Tear apart my resume!

[Saturdays]

Okay so I need SF's opinion on my resume. Please don't be nice, I know you won't. I welcome all criticism.
Jobs I am shooting for: Associate Analysts/Consulting. Anything in Corporate Finance. Corporate Retail jobs. Start Up Tech Firms.

GPA was 3.0. An idea of companies I would like to work for: Polo Ralph Lauren, Apple, Google, Thomson Reuters (Better Role in NY perhaps), J Crew, A&F's Retail Development program, Brooks Brothers, Groupon, Gilt, Everlane, GE, Accenture, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Dell, Intel, AMD and much more

a few companies I have interviewed for already but ultimately did not get the job: Target (Business Analyst), Google, Polo Ralph Lauren (Supply Chain), Navigant (Associate Consultant), Hewlett Packard (Financial Analyst, Account Analyst), Intel (Pricing/Sourcing Analyst).

I'm just giving out all the info that I can to get the best help, ask questions if you think an answer from me will provoke a better response in helping.

Thank you!

[ATTACHMENT=2497]Saturdays Resume.docx (21k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]

EDIT 1: [ATTACHMENT=2499]Saturdays Resume.docx (21k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]

 

[Blackhood]

[ATTACHMENT=2498]Saturdays Resume.docx (24k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]

Notes attached.

 

[Harbin]

maybe I have a banker mindset when it comes to resumes but you should be more specific on each of the bullet points espcially with number to back everything up

 

[Saturdays]



[ATTACHMENT=2498]Saturdays Resume.docx (24k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]
Notes attached.

Thanks I made some changes, renamed Tech Skills to Core Skills, added Project Management, that was a great idea.
Bachelor of Arts, Finance is the degree, there are no degree levels in the US (That I know of)

Here's the next edited version:
[ATTACHMENT=2499]Saturdays Resume.docx (21k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]

 

[nerdykarim]



maybe I have a banker mindset when it comes to resumes but you should be more specific on each of the bullet points espcially with number to back everything up

This was my thought as well. I don't have time to make specific comments right now, but I would look up the "STAR method" for resumes and change your points to reflect that. This site looks like a decent reference point. Generally, fewer items with way more detail is better.

Thanks I made some changes, renamed Tech Skills to Core Skills, added Project Management, that was a great idea.
Bachelor of Arts, Finance is the degree, there are no degree levels in the US (That I know of)
Here's the next edited version:
[ATTACHMENT=2499]Saturdays Resume.docx (21k. docx file)[/ATTACHMENT]

I would dump that "Skills" section altogether. Project Management is actually a specific discipline (that I'm not an expert in, personally). Unless you can answer questions about critical paths/have used MS Project, I would probably leave this off your resume.

 

[CYstyle]

Agree with Blackhood, although I'd keep the excel functions. The reason to list it is your typical recruiter doesn't know **** about excel, and typical analyst jobs require a lot of excel, and require v look ups and pivot tables so they see it on the job description for the job they are hiring then scam resume's and see it on the resume and they'll take note.

Also I would put the months for the dates, and order from when you last worked each job with most recent first

it's super cramped, should make it 2 pages. If anything just dump the extra cirriculars on the 2nd page

 

[Saturdays]



maybe I have a banker mindset when it comes to resumes but you should be more specific on each of the bullet points espcially with number to back everything up

Maybe some clues to at what is significant in numbers and what is not may be of help.

Something like:

'Management of $100M in accounts...'

'Assisted over 50 accountants a day...'

'Created referral opportunities with 10 physicians...'

I always feel like the numbers look like bullshit and insignificant, or not significant enough.

 

[Saturdays]



This was my thought as well. I don't have time to make specific comments right now, but I would look up the "STAR method" for resumes and change your points to reflect that. This site looks like a decent reference point. Generally, fewer items with way more detail is better.
I would dump that "Skills" section altogether. Project Management is actually a specific discipline (that I'm not an expert in, personally). Unless you can answer questions about critical paths/have used MS Project, I would probably leave this off your resume.

Agree with Blackhood, although I'd keep the excel functions. The reason to list it is your typical recruiter doesn't know **** about excel, and typical analyst jobs require a lot of excel, and require v look ups and pivot tables so they see it on the job description for the job they are hiring then scam resume's and see it on the resume and they'll take note.
Also I would put the months for the dates, and order from when you last worked each job with most recent first
it's super cramped, should make it 2 pages. If anything just dump the extra cirriculars on the 2nd page

Okay thanks for the input, I will work on it again. I agree about Project Management, it is a skill set acquired through some higher experience. I am still in that entry level stage and probably can't claim that sort of experience.

I am going to add back the bit of the Excel functions, because most jobs I do apply to are requiring to have experience with Excel functions.

 

[nerdykarim]

When people say "add more numbers," what I think they really mean is that you need to add results. For some jobs, it might be that your performance led to a tangible increase in profits, decrease in turnover, etc. that can be measured in dollars or %. For other jobs, it might be something like "presented results to senior mgmt team" or "drafted handbook that was passed to all employees."

I agree with the folks that say that specific Excel functions are probably good to mention--everyone that doesn't have those skills is still claiming proficiency in MS Office, so you do need to set yourself apart.

 

[Harbin]

Idk, something like this sounds more professional and gives them better idea of what exactly you did:


Conducted extensive due diligence on numerous active growth equity and
buyout

to

Composed several investment memos for upper management, co-investors,
and LPs after conducting extensive due diligence on live growth equity and
buyout deals for target companies with EV range of $7–55 million.

