The little horrors in life

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Eason, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. alexanduh

    alexanduh Senior member

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    Waking up, hitting the snooze, and then dreaming that you get up, shower, get dressed and drive to work. Then waking up and realizing you have to do the whole thing again.

    +1 that was an eventful morning.
     


  2. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    Getting food poisoning, shitting yourself at work, running out to drive home before anyone notices, getting in an accident on the way home, standing waiting for cop to finish while alternately (1) dry heaving and (2) feeling the shit dry up on your leg.

    Yes, this actually happened.


    Jeezus, that's terrible.
     


  3. jimmyfingers

    jimmyfingers Senior member

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    Pissing at a bar in urinals w/o dividers next to some sloppy fat fuck and getting sprayed by his urine as it bounces off the urinal.
     


  4. APK

    APK Senior member

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    Having to fill up with gas. I fucking hate it.

    This, my god, this. It takes, what, three minutes? I still have to almost have the low fuel light to come on before I can force myself into a gas station parking lot. This is even worse when it's winter and there's a semi-legitimate reason why you wouldn't want to stand outside of your car.
     


  5. Geoffrey Firmin

    Geoffrey Firmin Senior member

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    The second you realize you didn't fart, but you have diarrhea.


    LOL

    Nearly as good as a temperamental 16 year old boy and your not allowed to use your cattle prod.
     


  6. gamelan

    gamelan Senior member

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    holding onto the toilet seat for dear life after having a little too much to drink the previous night.

    feelings for someone that aren't reciprocated. yeah yeah yeah....[​IMG] fuck off. let me enjoy my misery.

    stupid people. you know who you are.

    -Jeff
     


  7. dcg

    dcg Senior member

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    stupid people. you know who you are.

    -Jeff


    Most of them don't, though, and that's a big part of the problem.
     


  8. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    Most of them don't, though, and that's a big part of the problem.

    +1
     


  9. mr.orange

    mr.orange Senior member

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    IDing an army captain/colonel/general in uniform.

    Finding out one of your favorite shirts is dirty and you have to wear something off the "backup" drawer.
     


  10. mr.orange

    mr.orange Senior member

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    Trying to search an ex girlfriend's name in Facebook while using your smartphone and accidentally putting her name down as a status update. Then realizing you can't delete an update from your phone. [​IMG]

    I've had a few close encounters but nothing like this lol.

    People walking just slow enough to piss you off, but too fast that you'll have to speed up to overtake them.

    Sometimes speeding past them works but other times you can't and then you have to make small talk. ugh I hate small talk!

    Letting your GF use your mobile for something whilst praying the whole time she has it in her hands that no texts come through from that little hottie you've been texting on the sly.

    [​IMG]


    keep on pimpin' brotha


    -accidentally invading your co-worker's "personal space"
    -ending a conversation with someone you don't really want to talk to
    -having a stiffy and knowing you have to get up in front of people
     


  11. TeeKay

    TeeKay Senior member

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    When you go to a bar and order a scotch and the waitress brings you a glass filled to the rim with ice with a lemon wedge in it. [​IMG]
     


  12. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    Realizing you left your wallet on the train just as its doors shut and it moves on to the next stop.
     


  13. dissapointedengineer

    dissapointedengineer Active Member

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    -the 60 second walk from my car to the confrence room the third wednesday of every month when i'm contractually obligated to conduct a meeting on a $24 million construction project b/n the worst contractor in the state and the owner who hates them slightly less than i do.

    -calling a contractor to inform them they have been overpaid due to a bust in the plans because they were not properly backchecked by the designer.

    -whenever OSHA shows up on the job. especially in this economy.
     


  14. origenesprit

    origenesprit Senior member

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    using a public toilet and only noticing the lack of TP when you're already committed.

    I recently had this happen to me in the middle of floor-toilet outhouse in Albania. I had to wipe my ass with a damp newspaper I found, and am probably now HIV positive. [​IMG]

    Also, peeing, thinking you're done, putting your dick back in your underwear, and then releasing a bit more.
     


  15. munchausen

    munchausen Senior member

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    Also, peeing, thinking you're done, putting your dick back in your underwear, and then releasing a bit more.


    This seriously sucks . Somehow I only happens when I'm not wearing dark pants, too...
     


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