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The 27 Year Old Virgin

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by amathew, May 13, 2012.

  1. JG000

    JG000 Senior member

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    As was I, as are most later-in-life virgins. It's a catch 22 at this point. Is he nervous around people because he's never gotten laid or has he never gotten laid because he's nervous around people? (as a side note: my social anxiety diminished greatly after I stopped watching porn.)

    I have no idea if OP watches porn and if he doesn't my theory holds no weight. That said, I was in a VERY similar predicament until a few months ago and I might be the only poster in this thread who was also a virgin after 25.

    I went through all of the same motions as OP. Started dressing better (reason I'm here), started exercising and taking nutritional supplements, improved my diet, online dating, got blowjobs from strippers, etc. You name it and I tried it on the wild mission to build sexual confidence and ultimately give away my V-Card.

    The ONE piece of the puzzle that finally allowed me to break through was when I stopped habitually watching porn. That's what put me in the driver's seat. Anddd my first time was even decent to boot (she had no idea I was a virgin).

    I will certainly admit what worked for me may not work for OP, but I'd be truly remiss in not making the suggestion.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  2. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    I don't watch much porn, maybe one to three times a week. And I sometimes will go a couple weeks without looking at it. Porn just isn't something I ever got into.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2012
  3. Biscotti

    Biscotti Senior member

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    I can't get through a night of studying without beating it at least once.
     
  4. impolyt_one

    impolyt_one Senior member

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    Ojfc. Please tell me you can play at least the half black card here.

    Guy with porn addiction: there are better excuses.

    Op: go fuck some bitches or pay me to train you so you don't die alone.
     
  5. Nil

    Nil Senior member

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    Yeah, I think texas jack is black.
     
  6. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    Went to Fashion's Night Out yesterday at a Denver suburbs thinking that would be a good place to meet women, not to mention easy women. Alas, not true. It was the suburbs, so it was full of older ladies and women my age who were married (there w/ husbands). The event sucked also, but that's a different story. Ended up just standing by myself near the corner and left after the "fashion show." But at least I got back home in time to catch Obama's speech, highlight of my night.
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2012
  7. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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  8. maplefuturist

    maplefuturist Senior member

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    OP, do you use Facebook? I wonder if this might be beneficial in this circumstance. Might be better than dating web sites.
     
  9. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    No, no facebook. When I was in college I had a FB account and used it way too much, so I decided to get rid of it. Never felt the need to start using it again as I don't really have any friends.
     
  10. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    that may be part of your problem
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2012
  11. Matt

    Matt Senior member

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    ^ yup.

    Go out and make some friends first kiddo. Join some clubs for anything you have even the slightest passing interest in getting better at. I don't care if it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Brazilian Portuguese (although Brazilian waxing would be a great idea), just get out of the house, away from the internet, and make some friends that will get you out and about.

    Stop worrying about ass. Just get out of the house a bit and make some friends. Those friends will have other friends. Half of those other friends will be women. All those women friends-of-friends will have vaginas. Well...most of them will anyhow...but we will cross that bridge when you come to it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2012
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  12. CalTex

    CalTex Senior member

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    ^ +1

    Follow our advice, it will change your life. :)
     
  13. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    Alternatively, consider joining a monastery.
     
  14. YOLO EMSHI

    YOLO EMSHI Senior member

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. YOLO EMSHI

    YOLO EMSHI Senior member

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    Almost every bit of advice in this thread essentially derives from this


    Seriously there are only two necessary things you have to change about yourself before you go out and do any kind of socialising.
    1) Get rid of your virginity ASAP.

    Why? When you're a virgin and you see a woman you're interested in, you are probably salivating and rocking that boner, and if you approach any woman they will immediately notice this. You end up approaching every woman like some kind of idealised sexual object and this typically will bring out a lot of anxiety in you because you really haven't learnt how to properly express these feelings in a 'socially acceptable' sort of way.

    Get a hooker, there is nothing wrong with this, in fact it might be the only time in your life when sex can be genuinely honest. This experience will teach you that sex is a very real thing in the sense it can be messy, awkward, and unsatisfying sometimes because it will involve other people outside of your fantasies beyond your control. When you understand this you'll begin to shed any inhibitions and insecurities in regards to your own inferiority, and the way you will see other women.

    2) be completely honest with yourself about the kind of person you are.

    Know what is good about you, and admit what is bad about you, and accept that this is just how you are. This is what it really means to be confident, to actually be humble. This also helps you understand other people, and in turn it makes it comfortable for other people to be around you.


    Now that I'm done with the advice part I'll start on the criticising. It seems that throughout this entire thread you've demonstrated a pathological attachment to your own self pity, and only seek to validate your sense of worthlessness. This kind of meandering bullshit really pisses me off.

    I would say that it would be an easier feat for you to accept your solitary existence with some dignity than to follow any of the advice given in this thread.
     
  16. Svenn

    Svenn Senior member

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    well said.
     
  17. JG000

    JG000 Senior member

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    Ehhh. In all honesty, I'm not sure if this is great advice.

    Hiring a prostitute is essentially cheating at this point. Yes, he will no longer be a virgin - but with a big asterisk next to that statement. And the experience will most likely still result in warped perceptions of sex and physical attraction.

    I was also a later-in-life virgin, and often considered using an escort service to "solve the problem". However, I didn't - in fact I decided to adopt an entirely different approach...

    I worked on self-improvement. I forgot about girls and the never ending battle to lose my v-card. I started doing volunteer work, eating better, exercising more, and doing whatever else I could to see a better version of myself in the mirror.

    Within a few months of embarking on this journey - I lost my virginity to a female friend that happened to be very attracted to the new me (and the "old me" as well).

    Bottom line: I wouldn't recommend OP see a prostitute just yet. Before he turns thirty? Yea, might not be a bad idea. But for now - he needs to stop wallowing in self-pity and step his game up.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2012
  18. Fraiche

    Fraiche Senior member

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    amathew - You seem to still be holding back despite a plethora of useful advice so far. Do you have severe approach anxiety?
     
  19. amathew

    amathew Senior member

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    I know the advice that people have stated on here is useful, but I still am having issues going through with approaching women. I got myself accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and now I want to change, but it's hard to get out of my comfort zone. I wouldn't say that I have approach anxiety. If anything, I have an issue keeping conversations going.
     
  20. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    OP, how often do you pleasure yourself?
     

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