statement accepting full blame for everything and that his wife is a victim and an angel. besides this being asinine, i would never throw my wife under the bus and blatantly disrespect her like that, nor do i understand why brother thinks that is a reasonable thing to expect me to do.

    i was reminded of this pain last night when i heard from my parents that he is staying in their house because he is doing renovations on the kitchen and bathroom in his house. were things normal, im sure he would have called me all excited about the project, already asked my advise for all kinds of shit and showed me the progress. and now i hear it through the grape vine.

    its very painful to see a relationship this important to me, and that i worked so hard on, take a nose dive, and to do so so quickly. i went from calling him almost daily and seeing him weekly to having zero contact. i miss my brother.

    CP/tl;rd - i have brother i was super close with. he married a bitch. she fucked things up. my brother wont talk to me. i miss him.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2012
  6. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    Why are people such cunts to each other?
    IS my immediate reaction is to say tellem fuckem but that's not cool. Why don't you ask your parents when your bro might be at home but his wife won't be and then slip over there with a case of beer.
     
  7. Kid Nickels

    Kid Nickels Senior member

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    it's shitty and started snowing! but nothing compared to stitchy.... sorry to hear that man.
     
  8. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    after the things he said to me, i have no interest in having a beer with him now. i cant just let the things he said slide. until he owns up to what he said, and that it was wrong, i cant pretend like it didnt happen. it doesnt sit well with me, nor do i think its fair to my wife. i think there needs to to be a significant passing of time before he will be willing to have a civil conversation about it. interpersonal relationships have never been his strong suit.

    thanks for reading the post, and your suggestion. :)


    thanks dude.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2012
  9. Douglas

    Douglas Stupid ass member

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    Dunno if it's such a great model. You come back from Vegas with a haircut, your wife knows what happened.
     
  10. Douglas

    Douglas Stupid ass member

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    stitchy, you know I :inlove: you bro, sorry to hear about your tribulations.

    if it's any consolation, your brother is being a fuckwad. i know he's pretty much come around but this shows he isn't all the way back yet. not sure what you can do about it, but don't lament like you're somehow in the wrong here.

    just try to take a step back and think through things rationally. think about the outcome you want, think about what you're willing to sacrifice in order to achieve that outcome, and act accordingly. be aware that there may be no way to achieve what you want without sacrificing more than you are prepared to sacrifice.... so there may not be a happy ending. unfortunately, as i've recently had reinforced in a few of my relationships, that's just life. some problems cannot be resolved, and broken hearts pay the price.

    i'm sorry, man.
     
  11. Kid Nickels

    Kid Nickels Senior member

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    its similar to what we were talking about before w/ respect to communication. my brother is also very reticent; he rarely speaks about things concerning him or shares his feelings. this can be difficult. I had a similar (but less severe) conversation w/ him on X-Mas (concerning his destructive gf relationship) and it was mostly me talking. But I told him it was more important to get it out there, address it and move on than to let it linger and possibly become something else and more damaging. it can be even more difficult when the more communicative party (you) expects and deserves some kind of acknowledgment and apology from one (your bro) who is not very forthcoming. having to "ask" for such an admission can make the gesture less meaningful, or unfortunately, meaningless. sucks.
     
  12. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    thanks for the <3 and thoughtful words douglas, it goes both ways. :) (inb4liekyoustitchyohsnap)

    i hope i didnt come off as showing i feel like im in the wrong. i dont feel that way at all. i just feel that is a shame that he is, as you said, a fuckwad. being a dick is not new territory for him.

    the outcome i want is to have a good relationship with him as we did before. i only see that outcome being achieved if he owns up to what he did. and can accept that it was wrong and inappropriate, and that whatever passes between our wives his behaving and speaking like that is unacceptable. if he cant do that i have a hard time seeing how this will have a happy ending any time soon, if at all.

    he is my brother, but my wife is my wife, and i will in no way sit back and allow anyone to speak like that about her, certainly not expect me to agree to it. its almost unreal that he expects me to agree with what he said. irdk what he is thinking, except that his cunt wife must be up in his grill in ways i cant imagine.

    so as of now, the sacrifice is that i will not be close to him until he mans up. i hope over time he realizes that he is the one who jeopardized the relationship, and misses our kinship, and owns up to it. until then, i sit in pain. :(

    @kn - agreed, communication is faaaaaar from a skill he has achieved at present.
     
  13. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    Stitch, I am sorry to hear you're going through this. That kind of disruption sucks terribly.
     
  14. in stitches

    in stitches Kung Joo Moderator

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    thanks thomas, much appreciated.
     

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