Stuff your dad or trusted older male taught you

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Markus Aurelius, Feb 5, 2010.

  1. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    Looking back over 23 years, I can honestly say that 90% of the good lessons I learned were from my dad. I am the man I am today because of him (no offense Dad, in case you think I'm uber girly).
     


  2. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    semi-related but I just had a 'dad' moment this morning:

    I have, much to my extreme chagrin, go to work again today, sunday. I'm not paid for doing this and I don't agree with management's decision and I certainly hate the fact that I'm at work when I could be with my 2 kids today. anyway, my eldest daughter is bummed that I have to go to work and before I left she asked, with disappointment in her eyes, why I have to go to work. my answer was, "well honey, you never turn down work even if its difficult or because you don't want to do it."
     


  3. APK

    APK Senior member

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    I admittedly didn't have a great relationship with my father. My parents divorced by time I was three, I lived exclusively with my mom, and he died when I was 15. Needless to say, there wasn't a whole lot of time for great advice.

    As I get older, though, I'm realizing that while he had his demons, he's the type of person I would've enjoyed talking to more. His carefree, charmingly unrefined persona that embarrassed me persistently as a child is a bit enviable to me now.

    Anyway, my mom found a couple of letters he wrote to me and my brother while he was getting treatment for cancer. The content is really just chit-chat, but there's one sentence that stood out to me: Enjoy life.

    It sounds cliche and seems to lack emotion. But I'm in a transition period of my life where that's the exact thing I needed to see.
     


  4. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    The most valuable thing my father taught me is a general sense of what masculinity is.

    One I was talking about with my girlfriend recently was the value of guarding information.
     


  5. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    He taught me how to shave

    My dad brought me this after he returned from a long business trip:

    [​IMG]

    This is what the interest matured to:

    [​IMG]
     


  6. milosz

    milosz Senior member

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    I was a pretty wild child, my parents mostly left me alone as far as Life Lessons go (never talked about drugs, sex, etc., I didn't know what the Ten Commandments were until I 10).

    My dad's influence is pretty strong, though - I learned to read from his library of books on military history, I won my first rotisserie baseball league when I was 9 or 10 (Cecil Fielder and Bobby Thigpen, fuck yeah), I grew up helping on construction sites during the summer and picked up his ethic of working for yourself. He didn't exactly teach me to shoot (he's a horrible shot these days), but introduced me to guns. I got to go to adult bars and play in darts tournaments with him when I was a pre-teen.

    I've got some residual bitterness about shitty things (like when he gave me shit for the SAT I took as a sophomore - 770 verbal but only 620 math or something, he expected me to clear 1500) that are equally influential. I know that my antipathy toward high school and college was born in part from that confrontation about my scores - if I had no hope of getting help to go to Reed or wherever, why even fucking bother caring about school. He had a chip on his shoulder about leaving home at 17 and getting through Berkeley on his own, but never understood that 2000 was not 1964 and that his lack of guidance or support didn't help my brother or me.
     


  7. robbie

    robbie Pleading Poverty

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    semi-related but I just had a 'dad' moment this morning:

    I have, much to my extreme chagrin, go to work again today, sunday. I'm not paid for doing this and I don't agree with management's decision and I certainly hate the fact that I'm at work when I could be with my 2 kids today. anyway, my eldest daughter is bummed that I have to go to work and before I left she asked, with disappointment in her eyes, why I have to go to work. my answer was, "well honey, you never turn down work even if its difficult or because you don't want to do it."


    thumbs up!
     


  8. JustinW

    JustinW Senior member

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    The importance of minimalism, how to stand up to authority, how to think for myself.

    Nice!

    with claymores?


    With empty beer cans.
     


  9. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    semi-related but I just had a 'dad' moment this morning:

    I have, much to my extreme chagrin, go to work again today, sunday. I'm not paid for doing this and I don't agree with management's decision and I certainly hate the fact that I'm at work when I could be with my 2 kids today. anyway, my eldest daughter is bummed that I have to go to work and before I left she asked, with disappointment in her eyes, why I have to go to work. my answer was, "well honey, you never turn down work even if its difficult or because you don't want to do it."


    good call
     


  10. Markus Aurelius

    Markus Aurelius Active Member

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    It may sound like a cliche dad thing to teach a son, but my father taught me how to fish.
     


  11. SField

    SField Senior member

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    Three very important things my dad taught me:

    1) How to tie a proper Windsor
    2) How and why you should always stand and look like you know what you're talking about
    3) How and why you should always keep secretaries, receptionists, doormen and assistants very happy and on your good side (flowers, thank you cards, gifts etc...)

    The third one has been beyond invaluable to me. I don't know how many times my ass was saved or I had some advantage over other people because I'd sent someone a thank you note for something they did for me that is actually part of what they do every single day many times a day. Even if someone is just doing their job, the power of letting them know that their attention to your case, however insignificant it is, made an appreciable difference. Without even having the motive of a positive return on my thanks, I've reaped the rewards for this kind of thing ever since I can remember.
     


  12. HgaleK

    HgaleK Senior member

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    Women are evil.
    My mom told me that one... My dad taught me how to work on a car, how to do some electrical work before I started my job, how to use most tools, weld, do basic plumbing, and how to drive standard.
     


  13. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    My dad taught me many things - both verbally and through his actions.

    - Do not let anyone have control over how you feel. A corollary of this that he frequently told me was that the person who loses their temper has allowed the other person to take control of the situation at hand, so never lose control of the situation which you're in.

    - Everyone you meet, at all class levels, are human - just like me. To him, they all should be treated with equal dignity.

    - Never assume "no" is the final answer and that the person telling you so has the authority or competency to make that decision.

    He taught me how to:
    - sharpen knives
    - fish with a rod and reel and a cane pole
    - how to tie knots
    - how to lead birds with a shotgun and how to dress small game and birds
    - how to garden and not to "dig a five dollar hole for a twenty dollar tree"
    - how to tie a tie and how to polish shoes

    My grandfather taught me how to:
    -build birdhouses and the importance of the hole's diameter and the depth of the box, wooden swings, and bat houses
    - how to "run a trotline"

    My mother had a great positive emotional influence on me. She taught by example and really didn't verbalize any wisdom to me - however she taught me the importance of sympathy and empathy, as well as how to care and nurture. It's funny, because for much of my life I knew very well what my dad taught me, but I had to reach a higher level of maturity and wisdom (than I was before) to realize how important my mother was in my development.
     


  14. montyharding

    montyharding Senior member

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    My dad taught me:

    - Don't gamble
    - Don't drink to excess
    - Don't piss your life away with the above two.

    Mind you, he didn't actually tell me that in so many words, as it were.
     


  15. blackjack

    blackjack Senior member

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    My dad tried to teach me:

    - that certain races were never to be trusted
    - to judge people by their educational credentials as well as socio-economic class
    - to look down upon tradesmen and those who work with their hands and/or by the sweat of their brow
    - to always vote Democrat no matter what

    My dad's friend took me aside and first taught me things like:

    - how to change the oil in my car
    - how to drive stick shift
    - the joy of learning how to be self-sufficient in basic mechanics, the outdoors, and life in general.
    - that my dad - while his friend - was a terrible snob and that I needn't follow in his lonely miserable path.
     


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