mr. whinerman
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- Mar 29, 2009
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I have a friend who's had a girlfriend for a while and lately, none of his friends ever see him anymore. He'll go out of town with her for a week and then come back and spend the whole weekend with her, helping her with stuff she could do on her own, and dealing with her many crisises. She calls him when she knows he is out with us and keeps him on the phone for half an hour with some ridiculous problem she should be able to handle herself, and nagging about whether he is going to be able to do something he said he would do. He bends over backward to fix her problems but can't even "make time" to come out and meet up with his friends on a weekend night when he said he would, and can't even call to say he isn't going to make it, so we waste our night waiting for him to show up where we don't even want to be hanging out.
Last night I had a dream that I was sitting in a car with him and her and she was going on about their wedding plans, the photographer, the cake, the registry and crap, and I was basically the Bateman character, sitting silently in my sunglasses, while he was the Luis Caruthers character, pussily asking me if I had been getting enough sleep because I wasn't saying anything. (Imagine the business card scene "Patrick.... are you okay? You're sweating.") ARGH what am I supposed to do about this? He hasn't had a girlfriend for a long time before this, but it's not like he couldn't get another one. When he's not around she always has a reason for him not to come out, and when we do actually see him she's always checking up and wasting his and our time. To his credit, he doesn't always take too much of her **** (when we are around anyway). I can't imagine what kind of trash she talks about us when we're not around. I feel like I/we need to say something but I don't want to make it an us vs. her situation more than it probably already is.
Anyone have any advice? I've had this problem with friends in the past and usually I've ended up cutting off all contact with them after they flake enough times, which I think was always kind of a bullshit passive solution. I'm hoping there is an adult solution to this problem that might actually work to make him consider how much of his life she is consuming.
btw I'm not new, I just started this account to vent since I don't know if the friend in question reads this forum.
Last night I had a dream that I was sitting in a car with him and her and she was going on about their wedding plans, the photographer, the cake, the registry and crap, and I was basically the Bateman character, sitting silently in my sunglasses, while he was the Luis Caruthers character, pussily asking me if I had been getting enough sleep because I wasn't saying anything. (Imagine the business card scene "Patrick.... are you okay? You're sweating.") ARGH what am I supposed to do about this? He hasn't had a girlfriend for a long time before this, but it's not like he couldn't get another one. When he's not around she always has a reason for him not to come out, and when we do actually see him she's always checking up and wasting his and our time. To his credit, he doesn't always take too much of her **** (when we are around anyway). I can't imagine what kind of trash she talks about us when we're not around. I feel like I/we need to say something but I don't want to make it an us vs. her situation more than it probably already is.
Anyone have any advice? I've had this problem with friends in the past and usually I've ended up cutting off all contact with them after they flake enough times, which I think was always kind of a bullshit passive solution. I'm hoping there is an adult solution to this problem that might actually work to make him consider how much of his life she is consuming.
btw I'm not new, I just started this account to vent since I don't know if the friend in question reads this forum.