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Some dude grabbed my wife's ass

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by distinctive, Oct 13, 2008.

  1. Brian278

    Brian278 Senior member

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    There is something extraordinarily backwards, cro-magnonesque and mysoginistic about a man completely over-reacting about anything surrounding his female...

    (no please - don't break my knee caps)


    We may be in the 21st century but you're never going to get around the fact that men are still bigger than women, and this will always have an effect on our gender roles. If she could've turned around and knocked him out there's a pretty good chance the guy wouldn't have touched her in the first place. If some chick grabbed his crotch, do you think his wife wouldn't have been plenty upset?
     
  2. VKK3450

    VKK3450 Senior member

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    Shit is not cool even when it is ass-grabbing. But excusing it is even worse. So if you take a wrong turn and end up in the ghetto you deserve to be shot? Or if a girl wears a low-cut dress she is asking, nee begging, to get raped?

    Overall, teach him a lesson. Your reaction was warranted at the very least.


    God, are you even trying that bullshit? You may think that switching out the word rape in my post is witty and clever, but it's just putting words in my mouth in an attempt to use a dramatic tactic instead of a real argument.

    I said clearly that I don't approve of any woman being molested, but if you conciously decide to hang out in a place that is known for and frequented for a bit of grab ass then you need to accept that it might happen.

    Even though I am straight I have been to gay clubs which are known for being meat markets where people get quite physical. I go (with gay friends) knowing this, and when my ass gets grabbed, I accept that it comes as part of the package (no pun). I also clearly said that the OP was right in confronting him, but this jackass mentality of "aint no-one gonna touch my woman" (coming more from the peanut gallery responses to this thread than the OP) is neanderthal.

    No, I don't condone guys grabbing my girlfriend's ass, but if I were to take her to a Belushis or Walkabout (crap London bars with ass grabbing atmospheres), then both she and I would go knowing that either one of our asses might get grabbed. She is also grown woman who knows how to handle herself and doesnt have to come running for help when the some guy at the bar gets slightly out of line.

    K
     
  3. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    Brian - the operative part of my sentence you quoted is "over-reacting". I never said men shouldn't protect or defend their girlfriends and wives. I'm saying all that humongus pile of BS about breaking someone's fingers because he said something you didn't like about your girl is (a) completely inappropriate, an over-reaction and most likely a misdemeanor, and (b) mysoginistic - she can insult the guy, ask him to apologize, slap him... Taking over her due response is treating your wife like a piece of property, not like her own person.

    BTW, I don't think the OP's reaction went too far. But the rest of the crap posted in the thread is way too ITG for me, not to mention it is terrible advice for readers. (again, please don't crush my skull with your finger, bmulford)
     
  4. Brian278

    Brian278 Senior member

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    Brian - the operative part of my sentence you quoted is "over-reacting". I never said men shouldn't protect or defend their girlfriends and wives. I'm saying all that humongus pile of BS about breaking someone's fingers because he said something you didn't like about your girl is (a) completely inappropriate, an over-reaction and most likely a misdemeanor, and (b) mysoginistic - she can insult the guy, ask him to apologize, slap him... Taking over her due response is treating your wife like a piece of property, not like her own person.

    BTW, I don't think the OP's reaction went too far. But the rest of the crap posted in the thread is way too ITG for me, not to mention it is terrible advice for readers. (again, please don't crush my skull with your finger, bmulford)


    Fair enough, though obviously your going against very ingrained cultural (and many would argue biological) gender roles. Part of me agrees with you, part of me thinks that any guy that grabs the ass of another dude's wife deserves whatever he gets.
     
  5. Hard2Fit

    Hard2Fit Senior member

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    The operative question here is how attractive is your wife? If she's 'super hot' and looks great in tight jeans then I don't think you can expect to take her anywhere alcohol is served without somebody grabbing for her ass. You might as well leave her locked in the basement/kitchen/bedroom. . . [​IMG]
     
  6. Shikar

    Shikar Senior member

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    In Pakistan the guy would be dog food.

    Likely get his ass kicked.

