The meaning of RSVP

[gamelan]

Originally Posted by odoreater

Wait a minute, I thought the whole point of "RSVP" was that you only have to respond if you want to. If it literally means "respond, if it pleases you" or "respond, if you please," what if it doesn't please me to respond or if I don't please to respond?

If you really want everyone to respond, don't ask in such a weak, french, way (i.e., "respond, if you please"), ask in a tough American way (e.g., "a response is mandatory" or "failure to respond will result in legal action" or "failure to respond may result in death or serious injury").

Come on people, get with the program here.

nice!

-Jeff

 

[Fabienne]

Originally Posted by Kent Wang

It is somewhat redundant to say 'RSVP please'.

You could enforce the RSVP by only sending directions to those that do.

Kind of like "DÃ

jà vu all over again".

Good idea, about the directions, but they know where we live.

 

[Fabienne]

Good one, Odoreater.

We're hosting an event on Friday night, not a party per se, and only half of the invitees have answered by the RSVP date we had set (Monday the 16th)

I thought for a minute perhaps the use of RSVP this time around was the cause of this.

It's a little bit bothersome for the planning, as it might mean 20 people, but then again also as many as 45.

 

[drax]

Fabienne's question is interesting.
I think most people get that RSVP does not mean 'respond if you can be bothered'. It means Please Respond. Period. (ie whether youre coming or not). The real problem however (and i dont think its any worse in US than anywhere else) is that most people know what RSVP means but hardly any of them bother do anything about it. I think the reason for this is that were are increasingly lazy about comitting to something. We just want to go with the flow, suck it and see etc etc.
Bottom line is if someone has put it on an invite, you should 1) decide if youre going and 2) tell them.
So we should all pull our socks up.
Merci.

 

[Fabienne]

I went ahead and contacted a portion of those who had not answered, today. Mostly close friends. Upon being asked: "So, will you make an appearance on Friday evening?", I got the following answers:

"Got it on my calendar."
"Sure, we won't be able to stay long, but we wouldn't want to miss this."
"You bet."
"Sorry, I didn't read your message carefully. I have to study for exams blablabla."

 

[Kent Wang]

Originally Posted by drax

Fabienne's question is interesting. I think the reason for this is that were are increasingly lazy about comitting to something. We just want to go with the flow, suck it and see etc etc. Bottom line is if someone has put it on an invite, you should 1) decide if youre going and 2) tell them.
It is sad that people are not serious about recreation. Partying is serious business.

 

[faustian bargain]

Originally Posted by Fabienne

I went ahead and contacted a portion of those who had not answered, today. Mostly close friends. Upon being asked: "So, will you make an appearance on Friday evening?", I got the following answers: "Got it on my calendar." "Sure, we won't be able to stay long, but we wouldn't want to miss this." "You bet." "Sorry, I didn't read your message carefully. I have to study for exams blablabla."

oh yeah. those friends have got your back, for sure.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by Kent Wang

It is sad that people are not serious about recreation. Partying is serious business.

Yeah, planning an event, and arranging for booze, and food, and entertainment, is such a joy that we do it every weekend just for those who deign to favor us with their company, however fleeting. Arrg.

People who won't RSVP should be forced to host the next one and see how they like it.

 

[JBZ]

Originally Posted by Thomas

Yeah, planning an event, and arranging for booze, and food, and entertainment, is such a joy that we do it every weekend just for those who deign to favor us with their company, however fleeting. Arrg.

People who won't RSVP should be forced to host the next one and see how they like it.

Agreed. It's different from when you're in college where everyone just throws in $10 for a few kegs and some munchies. Private parties, be they catered or not, cost a significant amount of money and/or "sweat equity" to host. If the host asks you for an RSVP, the least you can do is take 10 seconds out of your day and respond. This has become particularly easy now that just about everyone has email access. I remember having to chase down about a dozen people the week before my wedding who just never bothered to let us know if they were coming.

 

[drizzt3117]

evite ftw

 

[odoreater]

You cheapos. When I throw a party I make sure I have enough booze and food for at least three times the people I've invited - just in case they bring friends, room mates, lovers, pets, elephants, **** - whatever the hell they want. Therefore, I don't have to worry about whether someone shows up or not. It's a party - act like it.

 

[lawyerdad]

 

[Mute]

I know nothing. I'm just some dumb American-Asian redneck.

 

[Bradford]

Fabienne -

Unfortunately, I don't think you are alone in your experience.

I've seen a lot of articles recently that people do not know how to RSVP properly or just don't bother to do so.

We had much the same experience for my son's 3rd birthday party this summer.

It seems the only way to get an accurate headcount is to call everyone you've invited and get a direct answer as to whether or not they are planning to be in attendance. Even then, some will show up anyways and others just won't show without any explanation.

I would say it's just part of the general coarsening of our society.

 

[Huntsman]

The issue of 'if you please' is merely a courteous way of phrasing a requirement. I never thought to look at it literally, which may be odd.

I don't understand why people don't understand that having a clue how many will be in attendence is critical. When I am entertaining, the food, the wine, everything, is the best I can do (and afford). Having to buy 3x as much truffles, or artisanal cheese, or really good bread as a hedge is impractical and wasteful. Not to mention the loss of time, which would be staggering if you are making ravioli, adorable little tartlets or other labour-intensive items.

However I have come to the conclusion that going smaller and including the nearest and dearest is more fulfilling. Not always an option, of course.

Regards,
Huntsman