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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Eason, Jun 8, 2011.
I thought this thread was going to be about little children.
Poops where you will find residue on the TP no matter how many times you wipe, forcing you to ultimately give up.
trying to cut off a piece of clear tape and you can't fucking find the tip of the tape plus your fingernails are freshly trimmed
What the fuck is this, anyway? I swear to god some some tape rolls THERE IS NO END, it's just a sick joke.
The second you realize you didn't fart, but you have diarrhea.
Getting up early for work its like a daily horror thing when we have work
your tip doesn't come immediately open and sends 2 sprays of piss out either side across the bathroom.
Burnt tongue / roof of mouth
Almost sneezing, but a second before it happens the sensation goes away
Pulling a nose hair and all of a sudden you realize it's connected to your optic nerve...
Trying to pop an unripe zit and creating a wound on your face that's much more noticeable than the zit itself.
A bad haircut
wait - cuddling doesn't produce children. If it did, though, they would probably be half-kwilk, half-pillow.
By his own admission, kwilk is half-pillow.
Paper cuts. From a cardboard box.
Getting stuck behind slow walkers when you're in a fiendish hurry.
Having something jammed uncomfortably between your teeth when you're in too polite of company to dig it out (if it's even possible)
Buying something that appears on sale the next week.
Walking downstairs at 5:00AM to take the dog out and then make a cup of tea. Coming back inside, kicking off your slippers, walking barefooted towards your easy chair with a hot cup of tea and stepping into dogshit.
Waking up on a work morning and realizing the best thing that could reasonably happen in your life is you will have 20 more years of this exact same shitty routine, putting up with the exact same and predictable petty shit for 20 more years, and have to deal with an ever changing cast of idiots that are all predictably the same for the next 20 years.
And that's if your life works out as well as you can reasonably expect.
Burnt tongue / roof of mouth
Had this happen recently. Too small to complain about to your friends but enough to make meals less enjoyable for several days. Also, chewing too fast and biting the inside of your lip or cheek. not because of the initial pain, but because you know it's going to bother you for weeks afterwards
Closing a document you've spent hours editing and accidentally choosing "do not save"
Windows Operating System
baby shit on a bespoke shirt cuff.
Separate names with a comma.