standing up when you talk to a lady

[globetrotter]

pissed myself off. friend of my wife's (wife of a friend) comes into the coffee shop and I say hello, and she stops to ask me a question. I didn't pop to my feet when she came in, jsut to say hello, but then it developed into a conversation. I really felt ackward talkig to her with me sitting and her standing, but I also felt that she would find it ackward if I popped to my feet after a minutes of talking.

anybody else feel bad about getting in that situation?

 

[sho'nuff]

not really. ive been in these kinds of similar situations too. but it is all case by case. most of the time you get a sense that there are well intentions that just didnt get carried out so it's ok. you get that sense.
or, i would just say in the middle of convo 'hold on, let me get you a chair or something...' or something like that. it's all case by case.

 

[JayJay]

If I'm in a restaurant or coffee shop then I remain seated presuming that the person would move on shortly.

 

[sonick]

I think it's much more awkward for the person sitting down than the one standing.

 

[KenN]

Develop the habit of a hug, kiss or a handshake, that'll put you on level grounds with whoever you are talking to. But if the conversation is unexpected and you were caught off-guard then I personally don't think you are obliged to stand.

 

[Hans]

If she stopped at your table (rather than waved at you from a distance) then you ought to have stood up immediately, even if it is "just" to say hello to her. To remain seated is rude.

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by Hans

If she stopped at your table (rather than waved at you from a distance) then you ought to have stood up immediately, even if it is "just" to say hello to her. To remain seated is rude.

not it's not. it all depends. you can wave hello from your seat if youre in a booth no problem. and really depends on who youre greeting too. again, it is all in the situation.

 

[Hans]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

not it's not. it all depends. you can wave hello from your seat if youre in a booth no problem. and really depends on who youre greeting too. again, it is all in the situation.

You are right that it depends on the person, but the OP *did* say that she was a lady, not some random party chick. Always get up for girls with pearls!

 

[westinghouse]

And not being a gentleman by refusing to stand up helps your chances with women exactly how? That is why we're dressing up; to...meet...women, right?

Lots of scary answers here.

 

[unjung]

I stand to shake hands, that's it.

 

[Matt]

i double kiss all women and shake hands/bro hug basically every dude.....which solves the issue.

 

[dbc]

If she doesn't sit down after like 30 seconds, I'd stand up.

 

[erdawe]

How long? If the exchange is quick and you were sitting down before she came in just makes sense to keep the current positions. If the conversations continues ask her if she wants to sit and continue (could be done jokingly).
I wouldn't just get up, for the sake of getting up after starting the exchange. So, your intstincts were right there at least, even if you were slighly uncomfortable.

 

[Hombre Secreto]

After the awkward minutes... you should of asked her to sit down, and offered to buy her some coffee if you felt that weird about the situation.

 

[FLMountainMan]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

pissed myself off. friend of my wife's (wife of a friend) comes into the coffee shop and I say hello, and she stops to ask me a question. I didn't pop to my feet when she came in, jsut to say hello, but then it developed into a conversation. I really felt ackward talkig to her with me sitting and her standing, but I also felt that she would find it ackward if I popped to my feet after a minutes of talking.

anybody else feel bad about getting in that situation?

I do this a lot. I was raised to always stand up when a lady entered the room, and none of the men/boys sat down for dinner until my mom and sister sat down. My first few months in the real world, it was tough to have all female bosses. They'd come into a meeting and I'd stand up everytime. I had to force myself to break that habit.

I can see your unease there. As Hombre said, the best thing to do would be to ask her to sit down and then maybe make a self-deprecating joke about chivalry or something.