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The 27 Year Old Virgin

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by amathew, May 13, 2012.

  1. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    Culture does play a factor in many people's lives.
     
  2. Gingahbman

    Gingahbman Senior member

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    I know I shouldn't take the bait, but...

    I agree with you on the following points:

    1) The OP cares a lot about money.
    2) "Culture does play a factor in many people's lives."

    However, Indian culture extends beyond, "Let's make tons of money because we feel inferior".

    Correlation in one person's case, is not causation for an entire group of people. That's laughable.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2012
  3. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Maybe the op should try exposing himself to women at bars. I hear it is just a numbers game.
     
  4. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    I never Fawking said that. :plain:
     
  5. Gingahbman

    Gingahbman Senior member

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    It is.

    Finding a woman is not hard at all. It's just some men get fixated on wanting the perfect package( Great looks, great personality, etc.). That tends to be the hard part.
     
  6. Gingahbman

    Gingahbman Senior member

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    I know you didn't, but look at the comments that you followed.

    Now read Chevron's comment, my comment, and then your comment.

    In that order.

    Then read my follow up response. Does it seem to be on target now?
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  7. manchambo

    manchambo Senior member

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    A few thoughts and suggestions:

    First, I don't think there's anyone on the internet who can help you with this. It seems that you have an elaborate and deeply-seated self-sabotage mechanism that is going to prevent you from getting where you want to be. Any reasonable suggestion won't work for reasons that seem logical to you, and any girl who expresses interest is not right for reasons that you find justifiable. This didn't happen over night, and it didn't happen for no reason. Something happened along the way that made you the way you are, and you need to talk to a therapist to figure out what this mechanism is, how it got there, and how you can tear it down. I speak from some experience on this. I have always been a bit less socially confident than I'd like to be (though not nearly to the degree you're describing) and it has been immensely helpful for me to talk through how some bad shit that happened when I was a kid led to trust and confidence issues that can still hold me back a bit today.

    Second, you have talked a bit about what you would like to get from a girl (that you could lose your virginity and be less lonely) but not at all about what she might get from you. And I strongly suspect that you don't know what she could get from you, and might even think you don't have anything to offer, because it doesn't seem like you have a terribly high opinion of yourself. Moreover, because you have never interacted on any sort of intimate level with a female, you probably don't have much of an idea of what she would even want from you (as a hint, it has very little to do with weight lifting, or $400 shoes). It might help to shift your mind-set just a bit and start thinking more about what you will give in a relationship. I am confident that you do have things to offer, but you need to figure out what they are.

    Third, they aren't "fatties." They're people. And they just happen to be people who carry with them the ingredients for some of the most rewarding physical and emotional experiences we can have in this life. To be very blunt, at 5"4", you are not a paragon of the male physique in most women's eyes. That doesn't mean you're worthless, unlovable or hopeless. It does mean that it is completely untenable for you to disqualify every person who doesn't meet your physical ideal. Somewhere out there is a girl who weighs 20 lbs more than she should who would fulfill every physical desire you can think of, and would treat you better than you can imagine being treated. And there are plenty of thin women who would have you contemplating suicide. One of the things I regret in my life is that, before I met my wife, I turned down a few girls who really liked me, but who didn't meet my exacting standards in some way. I realize now that I could have had a lot of fun with them, and with other girls, even if I wouldn't have ended up married to them, and even if they didn't tick off every box on my dream girl list. In the end, wouldn't you have been a lot happier on your birthday with a girl who weighs a few pounds more than you think is ideal, but who would have been dying to cook you a birthday dinner and give you a birthday bj, than you were by yourself at the Allen Edmonds store?
     
    5 people like this.
  8. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    Thanks for the suggestions, but have to take issue with ^^^.

    - I never said I wouldn't date or have sex with an overweight woman.

