1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

The meaning of RSVP

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Fabienne, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

    Messages:
    21,825
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006

    But, I mean, a 2 liter bottle of soda costs what, as little as $0.99 - is it really that big of a deal if you have to spill some of it out?

    Dude, I'm part Scottish. It's always a big deal. (I'm half-kidding, but only half. Plus we don't do soda at our house, so we've probably paid at least 2.99 for the fancy organic juice, or I've invested sweat equity in squeezing the damn oranges or lemons myself. [​IMG] What really pisses me off is when one of the little tykes pops open one of my beers and then don't finish the damn thing . . . )
    Buy I agree with you about the refill thing. I think I'm pretty conscientious about checking in with the kids about whether everyone got enough, is anyone still thirsty, whatever - we do want them to be comfortable, and you're right that as a kid it can be awkward to ask for things at someone else's house. Pouring a kid 2 ounces of juice or soda and then making him feel like he's imposing if that's not enough is lame.
     
  2. denimdestroyedmylife

    denimdestroyedmylife Senior member

    Messages:
    4,649
    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2006
    "failure to respond may result in death or serious injury")
    I am definitely putting FRMRDSI on my next invite. [​IMG]
     
  3. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

    Messages:
    8,739
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Elizabethtown
    I don't think the primary concern here is the loss of soda.

    Not to press the issue, but he did say "I hate waste" and he did talk about pouring 5/6 of it down the drain.

    Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]
     
  4. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

    Messages:
    21,825
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]

    Trust me, my daughter has made that point to me repeatedly and passionately. Clearly I'm a mean, mean daddy.
     
  5. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

    Messages:
    2,281
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]


    Agreed on both counts. There's also a difference between serving adults and serving children.

    Sorry if my original response was a bit flip.
     
  6. ron

    ron Active Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Interesting post. I think a lot of people do not realize that RSVP means to also reply when not planning to attend. But this is irrelevant in my mind. To be invited to an event with RSVP and to show up after not contacting the host is extremely bad manners. I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.
     
  7. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

    Messages:
    2,281
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.

    This seems an incredibly unlikely scenario for most people (no matter how annoyed we might be by our guest's thoughtlessness). Much better would be to wait for that person to have a party and then just show up without RSVPing.
     
  8. drizzt3117

    drizzt3117 Senior member

    Messages:
    13,141
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    Interesting post. I think a lot of people do not realize that RSVP means to also reply when not planning to attend. But this is irrelevant in my mind. To be invited to an event with RSVP and to show up after not contacting the host is extremely bad manners. I would be compelled to kindly explain to these guests how happy I am to see them but unfortunately I did not receive an RSVP from them for this event and therefore must regrettably ask that they leave.

    Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP.

    Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)
     
  9. JBZ

    JBZ Senior member

    Messages:
    2,281
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2003
    Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP.

    Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)


    Regardless of the literal interpretation, my understanding of RSVP has always been to inform your host whether or not you will be attending.
     
  10. ron

    ron Active Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Wow, I think that would more or less obviate them ever coming to an event that you'll host again. This may eventually eliminate your RSVP issue, no guests = no need to RSVP. Also, RSVP doesn't mean to reply if you don't want to attend, as was pointed out earlier, it literally means, reply, if you want. If you want to make it perfectly clear, and you're sending out formal invitations, then include a SASE and a piece of paper with check boxes that say (yes i will be coming, no i won't be coming) and you'll have much more clarity (although potentially no more responses heh)
    Actually, this is what it means (according to many people): If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation. If you'd like to read the entire article: http://entertaining.about.com/cs/eti.../tip122500.htm
     
  11. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

    Messages:
    21,825
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Regardless of the literal interpretation, my understanding of RSVP has always been to inform your host whether or not you will be attending.
    Same here. I think it is unlikely that the majority of people - at least in America - who do not respond to an RSVP request have been misled by an overly-literal misreading of the the French phrase for which RSVP is an abbreviation.
     
  12. ron

    ron Active Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    This seems an incredibly unlikely scenario for most people (no matter how annoyed we might be by our guest's thoughtlessness). Much better would be to wait for that person to have a party and then just show up without RSVPing.
    I agree it would be harsh. I did say compelled. I would most likely make sure they were aware of my surprise at seeing them since they did not RSVP.
     
  13. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

    Messages:
    2,581
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2006
    [arrgh -- see below]
     
  14. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

    Messages:
    2,581
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2006
    Same here. I think it is unlikely that the majority of people - at least in America - who do not respond to an RSVP request have been misled by an overly-literal misreading of the the French phrase for which RSVP is an abbreviation.

    It never occurred to me that people would interpret "s'il vous plait" as anything other than "please". I would have thought that most people know enough casual French to know better than to interpret it as "if you want".
     
  15. drizzt3117

    drizzt3117 Senior member

    Messages:
    13,141
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    Actually, this is what it means (according to many people):

    If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

    If you'd like to read the entire article: http://entertaining.about.com/cs/eti.../tip122500.htm


    My response had two parts, the first discussing the literal translation of RSVP, and the second proposing possible strategies for having better success at obtaining RSVPs.

    I agree that people probably aren't misintrepreting the phrase and not responding, but as others have mentioned, if you want people to do something, it makes sense to make it perfectly clear, at least IMO.
     
  16. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

    Messages:
    8,739
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Elizabethtown
    All this confusion over what RSVP actually means, on whether to use the literal or the casual translation, would be eliminated if we just wrote our invitations in American.
     
  17. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

    Messages:
    20,605
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Location:
    greater chicago
    Not to press the issue, but he did say "I hate waste" and he did talk about pouring 5/6 of it down the drain.

    Anyway, yeah, spilling is probably a concern, so what I would say is, if you're only going to pour half a cup, at least check in every now and then and ask if anyone wants some more (which I'm sure many people do, but then again, many people do not).

    And ld, kids don't like organic oj, they like SODA [​IMG]



    kids in my house get little juice boxes. no soda for kids in my house, and if they don't finish the damn box they better not expect to get anymore next time they visit- there are kids in Africa who would kill for a damn juice box.
     
  18. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

    Messages:
    2,581
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2006
    Um, I'm like, having a party?
    You coming?
    Call my cell. K?
     
  19. odoreater

    odoreater Senior member

    Messages:
    8,739
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Elizabethtown
    kids in my house get little juice boxes. no soda for kids in my house, and if they don't finish the damn box they better not expect to get anymore next time they visit- there are kids in Africa who would kill for a damn juice box.

    Why's everyone assuming I'm talking about 6 year olds? What I said was happening right through high school. I think high schoolers can handle soda - heck, I think they can even handle a full cup of soda.



    EDIT: By the way, I nominate this thread as one of the most absurd conversations we've ever had on styleforum.
     
  20. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

    Messages:
    9,791
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    By the way, I nominate this thread as one of the most absurd conversations we've ever had on styleforum.

    Doesn't top this gem:

    http://www.styleforum.net/showthread...=cleaning+lady

    Back to the original topic: This semantic dispute can be avoided by saying, "The courtesy of a response is appreciated by <DATE>."
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by