the hygiene of ...

Discussion in 'Health & Body' started by CarllraC, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. Stylin-1

    Stylin-1 Senior member

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    I don't have that problem, but I shave the hairs off my ass, it looks better and it's frankly, a lot cleaner. It's the closest one's ass can get to being circumcised. [​IMG]

    Jon.

    I can honestly say I've never been even momentarily concerned with the appearance of my ass crack. And for that I'm immensely thankful.
     


  2. whodini

    whodini Conan OOOOOOO"BRIEN!

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    wet wipes in ziploc bags has been my solution. I have a very hairy crack and shaving there is really not an option, you don't want to get razor bumps there. Two wipes max and some regular TP and you are as clean as you can be.
    Your lover sure must chafe.
     


  3. Notreknip

    Notreknip Senior member

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    Often, on StyleForum, I feel that I might not have an expert enough opinion to comment. On questions of shoe construction and pressing matters such as morning coat length, I am useless. But now here is a topic on which I can provide some truly meaningful insight.

    Being part Asian, lactose intolerant, constantly under stress, and having numerous family members with IBS, I am someone who, at least once a week, looks to the bathroom ceiling and prays for divine intervention from the agonies of a particular bowel movement. I can count on one hand the number of clean, simple, minimal-wipe in-and-outers I have in an average year.

    The answer, my friend, is wet wipes. These things are the greatest. While they can be difficult to discreetly transport to and from the office bathroom (sneaking 3 or 4 from the plastic box in your desk drawer in a clandestine manner and then stuffing them into your Canali trouser pocket for the walk to the office john is indignity defined... you'll feel like a coke addict sneaking a snort), they are truly one of life's little life savers. Wipe with standard-issue paper until very nearly the end, then finish up with a few passes of wet wipes. Exit the bathroom feeling refreshed, clean, and confident.

    DO NOT follow up the wet treatment with a drying wipe of stock paper. Not only do you risk the dry paper pilling and leaving little white rolled dingleberries for you to have to deal with later, and the potential sting of a plucked hair, but worst of all, you introduce the possibility of the dreaded finger-through-paper breach. In this event, you will have to waddle, pants-around-ankles, to the sink (provided you're not in a multiple-toilet-stall bathroom) to wash your hands before you dare to touch said Canali (or Brioni or RLPL or Incotex) trousers again.

    After a while, you'll almost welcome the cleansing, sterilizing sting that comes with a slightly bloody final pass.

    I recommend the re-sealable Ziploc-type "refill" bags they sell at most supermarkets in the toilet paper section. Don't get the full-on baby wipes, they reek. I think Cottonelle sells some - they are packaged for children, with puppies embossed in relief on the papers, but there's something soothing about puppies when you're at your most vulnerable.

    If I ever, under circumstances that do not include a direct request to do so from Jessica Alba, shave the hairs of my ass-crack, please shoot me.


    Brilliant. ...most entertaining (and dare I say, useful) post I've yet seen on SF!
     


  4. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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  5. Carbon

    Carbon Well-Known Member

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    My opinion is that a more fibrous diet leads to messier dumps, but I don't suggest less fiber.

    When I used public restrooms, it used to be relatively quick. I would notice guys camped out there and hear them take roll after roll of toilet paper. Now I realize that it was necessary. If it's messy, you have to use tons of toilet paper. Eventually, if you keep wiping, it will be clean. If you can't wash right afterwards, my suggestion is to just keep taking new tissue and keep wiping away.

    I am really curious though, why the f**k did evolution but hair in the ass crack? (and I don't think shaving is a good idea because of the itch factor). I've heard one theory that pubes on the genitalia caught pheromones. It is conceivable why this would be evolutionary advantageous. But but hair catching crap really doesn't seem to serve a purpose.
     


  6. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    Being part Asian, lactose intolerant, constantly under stress, and having numerous family members with IBS, I am someone who, at least once a week, looks to the bathroom ceiling and prays for divine intervention from the agonies of a particular bowel movement. I can count on one hand the number of clean, simple, minimal-wipe in-and-outers I have in an average year.


    I've found, after numerous girlfriends and roommates who are at least part Asian, that if you are more than roughly 42% Asian, inherently, one can be done taking a shit by the time one sits down. While I keep a towel next to the throne to patiently bury my head in an attempt to guard myself from the fumes falling out of my colon, others are literally opening the door to the bathroom before it even closes. This is quite a paradox.
     


  7. Connemara

    Connemara [URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jST2Sv63WQ']

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    I've found, after numerous girlfriends and roommates who are at least part Asian, that if you are more than roughly 42% Asian, inherently, one can be done taking a shit by the time one sits down. While I keep a towel next to the throne to patiently bury my head in an attempt to guard myself from the fumes falling out of my colon, others are literally opening the door to the bathroom before it even closes. This is quite a paradox.
    I about pissed myself laughing when I read this.
     


  8. Rambo

    Rambo Senior member

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    Sorry to interrupt the proceedings but, I just have to ask, why this forum? Of all the places you could go to post and seek out information, why the BC section of StyleForum? It just seems like such an odd decision to make.
     


  9. HomerJ

    HomerJ Senior member

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    The consensus seems to be that the hairs catch the feces and create "dingleberries." I've resorted to pulling these hairs out in the shower. I grap a fingerful and just rip.
     


  10. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    The consensus seems to be that the hairs catch the feces and create "dingleberries." I've resorted to pulling these hairs out in the shower. I grap a fingerful and just rip.

    My cat gets what I call "dinglesteaks".
     


  11. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    The consensus seems to be that the hairs catch the feces and create "dingleberries." I've resorted to pulling these hairs out in the shower. I grap a fingerful and just rip.
    *shudder*
     


  12. metkirk

    metkirk Senior member

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    The consensus seems to be that the hairs catch the feces and create "dingleberries." I've resorted to pulling these hairs out in the shower. I grap a fingerful and just rip.

    Respect [​IMG]
     


  13. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    The consensus seems to be that the hairs catch the feces and create "dingleberries." I've resorted to pulling these hairs out in the shower. I grap a fingerful and just rip.

    Pain must be your friend. I think you should join the Green Beret.
     


  14. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    Anyone have a wide stance?
     


  15. tiecollector

    tiecollector Senior member

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    How does this all tie in to lumpkin etiquette?
     


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