    - Yes, I realize they are people. And at one time, I was 50 pounds heavier, so I can definitely sympathize. Of course, that also means that I have experience being where they are, and have less patience for their poor lifestyle decisions.

    - Are you seriously going to compare being short with being overweight/obese. One's height is determined in large part by genetics while most overweight people are that way due to poor lifestyle decisions. BIG DIFFERENCE between the two. Last time I checked, being short was not unhealthy, but being overweight is unhealthy. I can't choose to change my height, but an overweight person can CHOOSE to live a healthier life and lose weight.

    I agree that I'm a little stuck up about the whole weight, fitness, and lifestyle issue, and I should probably be less rigid in my perceptions of overweight people.
     
  9. mgm9128

    mgm9128 Senior member

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    If you can find a woman that would be willing to have sex with you, God bless you both.
     
  10. manchambo

    manchambo Senior member

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    From a woman's perspective, I would absolutely compare being short and being fat. In fact I would go so far as to say most women would prefer a tall and moderately overweight man to a short thin one. That's pretty unfair to you, of course, but that's how it is.
     
    2 people like this.
  11. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    Of course they would, the stats show that most women in this country (USA) are also moderately overweight, so they end up preferring men with a "similar" look. How is that surprising.

    Please, this is the kind of hog wash that people in the fat acceptance movement try to push.

    Being fat is more akin to smoking than being short.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2012
  12. manchambo

    manchambo Senior member

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    You're talking about the equity and morality of the situation and I'm taking about the reality. There are plenty of women out there who actually like a fairly big guy. Now I'm not taking about morbidly obese here, but plenty of women either like, or don't have any big problem with, someone built like Vince Vaughn (just pause for a moment and consider that he's a big movie star--it tells you a lot about what women care about).
     
  13. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Senior member

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    *RANT*

    God that video was infuriating.

    "I don't know anyone who's obese and unhealthy."
    Oh, so because anecdotally speaking, you don't know of any such circumstances, certainly, it cannot be true for anyone else.

    "Stop blaming overweight people for America's problems... [proceeds to talk about gays and religion because they're clearly relevant to the topic at hand :facepalm:]
    Stop taking shit so personally. Since when was that lady blaming you for shit?

    If you're a fatass and you take up two seats on an airplane, you're paying for two seats, motherfucker. Plain and simple.

    *END RANT*
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2012
  14. wizzeak

    wizzeak Senior member

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    Realistically if you approached enough women no matter how weird or bad your game is, there's going to be at least either 1 girl who finds you attractive enough and is DTF, or some drunk horny slut that didn't get anyone by the end of the night and just wants to be fucked. It's tough -especially if you're not good with girls to begin with- to be able to muster up the courage and subject yourself to this kind of rejection/embarrassment.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  15. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    +1000000000000000

    And stop fucking spilling over onto my side.

    Airlines should check them in with cargo.
     
  16. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    Is op seriously 5'4"?

    Anything below 5'11.75" is pleb status.

    Give up on life, problem solved.
     
  17. Find Finn

    Find Finn Senior member

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    I have a feeling you are under 25.



    I don't get why everyone gets to bring the same amount of luggage, there should be a total weight limit person + luggage combined.
     
  18. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    lol I never thought about it that way.
     
  19. Find Finn

    Find Finn Senior member

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    Let's say Person 1 weighs 50 kg and pays $200 for his or hers tickets, that allows them to bring 20-25kg of luggage and a 5-8 kg handbag totaling 75-88 kg.

    Person 2 also pays $200, but he/she weighs 170 kg and they can bring the exact same amount totaling 195-208 kg.

    If person 1 who weighs 50 kg has too much luggage he/she has to pay for overweight, due to extra fuel consumption, even though he/she is still 120 kg lighter than person 2, that's ridiculous if you ask me.
     
    1 person likes this.
  20. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    I agree with you. I make this argument when people ask me why I don't date big girls. They cost more to maintain, I can't afford that. I'm sure you get the point.
     

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