Hey Alter, I'm a teacher working a few minutes away from the statue in your avatar. Small world!
I don't have any children nor any advice... just sayin' hi!
Hey Neighbour! I am living just a bit west of there...near the bridge.
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Hey Alter, I'm a teacher working a few minutes away from the statue in your avatar. Small world!
I love these threads where the non-parents of SF tell the parents what to do.
The crying was more from the surprise that I was angry. I did talk to him and he said that the reason he cried was because he thought that getting 5 "Greats" was better than last term. He thought he only had 3 last time.
You are treating your son like a business problem. That is cold, and he will end up resenting you, doing worse the next time just to piss you off. You need to act like a Dad, not a project manager. He comes to you looking for a 'rise' for doing well, and you say it's not good enough. Sounds to me like he doesn't get much one-on -one time with you and that you have bought him off before with gifts. Start doing things with him that don't offer tangible rewards, just time and company, then you will see increased production from your little weekend project.
You are treating your son like a business problem. That is cold, and he will end up resenting you, doing worse the next time just to piss you off. You need to act like a Dad, not a project manager. He comes to you looking for a 'rise' for doing well, and you say it's not good enough. Sounds to me like he doesn't get much one-on -one time with you and that you have bought him off before with gifts. Start doing things with him that don't offer tangible rewards, just time and company, then you will see increased production from your little weekend project.
a kid is a business project - a father is in the business of raising his kids. it is the most important project of his life.
Yes, I do. I would not have been so presumptuous as to write without experience. I am sorry if it appeared a little snarky, but your predicament mirrors my own childhood, which I managed to avoid repeating, when raising my own kids. I know we guys are task driven, but raising kids is more than a 'project'.
Another parent here--I would definitely not connect the Wii to grades, epecially for an 8 year old. In my experience rewards are de-motivating and a slippery slope as others have said. He has many more years of school, and it's best if he learns to do well because he wants to, either because he enjoys what he's doing or because he values good grades.
The wii is not really an issue....it was a momentary request. He actually is saving up to buy himself a DS. He already has one to use but it is officially my wife's DS and he has to ask to borrow it if he wants to use it. He wants one of his own so he started saving up for it. This was all his own idea...and I think it is great.
there is a difference between learning, doing well in school and curiosity. frankly, I don't think that my kid learns anything (specific) of importance in school, what he does learn is how to follow rules and instructions, apply himself to what the people in charge of him want from him, and conform. he learns a lot of other stuff at home.
school isn't about learning facts, it is about preparing for life. you learn to deal with not very bright authority figures, you learn to deal with a group of randomly selected teammates of various abilities. you have to do projects assigned to you by the authority figures and cooperate with your team mates in doing so. you might, if you are lucky, have to negotiate with a bully on the way.
oh, I think that the school my son is in is about the best there is, I have nothing against his school. there are probably a couple of private schools in the greater chicago area that are better, but the overall package would be worse - insanely expensive, full of kids who are so much richer than my kid that it would put him in a position of disadvantage, less diversity.
Another parent here--I would definitely not connect the Wii to grades, epecially for an 8 year old. In my experience rewards are de-motivating and a slippery slope as others have said. He has many more years of school, and it's best if he learns to do well because he wants to, either because he enjoys what he's doing or because he values good grades.
If he is having attention problems, you need to stop him using television and computer games. Lego build blocks, Meccano, even building a bloody big train set with him. When imagination is fired, concentration follows. My kid had similar problems, so we as a family ditched the brain sucking box, and within weeks there was an improvement. It only works if you do it as a family, otherwise you will walk all over his sense of justice, which in kids is always black and white. Give him fish oil every day around 500 to 1000 mg, and walk the legs off the wee bugger. A contact sport like taekwondo etc is also good for concentration and co-ordination, and is useful when the other kids find out that he doesn't watch telly! Also sit with him when he does his homework. Kids learn by example. we had our boy trested at eleven by an educational psychologist, three years after finding out about his 'attention problem' and were very pleased that he was found to have the vocabulary of a 16/17 year old. Join your local library, and above all do things as a family. Thats all I can say.