Stuttering Problem

[ranson]

Hi guys,
Long time lurker here looking for some advice and/or perspective on my situation. I am male, early 20's and have a lifelong stuttering problem which I have been able to hide very well for the last 10 years or so (by having a large vocabulary) except when making phone calls or ordering certain foods (I'll often order something I don;t ewant simply because I can pronounce it fluently). I'll be graduating from college next year and looking for a corporate job but I'm a bit worried about having to make phone calls to get interviews let alone having to make phone calls on the job when I do get one. Ultimately I'd like to go to law school but I think I will have to give up my dream of becoming a lawyer because let's face it, no one wants a stuttering lawyer nor would any law firm hire a lawyer who stutters no matter hjow competent they are.

This however isn't my biggest problem though. I've never had a girlfriend or even asked a girl out before not only because of a fear of rejection but because I often can't pronounce a girl's name without stuttering under pressure. I'd really like to start asking girls out because I have let so many slip away in the past. I think if I did ask a girl out, I'd end up sounding "marsupialed" at best

and I don't think that girls in their 20's are very forgiving of stuttering. If you think that's the worst of it, you'd be wrong. I can't even pronounce my own name without stuttering so I have to go by a nickname (which I don't much like) whenever I introduce myself to anyone. Can anyone give me any advice on how I might be able to approach girls given my situation? (Also, in case anyone's wondering, I think it's much too late for me to get speech therapy at this age.)

Thanks

 

[Supertarheel]

You have to get over this, sorry my ADD didnt allow me to read all of your post, lol. But get over the fact that your stuttering will steer girls away, people really don't care, they accept you for who you are.

 

[Jekyll]

Originally Posted by ranson

it's much too late for me to get speech therapy at this age.

No, it's not.

 

[Eason]

You'll be OK as long as you never go full marsupial.

 

[ranson]

Originally Posted by Eason

You'll be OK as long as you never go full marsupial.

UNfortunately, I do end up sounding like Simple Jack when I'm under pressure eg on the phone.

 

[Eason]

Just keep practicing, if anybody makes fun of you for it then you can call them out for being a ******* asshole.

 

[ranson]

BTW, does anyone know any guys who stutter who are going out with hot girls? (I need some hope here).

Edit: by "hot", I mean "better than average" not supermodel.

 

[Millerp]

I think it's much too late for me to get speech therapy at this age

It is definitely not too late!

Please look into it.

 

[RedLetterDay]

Originally Posted by ranson

I think it's much too late for me to get speech therapy at this age.

Echoing the previous poster, I don't think this is true. Granted I'm not a speech therapist but I certainly don't think early 20s is past the point of being able to benefit from going to one. Worst case scenario is they aren't able to help you and you're at the same place you started.

 

[ranson]

Originally Posted by Eason

Just keep practicing, if anybody makes fun of you for it then you can call them out for being a ******* asshole.

It wouldn't be so bad if I stuttered all the time because then I wouldn't have to worry. THe fact that I am completely fluent almost 98% of the time means that when and if I stutter, it just shocks the hell out of most people as they may have known me for months or years and never heard me stutter. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt?

 

[ranson]

Originally Posted by Jekyll

No, it's not.

Originally Posted by Millerp

It is definitely not too late!

Please look into it.

Originally Posted by RedLetterDay

Echoing the previous poster, I don't think this is true. Granted I'm not a speech therapist but I certainly don't think early 20s is past the point of being able to benefit from going to one. Worst case scenario is they aren't able to help you and you're at the same place you started.

It's unlikley I would benefit from speech therapy as I am fluent almost 98% of the time and only stutter on certain words/phrases and then only under certain situations which in my opinion is much worse than stuttering all the time as I live in constant fear of haveing my secret exposed. Having said that, I stuttered much worse as a kid and certainly could have benefited from some speech therapy then but I kind of taught myself some compensatory tricks to get around my stuttering like reading the thesaurus to learn synonyms.

 

[Millerp]

Originally Posted by ranson

It's unlikley I would benefit from speech therapy as I am fluent almost 98% of the time and only stutter on certain words/phrases and then only under certain situations which in my opinion is much worse than stuttering all the time as I live in constant fear of haveing my secret exposed.


My sister is a speech therapist and I've heard her stories.

There are all kinds of stutterers and your situation is not uncommon.

You may just need breathing excercises or bio-feedback therapy.

You are doing youself a great disservice by not even consulting a speech therapist.

But it's your life.

I'm not sure we can help you get girls if you don't improve your self confidence

 

[ranson]

Thanks for the replies guys. I think maybe I will give speech therapy a shot although I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.

 

[JayJay]

Originally Posted by ranson

Thanks for the replies guys. I think maybe I will give speech therapy a shot although I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.
ranson, focusing on the fear of stuttering doesn't help. There are lots websites with tips for stutters, although seeing a speech therapist doesn't hurt. Sufficient rest and reduced stress help tremendously.

Remember that some of the most reknown individuals such as James Earl Jones are also stutters.

Don't watch the movie "A Fish Named Wanda".

 

[kwilkinson]

There was a kid in my high school who had a stuttering problem. Like you, it wasn't with every word, just maybe once in every conversation or so. Maybe we were all just used to it, but nobody made fun of him. He was just one of the kids. We've all got our own things. On the real, the people who make fun of you or judge you for it are just assholes, and should be called out like Eason said. Since you said it happens more in pressure situations, maybe it's just a stress thing and JayJay was right that reducing stress might help. I don't think a speech therapist would hurt either.
If you really do have a large vocabulary and are relatively smart, that will come through on people more strongly than your stutter.