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The little horrors in life

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Eason, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. munchausen

    munchausen Senior member

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    having two cups of soda in your car, one diet and one sugary, both tip over into your floorboard. One of them doesn't spill and the other goes all over the place. Care to guess which one?
     


  2. gnatty8

    gnatty8 Senior member

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    Closing a document you've spent hours editing and accidentally choosing "do not save"

    [​IMG]

    Settling in for a nice shit at the office men's room, only to have the resident rotten-guts come barging into the next stall to unload a fetid spray of egg mcmuffin

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     


  3. TC (Houston)

    TC (Houston) Senior member

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    Poops where you will find residue on the TP no matter how many times you wipe, forcing you to ultimately give up.

    Aka, the "eversharp".
     


  4. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    slow fucking driver in front of you, who's too dense to get out of the way. mother fucker.
     


  5. willpower

    willpower Senior member

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    slow fucking driver in front of you, who's too dense to get out of the way. mother fucker.
    Or the guy in front of you who is too distracted/dense to see the light has changed to green. The moment you honk, he notices and drives through while it is yellow. The bastard made it through and you're stuck once again at the red.
     


  6. TeeKay

    TeeKay Senior member

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    So how the hell do you get period blood stains out of white sheets. Damnit. [​IMG]
     


  7. RSS

    RSS Senior member

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    So how the hell do you get period blood stains out of white sheets. Damnit. [​IMG]
    Too bad Bill Paley isn't still alive, you could ask.
     


  8. Bohe

    Bohe Member

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    People walking just slow enough to piss you off, but too fast that you'll have to speed up to overtake them.
     


  9. BDC2823

    BDC2823 Senior member

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    when you flush a toilet with a normal sized shit, and normal amount of toilet paper, but there is a perfect storm of awkward flush physics that still results in a semi clog.

    You stare at the steady rise of water until it hits the bottom of the rim in total horror.... and then by the grace of God it slowly starts spiraling back down.

    this horror is multiplied exponentially when it happens at someone else's house.


    I had a similar terrifying moment once. I went with my best friend up to Washington for his families once a year family reunion. We were at his uncles house and I had just met everyone. After he had used the restroom I went in. It was a small restroom with hardwood floors situated next to the living room.

    I checked the toilet and everything looked normal. So I proceed to take a piss. No shit, no tp, just a piss. I flush and the water level starts rising. I don't know what the fuck is happening, but it's almost to the rim now. I'm frantically looking around and trying to think of how to stop this damn thing, praying that I hear that magical calmness from the toilet telling me that the water level has reached is peak. No such luck. Water pours out of the toilet all over the floor. A lot of water. The floor is soaked.

    I rush out and find my friend. I tell him what's going on and he starts laughing. He finds his uncle so we can get a towel and his uncle is cool with the situation. We clean up and my friend feels the need to make jokes about it the whole trip. I found out that he took a shit beforehand so his shit must have clogged the piped internally. I was the unlucky sap that took a piss afterwards and the subsequent flush caused all hell to break loose.
     


  10. dusty

    dusty Senior member

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    Lifting something you think is heavy but in fact it's light. The Cognitive Dissonance is incapacitating.

    I'm glad this isn't just me.
     


  11. cretaceous_cretin

    cretaceous_cretin Senior member

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    Stepping in dog poop barefoot, and realizing you neglected to clean it up. Doh!
     


  12. Rosenberg

    Rosenberg Senior member

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    How does this even happen?

    I was wondering this about the shampoo in the pee pee hole
     


  13. willpower

    willpower Senior member

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    I was wondering this about the shampoo in the pee pee hole

    You've never squeezed one off in the shower? The smallest bit of shampoo or soap on your hand can be the source of excruiating stinging.
     


  14. Rosenberg

    Rosenberg Senior member

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    You've never squeezed one off in the shower? The smallest bit of shampoo or soap on your hand can be the source of excruiating stinging.

    Oh, that part would have helped explain it a little better. I thought you meant you were just standing there and somehow shampoo made its way into your wang
     


  15. Pilot

    Pilot Senior member

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    Waking up and not knowing what time it is/where you are for about 3 seconds, freaking out because you're thinking you're late for class/work/ meetings, then realizing it's still early, you breathe a sign of relief and your head hits the pillow again. Can't think of a more intense emotional experience that can happen in that short amount of time.
     


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