    In Pakistan his wife would be home cooking dinner not hanging out in the bar drinking after the game.
    K


    U should get out more.....outside of CNN/Fox news.

    Regards. A Pakistani American.
     
  7. Hard2Fit

    Hard2Fit Senior member

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  8. VKK3450

    VKK3450 Senior member

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    U should get out more.....outside of CNN/Fox news.

    Regards. A Pakistani American.



    I was joking in response to what I took as a joke from johnapril. And anyways we dont get CNN or Fox news here.

    Regards,

    Someone who is partially from the sub-continent
     
  9. mano

    mano Senior member

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    If the guy had apologized after his wife said something to him or even when confronted by her husband then it wouldn't have been an issue. He crossed a line.

    Not specific to this situation, but married women sometimes do like it when a guy hits on them.

    Years ago I was at a club dancing with a woman and began grinding against her. She liked it so I felt her boobs and nipples (she was braless) and she began groaning. I French kissed her and told her I wanted to kiss her just like that right between her legs. She pushed her chest against my hand and then I said I wanted to be inside her. She kissed me!

    Just as things were getting going a guy comes up to us, clearly drunk and said he was her husband. I backed off, said, "Sorry" and walked away. I'm not a big guy at all but I'm a lover, not a fighter. [​IMG]
     
  10. TyCooN

    TyCooN Senior member

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    Don't bring your wife to a bar with you.
    If the guy had apologized after his wife said something to him or even when confronted by her husband then it wouldn't have been an issue. He crossed a line. Not specific to this situation, but married women sometimes do like it when a guy hits on them. Years ago I was at a club dancing with a woman and began grinding against her. She liked it so I felt her boobs and nipples (she was braless) and she began groaning. I French kissed her and told her I wanted to kiss her just like that right between her legs. She pushed her chest against my hand and then I said I wanted to be inside her. She kissed me! Just as things were getting going a guy comes up to us, clearly drunk and said he was her husband. I backed off, said, "Sorry" and walked away. I'm not a big guy at all but I'm a lover, not a fighter. [​IMG]
    so did he end up giving his wife a beating? [​IMG]
     
  11. Hard2Fit

    Hard2Fit Senior member

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    If the guy had apologized after his wife said something to him or even when confronted by her husband then it wouldn't have been an issue. He crossed a line.

    Not specific to this situation, but married women sometimes do like it when a guy hits on them.

    Years ago I was at a club dancing with a woman and began grinding against her. She liked it so I felt her boobs and nipples (she was braless) and she began groaning. I French kissed her and told her I wanted to kiss her just like that right between her legs. She pushed her chest against my hand and then I said I wanted to be inside her. She kissed me!

    Just as things were getting going a guy comes up to us, clearly drunk and said he was her husband. I backed off, said, "Sorry" and walked away. I'm not a big guy at all but I'm a lover, not a fighter. [​IMG]


    That's hot stuff.
    You should write for Penthouse.
    FWIW, what you described seems like a pretty clear reciprocation of interest by way of a variety of signals.
    Very different from what the OP described.
     
  12. mr.loverman

    mr.loverman Senior member

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    i would have walked up to the side of the dude and whispered some fucked up shit in his ear then done a choke slam hip throw
     
  13. bmulford

    bmulford Senior member

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    BTW, I don't think the OP's reaction went too far. But the rest of the crap posted in the thread is way too ITG for me, not to mention it is terrible advice for readers. (again, please don't crush my skull with your finger, bmulford)

    I can agree with you now, in hindsight it was rash and uncalled for. The guy was an ass, and was trying to pick a fight. I gave in and gave it to him, just not as he expected.

    There was a time when I was younger, and a bit more reactive to such situations. Today I'd avoid the scene completely, or just brush it off. I am an overly protective guy when it comes to my family, having been on the recieving end of much violence growing up. I know what can happen when you allow people to impose themselves upon you. Sometimes, when you ignore an insult or a shove, it actually invites more serious harm. My intinctive reaction is to nip it in the bud right there.

