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The meaning of RSVP

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Fabienne, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    You cheapos. When I throw a party I make sure I have enough booze and food for at least three times the people I've invited - just in case they bring friends, room mates, lovers, pets, elephants, fuck - whatever the hell they want. Therefore, I don't have to worry about whether someone shows up or not. It's a party - act like it.
    I thought RSVP was only if you were coming, would be courteous to let them know if you aren't going though too. This is why I always say to let me know if you are _not_ coming as well. When I phrase this I get a few more responses. I think with important events like weddings people are more considerate (maybe I'm wrong). But for just a get together, I tag each person down by phone. My closest friends let me know, the other people "get back to me" which usually means they dont want to come and can't think of an excuse. Whenever I have invited foreigners, especially females, they always say they will come but almost never show because they overbook their weekends I'm sure. Americans seem to be more reliable once you are able to get a commitment of some sort out of them. In any case, unless it is a formal event with a large amount of place settings like a wedding where I am paying per seat, I have enough booze and snacks to get a small army drunk, so it really doesn't matter. The only thing I worry about is that not enough people will show up.
     


  2. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

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    In any case, unless it is a formal event with a large amount of place settings like a wedding where I am paying per seat, I have enough booze and snacks to get a small army drunk, so it really doesn't matter. The only thing I worry about is that not enough people will show up.

    Good man. That's what I'm talking about.

    For you guys that need to know exactly how many people are coming so that you know exactly how much ravioli to make, what happens if a few people with hearty appetites come and want to eat more? Do you just restrict them to a piece of ravioli?

    Also, another thing I've noticed. I was born outside of America and moved here at a very young age. When I would go to friends' houses from school and they would ask me if I wanted a drink of soda, they would always only fill the cup halfway. What kind of bullshit is that? Fill the damn cup up all the way. This was without fail at every friend's house. Where I come from, it's insulting if the host doesn't fill your cup all the way with juice or soda (obviously wine or spirits are different).
     


  3. Fabienne

    Fabienne Senior member

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    Double post.
     


  4. Fabienne

    Fabienne Senior member

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    Also, another thing I've noticed. I was born outside of America and moved here at a very young age. When I would go to friends' houses from school and they would ask me if I wanted a drink of soda, they would always only fill the cup halfway. What kind of bullshit is that? Fill the damn cup up all the way. This was without fail at every friend's house. Where I come from, it's insulting if the host doesn't fill your cup all the way with juice or soda (obviously wine or spirits are different).


    This is America: they were allowing you room for ice. [​IMG]
     


  5. Fabienne

    Fabienne Senior member

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    For the record, nobody has ever gone hungry at my house, and there has never been a lack of drinks. In this case, I can circumvent the food offerings, however, as previously mentioned, this is not solely a party, there are other considerations. Nevertheless, I requested a response, I probably have my reasons. Next thing I know, I will be blamed for having invited people?
     


  6. Kent Wang

    Kent Wang Affiliate Vendor Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    Fill the damn cup up all the way. This was without fail at every friend's house.
    I've noticed that too. Maybe they don't want you to spill.
     


  7. RJman

    RJman Posse Member Dubiously Honored

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    Um, Fab, didn't get my invite. Didn't want to say it earlier. 's OK. I know where you live. [​IMG]
     


  8. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    I've noticed that too. Maybe they don't want you to spill.
    That's certainly what's going on when I give glasses of juice to my daughter's friends. Plus, (1) I know that I'm clumsy as hell, and if I fill it halfway I'm less liable to end up spilling all over the recipient; (2) I hate waste, and with kids in particular there's a good chance they'll take one sip and then forget about the drink - I'd rather make three trips back and forth to the kitchen to fill their glasses for them again than end up pouring 5/6 of a glass of juice down the drain.
    Given her obvious graciousness and generosity as a hostess, I nominate Fabienne to host the next national SF dinner party.
     


  9. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

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    (2) I hate waste, and with kids in particular there's a good chance they'll take one sip and then forget about the drink - I'd rather make three trips back and forth to the kitchen to fill their glasses for them again than end up pouring 5/6 of a glass of juice down the drain.

    This is all well and good if you automatically refill the cup when it's empty without the kid asking. However, it's a problem when you wait for the kid to ask. The way I was raised, you're not supposed to ask for anything when you're a guest at someone's house (and it's polite to refuse the first time you are offered anything as well). So, a lot of the time, I would basically get a half cup of soda for the entire day.

    But, I mean, a 2 liter bottle of soda costs what, as little as $0.99 - is it really that big of a deal if you have to spill some of it out?
     


  10. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

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    But, I mean, a 2 liter bottle of soda costs what, as little as $0.99 - is it really that big of a deal if you have to spill some of it out?

    I don't think the primary concern here is the loss of soda.
     


  11. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    But, I mean, a 2 liter bottle of soda costs what, as little as $0.99 - is it really that big of a deal if you have to spill some of it out?

    Dude, I'm part Scottish. It's always a big deal. (I'm half-kidding, but only half. Plus we don't do soda at our house, so we've probably paid at least 2.99 for the fancy organic juice, or I've invested sweat equity in squeezing the damn oranges or lemons myself. [​IMG] What really pisses me off is when one of the little tykes pops open one of my beers and then don't finish the damn thing . . . )
    Buy I agree with you about the refill thing. I think I'm pretty conscientious about checking in with the kids about whether everyone got enough, is anyone still thirsty, whatever - we do want them to be comfortable, and you're right that as a kid it can be awkward to ask for things at someone else's house. Pouring a kid 2 ounces of juice or soda and then making him feel like he's imposing if that's not enough is lame.
     


  12. denimdestroyedmylife

    denimdestroyedmylife Big Winner

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    "failure to respond may result in death or serious injury")
    I am definitely putting FRMRDSI on my next invite. [​IMG]
     


  13. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

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    I don't think the primary concern here is the loss of soda.

    Not to press the issue, but he did say "I hate waste" and he did talk about pouring 5/6 of it down the drain.

    Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]
     


  14. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]

    Trust me, my daughter has made that point to me repeatedly and passionately. Clearly I'm a mean, mean daddy.
     


  15. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

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    Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]


    Agreed on both counts. There's also a difference between serving adults and serving children.

    Sorry if my original response was a bit flip.
     


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