 

[kasper007]



When people say "add more numbers," what I think they really mean is that you need to add results. For some jobs, it might be that your performance led to a tangible increase in profits, decrease in turnover, etc. that can be measured in dollars or %. For other jobs, it might be something like "presented results to senior mgmt team" or "drafted handbook that was passed to all employees."
I agree with the folks that say that specific Excel functions are probably good to mention--everyone that doesn't have those skills is still claiming proficiency in MS Office, so you do need to set yourself apart.

gonna play the devil's advocate here, but the tech skills section seems fairly useless to my eyes. i would expect any qualified candidate to be able to use windows, multitask and use vlookup. Even VBA isn't that special a skill, it can be learned during a week-end...

 

[newinny]

Create separate, focused resumes for different industries and maintain in different folders. Don't save and submit a resume that says BobJones_resume_retail.doc because it becomes clear that you are applying to separate industries.

Retail
Polo Ralph Lauren, J Crew, A&F's Retail Development program, Brooks Brothers,

Blue Chip Tech
Apple, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Dell, Intel, AMD

Tech
Groupon, Gilt, Google,

Finance
Thomson Reuters (Better Role in NY perhaps), Everlane,

"Extra-Curricular Activities" is generally labeled "interests & other" and this section should be much smaller (10 lines or less). For your "retail" resume, move "Return of the Strangers" to the top and describe sales/customer experience. For your "tech" resume, move this to the top and stress the online portion of this start-up. For all others, make it a small bullet point in extra-curriculars.


Currently each job you have in the professional experience section takes up about the same space. I would remove "Technical Support Consultant" role or turn it into one line. Reduce the information about the internships and focus on the two most recent positions. Re-frame your work under each job to apply specifically to a particular industry.

i.e.
for finance companies, stress work with financial statements, client sales, tax knowledge, etc.
for tech companies, stress interest in new technology, systems, application development, etc.


Lastly the format of the resume is not standard. Don't have any suggestions off-hand but might want to search for a better template online.

Agree with prior comments about:
- completely remove "core skills / tech skills" section. everyone should have the ones that you've listed
- make each work bullet point action / results oriented: "created new report that reduced processing time by 12 days"

 

[bringusingoodale]

Jesus, your resume is crowded and I don't get the feeling much of it matters. This is your biggest problem.

I want to see more white space, however cliche that may be.

I really would recommend picking up a resume book, I actually found "Gallery of Best Resume" series very helpful. You get to see and read dozens of resumes from different career fields and you can pick and choose what designs and "buzzwords" will work for you.

 

[gam29]



gonna play the devil's advocate here, but the tech skills section seems fairly useless to my eyes. i would expect any qualified candidate to be able to use windows, multitask and use vlookup. Even VBA isn't that special a skill, it can be learned during a week-end...

if someone lists vlookup as an excel skill on their resume, i immediately throw it out. no one should ever use that function.

vba can be a special skill. it all depends on what you're doing with it. you can usually tell from looking at someone's code whether or not they are proficient in vba or if they simply use the record macros button in excel. i'd still list vba if you are proficient in it though.

 

[Saturdays]



Create separate, focused resumes for different industries and maintain in different folders. Don't save and submit a resume that says BobJones_resume_retail.doc because it becomes clear that you are applying to separate industries.
Retail
Polo Ralph Lauren, J Crew, A&F's Retail Development program, Brooks Brothers,
Blue Chip Tech
Apple, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Dell, Intel, AMD
Tech
Groupon, Gilt, Google,
Finance
Thomson Reuters (Better Role in NY perhaps), Everlane,
"Extra-Curricular Activities" is generally labeled "interests & other" and this section should be much smaller (10 lines or less). For your "retail" resume, move "Return of the Strangers" to the top and describe sales/customer experience. For your "tech" resume, move this to the top and stress the online portion of this start-up. For all others, make it a small bullet point in extra-curriculars.
Currently each job you have in the professional experience section takes up about the same space. I would remove "Technical Support Consultant" role or turn it into one line. Reduce the information about the internships and focus on the two most recent positions. Re-frame your work under each job to apply specifically to a particular industry.
i.e.
for finance companies, stress work with financial statements, client sales, tax knowledge, etc.
for tech companies, stress interest in new technology, systems, application development, etc.
Lastly the format of the resume is not standard. Don't have any suggestions off-hand but might want to search for a better template online.
Agree with prior comments about:
- completely remove "core skills / tech skills" section. everyone should have the ones that you've listed
- make each work bullet point action / results oriented: "created new report that reduced processing time by 12 days"

Jesus, your resume is crowded and I don't get the feeling much of it matters. This is your biggest problem.
I want to see more white space, however cliche that may be.
I really would recommend picking up a resume book, I actually found "Gallery of Best Resume" series very helpful. You get to see and read dozens of resumes from different career fields and you can pick and choose what designs and "buzzwords" will work for you.

Thanks for the input, i'm gonna rework this tonight after work. I'll also try to find that 'Gallery of Best Resume'. I always felt it was crowded but people i knew said its fine, but then their resumes were all white space and not as crowded.

I already know what I can completey delete from my resume, I do know that I want to remain at one page since I'm not experienced enough to be having a two page resume or anything very significant that would require two pages.