    Not sure what ITG means, but I realize my post could be construed as advice. I rescind what I posted, not because it didn't happen, but because I wouldn't want anyone to emulate that behavior.
     
  14. Mr T

    Mr T Senior member

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    You were watching a football game and she interrupted it?
     
  15. Concordia

    Concordia Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    How would you have handled the situation?

    Made him give it back.
     
  16. deaddog

    deaddog Senior member

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    I strongly advise that you guys who like to throw the first punch (or execute the first throw or other physical conduct) in response to offensive statements or even physical conduct that does not objectively create a reasonable apprehension of harm (the OP story is a good example) always carry with you the phone number of an excellent criminal defense attorney. You will need it - and, BTW, when the drunk frat boy dies after hitting his head on the edge of bar on the way down after your throw, you are looking at some lengthy prison time.

    Seriously, macho shit is fun and satisfying but its cost to you and society is potentially huge.
     
  17. Charlie Big Potato

    Charlie Big Potato Well-Known Member

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    Let me get this straight,

    you went out to a bar...

    in Athens, a notorious college partytown...

    and a hell of a meatmarket...

    after a big game...

    and you threw a guy into the bar because he grabbed your admittedly drama queen wife's ass?

    If you and your wife are that sensitive then you probably dont need to put yourself in those kinds of environments. I'm not condoning guys molesting your wife or any women, but ass grabbing in those situations is something that happens in college town bars. Guys grab girls asses. Girls grab guys asses. Everyone dances and does another shot.

    At least those were the kind of college bars I used to hang out in when going to visit friends in Athens. Maybe you were in some grown up bar where more civilized behaviour would be expected, but if dudes were drinking PBR and watchin the game then it doesnt sound like it to me.

    K




    +1

    I'd normally say kick his ass sea bass, but I think the context suggests you assumed the risk by the location where it happened.
     
  18. voxsartoria

    voxsartoria Senior member

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    I can agree with you now, in hindsight it was rash and uncalled for. The guy was an ass, and was trying to pick a fight. I gave in and gave it to him, just not as he expected.

    There was a time when I was younger, and a bit more reactive to such situations. Today I'd avoid the scene completely, or just brush it off. I am an overly protective guy when it comes to my family, having been on the recieving end of much violence growing up. I know what can happen when you allow people to impose themselves upon you. Sometimes, when you ignore an insult or a shove, it actually invites more serious harm. My intinctive reaction is to nip it in the bud right there. In this case the guy in question happened to try and bum rush and headbutt me. Fortuneately, he didn't do it correctly and ended up with his arms around my midsection in a bearhug. Anyone who has ever wreslted knows you can control the wrist and have unfettered access to fingers. I simply popped his three accessible fingers out of joint. Its a great way to stop a fight.

    Not sure what ITG means, but I realize my post could be construed as advice. I rescind what I posted, not because it didn't happen, but because I wouldn't want anyone to emulate that behavior.


    There is a lot of earned wisdom in your response.

    - B
     
  19. mr.loverman

    mr.loverman Senior member

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    on second thought, an open palm or backhand slap will put a pan in his place better than anything
     
  20. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    I agree with Greg, but then I'm a pussy too. [​IMG]

    Seriously though, there are no upsides to starting a fight with a stranger. You could get stabbed, severely beaten by his friends, shot, or arrested. All of those things could change your life forever and people are just too crazy in this day and age to assume that any of those things will not happen.

    I have a second cousin that was just WATCHING a fight outside a bar in London and he got knocked over, fell on the curb, and snapped his neck. At 23 he's paralyzed because of a freak accident that occured because of drunken violence outside a bar. Now I know that some jackass that grabbed your wife's ass isn't worth any consideration, but what would have happened if he'd landed badly and snapped his neck on a barstool or something? It's unlikely, but unlikely things can happen in physical confrontations. The cops wouldn't care that he grabbed your wife's ass. Or even worse, it could have happened to you. When you compare the downside to the small upside of your wife maybe being happy you stood-up for her, it's a no-brainer.

    I agree that you were within your right, and I certainly wouldn't feel badly about it, but I would act differently in the future.
     

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