Soul Mates: Do You Believe in Them?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Neo_Version 7, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. Master-Classter

    Master-Classter Senior member

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    don't get me wrong, I do believe in Love, but I see love as a state of a relationship and we have many many different types and a large number of them.

    I do also to some extent believe in love at first sight. I can tell you that when I meet someone it's rare, but when it does happen I know within even a few minutes that there's something potentially very special there.

    to add some fuel to my first point earlier, they say the person you divorce is not the person you marry...
     


  2. Sazerac

    Sazerac Senior member

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    don't get me wrong, I do believe in Love, but I see love as a state of a relationship and we have many many different types and a large number of them. I do also to some extent believe in love at first sight. I can tell you that when I meet someone it's rare, but when it does happen I know within even a few minutes that there's something potentially very special there. to add some fuel to my first point earlier, they say the person you divorce is not the person you marry...
    You've put out some pretty wise statements in this thread. I agree, incidentally. I do think romantic love is real, but mostly temporary, lasting a few years at most. Another kind of love develops in a good marriage, given enough time and matrices of compatibility. It might be as simple as chemistry, though I don't pretend to know that. The theory is that the levels of endorphins, adrenaline, dopamine, etc., one feels when falling in love simply level out over time. It's the same way that smokers no longer get a buzz off a cigarette once they truly become smokers. If that's true (and I'm not sure it is) we can spend our whole lives chasing after that high or buzz again, only to become disillusioned when we don't find it. That's the materialist version. Another version would be that people change too much over time and what floats our boat at 25 almost certainly sinks like a stone at, say, 35. I, too, believe in love at first sight. It happens to me like every ten minutes.
     


  3. Raralith

    Raralith Senior member

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    As much as I love my wife, and how we really are each others true love, I definately don't believe in soul mates. This whole "meant to be" thing just isn't realistic because if I had walked down a different hall, or said something different to someone, we would have never met or had ever been introduced. Shoot, being happy in a relationship is sometimes hard to believe in regardless of how much you love if they piss you off.

    My idea of compatability includes sharing the same interests, hobbies, beliefs, and values. I also believe similar socioeconomic backgrounds and cultures play a part in who we end up with. The couples I mentioned seem to share none of these things.

    Soul mates and compatability aren't mutually exclusive as far as I'm concerned.


    I'm actually surprised when two people that share so many things are easily compatable though I know it obviously happens. My wife and I are two completely different people, and everything from our childhood to our thoughts on the future are so radically different but that's why we are so happy together. For example, our hobbies are completely different, but for us, it means that we get into each others hobbies so we have twice amount of things to do. I would think life would be too complacent and content if we were similair.
     


  4. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    You've put out some pretty wise statements in this thread. I agree, incidentally.

    I do think romantic love is real, but mostly temporary, lasting a few years at most. Another kind of love develops in a good marriage, given enough time and matrices of compatibility.

    It might be as simple as chemistry, though I don't pretend to know that. The theory is that the levels of endorphins, adrenaline, dopamine, etc., one feels when falling in love simply level out over time. It's the same way that smokers no longer get a buzz off a cigarette once they truly become smokers. If that's true (and I'm not sure it is) we can spend our whole lives chasing after that high or buzz again, only to become disillusioned when we don't find it.

    That's the materialist version.

    Another version would be that people change too much over time and what floats our boat at 25 almost certainly sinks like a stone at, say, 35.

    I, too, believe in love at first sight. It happens to me like every ten minutes.


    I think the love at first sight you refer to is infatuation.
    Love takes time, and a deep understanding of a whole lot more than how a person looks.
     


  5. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    I think the love at first sight you refer to is infatuation.
    Love takes time, and a deep understanding of a whole lot more than how a person looks.


    Yes, but people are generally disinclined to put in that time unless they start with infatuation. Infatuation is a powerful incentive to start a relationship and stick with it. Of course, love also blossoms between long-time friends/acquaintances because their regular proximity provides a framework for reaching a deeper understanding without requiring erotic fascination as a starting point. Your best bet still remains a combination of mutual infatuation and reasonable proximity.

    I don't think couples start off as "soul mates," but rather become "soul mates" as they grow together.
     


  6. Sazerac

    Sazerac Senior member

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    I think the love at first sight you refer to is infatuation.
    Love takes time, and a deep understanding of a whole lot more than how a person looks.


    I was being a little facetious. But I would regard infatuation as a form of love, if only a short-lived version. Also, one has to take the idea of context. That is, when I see a gorgeous Parisian woman sitting at a cafe table reading a book I also adore, then yes, I think it's safe to say I am in love -- with what I see and what I'm able to tell about her. Of course, she might be an utter idiot, or shallow, or dull, but I won't know those things until I find out. If the other stuff is there too, I'll stay in love. If not, not.
     


  7. Geoff Gander

    Geoff Gander Senior member

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    I think the love at first sight you refer to is infatuation.
    Love takes time, and a deep understanding of a whole lot more than how a person looks.


    +1000

    Infatuation is Mother Nature's way of getting you to approach the opposite sex, with reproduction being the end game (modified by factors such as when she's ovulating, etc). Horribly unromantic, I know, but in many ways we're little more than meat robots, operating according to well-established programs that constantly run in the background.

    Once you get over the infatuation buzz, and see your love as the person he/she really is and truly get to know them - and more importantly accept them - then, IMO, you can truly say you love them.

    I tend to believe that there are certain personality types are more compatible than others, and given that personalities are *fairly* evenly distributed across the populace, I can't really believe in the concept of a single soul mate being your ideal match.
     


  8. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    Neo, I'm afraid Emma Watson's people should be on high alert because of this thread.
     


  9. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    Love hurts whether it's right or wrong.
     


  10. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    Love hurts whether it's right or wrong.

    I feel ya, man. Right now, you're the index and middle finger, but I want you to be the ring and pinky finger . . .

    [​IMG]
     


  11. freeAgent

    freeAgent Senior member

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    Belief in soulmates is depressing. What happens if my soulmate dies? Am I just destined to spend the rest of my life unfulfilled? Believing in soulmates is like believing in predestination: stupid.
     


  12. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    Belief in soulmates is depressing. What happens if my soulmate dies? Am I just destined to spend the rest of my life unfulfilled? Believing in soulmates is like believing in predestination: stupid.

    Tell that to all those stupid physicists.
     


  13. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    ...Am I just destined to spend the rest of my life unfulfilled?...
    Now that you have 100 posts, you can get into CE, so your life will certainly be fulfilled.
     


  14. L.R.

    L.R. Senior member

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    Now that you have 100 posts, you can get into CE, so your life will certainly be fulfilled.

    After 100, it's all downhill.

    Though I'm told it picks up again after 5k.
     


  15. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    After 100, it's all downhill.

    Though I'm told it picks up again after 5k.


    Don't buy into the Big Lie.
     


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