The parenting thread

[acidboy]

- talk to the kid about 'budgeting'
- thank the mother for giving the kid $4 and offer to pay it back

 

[deadly7]

Originally Posted by acidboy

- talk to the kid about 'budgeting'
- thank the mother for giving the kid $4 and offer to pay it back

+1. Make sure you do the second one asap. Even if it's just $4, it's the right gesture.

 

[globetrotter]

yeah, here is what we did - as soon as he told me, I told him that he had to pay her back, with interest - we pay him interest on his money that we hold in the back, so I figured that he had to pay interest on money that he borrowed, even for one day.

then, I talked to him about budgeting.

then, I set out all the stuff he bought, and we talked about how many days of allowance each piece cost him.

but, here is the catch - talking to the friends mother, it turns out that what happened was that he was trying to figure out if he could afford the stuff he wanted, so she offered to make up the difference - which was 40 cents, not 4 bucks. so, we had another discussion about budgeting, told him it still wasn't good, but that it was better than before. and the mother will buy him a hotdog next playdate with the 5 bucks.

I just thought that it was an interesting question. thanks

 

[Geoff Gander]

Originally Posted by deadly7

OP: Why don't you talk to your kid? Why does he think he's "stupid" and that what he did was the best he can do? ".

^^^ This

If your son thinks he's stupid, there's something else going on at school that you need to be looking into.

As for the Wii, personally I wouldn't give him one right now, but hold it out as a reward if he improves his grades and sustains them throughout the year.

 

[Geoff Gander]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

there is a difference between learning, doing well in school and curiosity. frankly, I don't think that my kid learns anything (specific) of importance in school, what he does learn is how to follow rules and instructions, apply himself to what the people in charge of him want from him, and conform. he learns a lot of other stuff at home.

+100

I'm with Robert Anton Wilson on the subject of schools - in his view, they were instruments of social conditioning, with "education" (i.e., learning what the Ministry of Thoug...err, Education wanted you to learn) added more or less as an afterthought.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

yeah, here is what we did - as soon as he told me, I told him that he had to pay her back, with interest - we pay him interest on his money that we hold in the back, so I figured that he had to pay interest on money that he borrowed, even for one day.

then, I talked to him about budgeting.

then, I set out all the stuff he bought, and we talked about how many days of allowance each piece cost him.

but, here is the catch - talking to the friends mother, it turns out that what happened was that he was trying to figure out if he could afford the stuff he wanted, so she offered to make up the difference - which was 40 cents, not 4 bucks. so, we had another discussion about budgeting, told him it still wasn't good, but that it was better than before. and the mother will buy him a hotdog next playdate with the 5 bucks.

I just thought that it was an interesting question. thanks


good call, zach... reading that made me realize I have to start talking to my just-turned-8 year old about budgeting and being responsible with money... and I know I'm late.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

Originally Posted by acidboy

..and I know I'm late.
That's what she said. In all seriousness, how important is having a father figure in a young girl's life? I hear the term "daddy" issues thrown around but what does it really mean? General distrust of men?

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

That's what she said.

In all seriousness, how important is having a father figure in a young girl's life? I hear the term "daddy" issues thrown around but what does it really mean? General distrust of men?

very important

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

That's what she said.

In all seriousness, how important is having a father figure in a young girl's life? I hear the term "daddy" issues thrown around but what does it really mean? General distrust of men?

 

[XeF4]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

That's what she said. In all seriousness, how important is having a father figure in a young girl's life? I hear the term "daddy" issues thrown around but what does it really mean? General distrust of men?
Broken preception of relationships due to dead beat dad who fucked up on being a father.

 

[NorCal]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

ok, next question -

your kid goes on a playdate with a friends family to lunch and then walk around chinatown. you give him 10 dollars from his savings to spend.

he comes home, and says that he ran out of money and asked his friends mother for more money to buy an additional knicknack, spending a total of 14 dollars - so he tells you that he took 4 bucks from the mother.


what do you do?

Make him pay her back. Make him earn the 4$ doing some small but meaningful work.

It would also depend on their relationship and how often if ever you give their kid money/toys. If you have a close relationship that might not be that strange, if he is working her he needs to be set straight.
I don't think it's wrong to accept gifts from other peoples parents but kids need to learn boundaries and not to take advantage of another's generosity.

I had a similar situation recently.
My 10 year old boy came back from spending the weekend with my brother and his wife and had a new (small) lego toy. He told me she bought it for him. At first I was kind of pissed as I had given him money and wanted to make sure he had not manipulated the situation to end up in that particular toy store. After some reflection and clarification I just let it go, I don't think he had done anything wrong and I buy her kids things from time to time as well.

 

[acidboy]

okay here's a new one:

was talking to a good friend of mine the other day. school here's about to end and his 10 year old daughter, who studies in the same girls school as my daughter, invited her class to their house on the last day of school.

a big part of her invite list told her that if this classmate of theirs is coming, then they're not. this classmate is close to my friend's daughter, actually- that girl's dad is a friend of mine too. think they find this girl 'bossy' according to my friend. so my friend's daughter cannot decide on what to do. jeesh... never realize they become catty at such an early age...

 

[Gutman]

don't let your friend indulge that sort of manipulation... a class invite is a class invite.

 

[cross22]

Originally Posted by acidboy

okay here's a new one:

was talking to a good friend of mine the other day. school here's about to end and his 10 year old daughter, who studies in the same girls school as my daughter, invited her class to their house on the last day of school.

a big part of her invite list told her that if this classmate of theirs is coming, then they're not. this classmate is close to my friend's daughter, actually- that girl's dad is a friend of mine too. think they find this girl 'bossy' according to my friend. so my friend's daughter cannot decide on what to do. jeesh... never realize they become catty at such an early age...

10 years old? Have the mom phone the other moms...

 

[acidboy]

and say what?