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The Top 10 Cars for Douchebags

Full Canvas

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Even though it is not my primary intent to do so, THIS TOP 10 LIST will undoubtedly step on a few Style Forum toes. Don't take any of this personally. Remember, the list was compiled by the douchebags at Spike TV!


The number one douchebag gets his Hummer stuck in a rather deep suburban puddle. Apologies to Kai. Well, at least his Viper was only #10. Too bad that SGladwell is not here to defend his sissy Miata. Honorable Mention went to Connemara's RTW mountain bike with the gyroscopic holder for his ever-present bottle of cheap whiskey.

Lots of douchebag photos and embedded funny videos.

O.K. Now it is time to get ready for the New Year's Eve celebration here in California.

Sample:


___
 

Artisan Fan

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LOL. Prius (sorry Marin County) and BMW. Tru dat.

I like BMW though...
 

SystemShock

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Originally Posted by Full Canvas
Even though it is not my primary intent to do so, THIS TOP 10 LIST will undoubtedly step on a few Style Forum toes. Don't take any of this personally.
LOL. Nice list.
FWIW, a friend of mine who used to work at a full-serve gas station was quizzed by me on this, i.e. "What make of car has the highest percentage of douchebag drivers?". He didn't even hesitate. Beemers. Apparently, BMW drivers are douchebags about 95% of the time. That's the ratio he gave, anyway. I can also testify that, here in the Sillycon Valley, BMW douches try to cut me off and do just plain stupid s*** around me on a daily basis. It got to the point long ago that when I saw one coming at me in the rear view mirror, I just ASSUMED they were about to do something stupid, and started driving very defensively or positioned myself to block their upcoming suicide pass in anticipation. Much of the time, that ended up being a great assumption. Driving has become much less nerve-racking for me since I learned to keep one eye on the rear-view and to pre-emptively block these sub-morons. Even the guys driving the hopped-up rice-rocket modified Civics don't act as consistently stupid. I guess they save it for the impromptu races, whereas Beemer drivers see EVERYONE as a racing opponent, even grandmas driving their ancient Lincoln Continentals to bingo.
The only quibbles I'd have with the list: - I think Miata owners who go in for the British racing green color and tan leather seats get a pass on being douches, since they're giving a shout-out to the (very cool) MG and Triumph roadsters of old. No, I do not own a Miata, if you're wondering. - Don't really see how a Prius "causes more global warming than a gas-guzzler' via the need to dispose of the batteries once their service life is over. I can see the landfill usage being a problem, if there is not a way to recycle these things, but I'm currently unaware about how a Prius battery would cause that much carbon to emit. No, I do not own a Prius, nor am I particularly fond of them. But other than that, great list. ...
 

rnoldh

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"What the hell is this thing? I'm just at a loss for what sort of person would see this car, then see its $42,000 debut MSRP and think "now that is the car-truck thing for me!"

The resale must be great on these beauties!

Drive safe and have a happy New Year!
 

Douglas

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How does the Hummer H2 make the list over the Hummer H3?

The H3 says "I'm as much of an attention whore and a gas guzzler as anyone out there, but I couldn't afford the bigger one so I had to settle for this also-ran."
 

Southern-Nupe

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Originally Posted by SystemShock
BMW douches try to cut me off and do just plain stupid s*** around me on a daily basis. It got to the point long ago that when I saw one coming at me in the rear view mirror, I just ASSUMED they were about to do something stupid, and started driving very defensively or positioned myself to block their upcoming suicide pass in anticipation.

lol!
 

bkk

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Terrible list. Where is the Jeep Wrangler? It screams "I wear a pink polo with a popped collar everywhere I go". And what about Honda Civics? If there ever were an excuse to put a huge exhaust and airplane on a car for absolutely no beneficial reason, the Civic has carved its niche in history.
 

jpeirpont

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What about all those pick up trucks driving by people that haul nothing but soccer equipment.
 

Bradford

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Sorry Audiophilia - BMW should be #1, or at the lowest #2, on this list.

Also, where is the Mercedes C Class? Especially, the "sporty" version with the big star in the grill. Says "I can't actually afford a full-size Mercedes, but I got a great lease on this one!"
 

Huntsman

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Good concept, poor execution -- the H2 is really the only one I agree with. Around here, it's the BMW 3-series and the Merc -K's that are the real abusers. Boxters not nearly as bad as Cayennes! I like Mustang drivers, usually, and Viper drivers, too. Nothing against Miatas.

~ H
 

Pink22m

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I would add the Cadillac Escalade to the list of automobiles for douchebags - especially when they are equipped with 22 inch chrome rims.
 

JoeWoah

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Anyone watch Top Gear? If you do than you know that only cocks (douchebags in 'merica talk) drive Audi's.
 

teddieriley

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Originally Posted by Bradford
Also, where is the Mercedes C Class? Especially, the "sporty" version with the big star in the grill. Says "I can't actually afford a full-size Mercedes, but I got a great lease on this one!"

There must be a specific demographic that one must associate with driving this car to qualify as being DB. My uncle has a new C-class. He is certainly not a douchebag. He is an immigrant. Yes, he cannot afford a "full-size" Mercedez, but he's worked hard all his life, and I think he should be driving a car that is nicer than a camry.
 

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