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Subway and Public Transportation Etiquette - The People We Encounter

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by patrickBOOTH, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Nobody bothered me on the subway this morning, but I did have an awkward ride. This girl was standing next to me who my friend brought as a date to this house party last year. He met her on the internet and only had two dates with her. We talked and such at the party, however I hadn't seen her since. I pretended not to recognize her. She did the same, obviously.
     
  2. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    Nah, it seems like the guy has other issues beyond shoe-getting-kicked syndrome.
     
  3. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    To do otherwise would have been gauche.
     
  4. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I'm not friendly in the morning.
     
  5. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    This is normal, people who are friendly in the morning are cunts.
     
  6. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I couldn't agree more. I get to my office at about 7:30 and there are these jolly old dickheads who have been in the office greeting the day since like 5:30. Fuck them.
     
  7. sugarbutch

    sugarbutch Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Hahaha. Up and at 'em, vampires!
     
  8. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    Fuck off it's still morning here. Where's the "giving the finger" emoticon. Emoticon what a stupid fucking name for something.
     
  9. NewYorkIslander

    NewYorkIslander Senior member

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    This is a great thread. Meatball girl could very well have been my first girlfriend in 8th grade. She let me finger her in her backyard while her twin sisters were playing 10 feet from us. Staten Island baby!

    I saw this hot Bohemian chick on the 4 train yesterday, and on the R I was witness to an interesting conversation between some 20 something white kid with graffittied up Timbs and an older (could be 30 could be 60, you know crack does that to you) black guy/girl (has hair short and spoke with a clear lisp, but had some sort of 2 oclock shadow, not quite 5, but not clean either) with a walker abut the beneifts of going to Lutheran (a shitty hospital in Sunset Park) or Victory memorial (a shittier hospital in Dyker Heights). He was reading Wuthering Heights. No shit.
     
  10. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had one of the most memorable train rides about a year and a half ago. I was in between renting an apartment and waiting for my closing on a condo and I stayed with my girlfriend for about a month in Midwood, Brooklyn where she lived at the time. The ride is about an hour from Manhattan and I wanted to kill myself for that month, however one Friday night going back on the Q train at about 11pm the ride was much more enjoyable.

    When you get on the Q it is initally very crowded and by the time it gets out there in Brooklyn, not so much. I was standing holding the pole talking to my g/f and this kid behind me kept bumping into me. I looked at him and it appeared that he had down's syndrome, or some other disability so it didn't bother me so much. Anyway, the train is emptying out and the only people left standing are my g/f and I and this kid. Only, the kid turned around to face me, but he is not a kid at all. He is about a 4 foot tall Spanish guy wasted beyond belief who is having trouble standing and moving about in the train. I immediately step away from him because I don't want him vomiting all over me.

    So, everybody is watching this little homunculus. He is moving slowly and making the weirdest facial expressions that I have ever seen. It is like he was straining to see straight because he was so drunk. So, everybody is still in amusement over him, and he drops his ipod onto the floor by the pole. He had the headphones in his ears still, but he was so short the cord reached the ground no problem and didn't yank the music out of his ears. So he is trying to reach down to pick it up and support his drunken body with the pole and just stays halfway leaning on the pole trying to grab it for a while and drooling all over the floor. I am thinking to myself, "oh no, this guy is going to explode with vomit any second." Nope, he gets it, puts it in his pocket and then walks down the train with his face nearly pressed up to other people's face, all wobbly, googly-eyed, and drooling. Then he gets to this smoking hot chick, skimpy summer outfit, giant tits, and he is just standing in front of her for a while. She's just sort of sitting awkwardly, and then he sticks his hand down his track pants and starts playing with himself. As soon as he starts doing this he falls on top of her and this older lady next to the girl with a push cart in front of her pushes him away and he falls on the floor. He slowly gets up, struggling and starts punching her pushcart, and punching the pole. Too drunk to be strong, or cause damage, so it was just comical. Finally to top off the evening, he takes his dick out and starts pissing all over the floor. I was laughing my ass off. As the train was moving the piss was running everywhere. He finally got off at the stop before ours. Everybody bonded on the train that night and the commute seemed much shorter thanks to him.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2012
  11. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    TLDNR, sumary please.
     
  12. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Senior member

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    Kinda long winded but a funny story.

    Drunk midget hispanic guy bumps into pB, jerks off while staring at a hot chick with big boobs, and then pisses all over the place.

    I really don't like to walk all the way across the island, if I can help it. I take the L from 8th ave to 1st about once a month. I don't see the harm in it. The m14 is GARBAGE. the m23 on the other hand is wonderful.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2012
  13. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I hate buses. They for poor people and cripples.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2012
  14. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    :)
     
  15. EMY

    EMY Senior member

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    I am Asian and the guy was not too racist. The only "racist" thing he said was that he is not afraid of karate. I knew reasoning with him would have been useless so that's why I just stared at him to make sure he wasn't going to do anything crazy.
     
  16. Fang66

    Fang66 Senior member

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    And bus drivers are arseholes.
     
  17. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    So true.
     
  18. Kid Nickels

    Kid Nickels Senior member

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    guy at my old office used to do this... "GOOD MORNING Kid Nick!" Ya, fuck off you tool and don't talk to me for at least three more hours.


    + a billion
     
  19. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I had an awkward subway ride today. I walk onto the train and I am already out of sorts because of the rain and such and then I see sitting down next to where I am standing this girl I hooked up with once or twice going on 4 years ago. At the time she said she didn't have facebook because it brings out the crazy in her. Two days later she added me on it. Let me tell you. I don't think it was facebook that made her crazy, she was a fucking psycho, plain and simple.
     
  20. Ty_Webb

    Ty_Webb Senior member

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    I had an interesting experience on the shuttle the other day (goes from Times Square to Grand Central and back again - it's also probably the busiest bit of subway in the system). Getting on at track four and there are about 7 or 8 people in front of me. One of them decides that she wants to stand by the door, so she just stands there, blocking half the doorway while dozens of people are trying to get on behind her. I squeeze past her, saying something under my breath. Then I hear some guy saying something like "hey people, move into the middle so everyone can get in" and this other woman says "yeah, about time someone said something" and continued muttering fairly loudly about people not moving into the middle as she squeezed in past the woman in the doorway. At this point, the woman in the doorway pipes up with "maybe I'm not moving into the middle because I don't want to. I want to stand here." I was this close || to pointing out to her that she is everything that is wrong with the world. So unbelievably fucking selfish. Then the woman who was doing the muttering said "I wasn't even talking about you, so you can just shut up". Classic stuff. Rarely do I wish ill on people, but she was a total see you next tuesday.
     

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