Some dude grabbed my wife's ass

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by distinctive, Oct 13, 2008.

  1. Mauby

    Mauby Senior member

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    And, I think you deserve congratulations for having a wife with an ass worth grabbing.

    This thread is useless without pics.

    Too funny.
     


  2. Dashing1

    Dashing1 Senior member

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    Perhaps I should have challenged him to a duel.

    How would you feel, morally, if someone grabbed your wife's (or boyfriend's) ass?


    I had a similar instance with a girlfriend once being grabbed (by the bouncer, no less).

    I casually ordered a double watermelon (tho' any red drink would have done), walked in front of the guy, "accidentally" stumbled & pitched the drink on him, drenching his white outfit. (perhaps a less than subtle invite to a "duel")

    He asked me what the deal was, and I told him that I must have been flustered thinking about the little twit who had grabbed my gal's arse. He insisted we go outside to settle the matter and tried to push me from behind as we walked out.

    As a former boxing champ and a gentleman always interested in a fisticuff adventure (when challenged), I complied and kept my composure. As he got in my face, I asked him a question:

    "What is 19 inches and bangs pussies?"

    He drew in closer as I took the index finger on my right hand, traced a circle around the circumference of my left (19-inch) bicep and then, upon finishing the tracing, transformed the move into a sharp, short punch to the nose, whereupon (while his nose detonated in blood) I exclaimed, "Bang!"

    He got the message. I left satisfied.
     


  3. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    ^Oh man, you are so badass. Totally cool, brah!
     


  4. Nouveau Pauvre

    Nouveau Pauvre Senior member

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    ^^ lulz. I had no idea Steven Seagal was up on SF. Waddup Steve? Your blues album was surprisingly sick.
     


  5. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt The Liberator Dubiously Honored

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    Grown men fighting is the height of foolishness.


    You spoke to soon, my friend.

    I had a similar instance with a girlfriend once being grabbed (by the bouncer, no less).

    I casually ordered a double watermelon (tho' any red drink would have done), walked in front of the guy, "accidentally" stumbled & pitched the drink on him, drenching his white outfit. (perhaps a less than subtle invite to a "duel")

    He asked me what the deal was, and I told him that I must have been flustered thinking about the little twit who had grabbed my gal's arse. He insisted we go outside to settle the matter and tried to push me from behind as we walked out.

    As a former boxing champ and a gentleman always interested in a fisticuff adventure (when challenged), I complied and kept my composure. As he got in my face, I asked him a question:

    "What is 19 inches and bangs pussies?"

    He drew in closer as I took the index finger on my right hand, traced a circle around the circumference of my left (19-inch) bicep and then, upon finishing the tracing, transformed the move into a sharp, short punch to the nose, whereupon (while his nose detonated in blood) I exclaimed, "Bang!"

    He got the message. I left satisfied.


    Grown men talking about fighting is the height of foolishness.
     


  6. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff grrrrrrrr!!

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    dam you the man. the 'former boxing champ' gets riled up enough to go through the effort of buying a couple of drinks to spill on another guy.
    small time.



    and why is it everytime i hear about some guy barking like he is going to get into a brawl or something, he coincidentally announces that he is some former boxing champ or prize fighter?
    like if he really was he would just avoid the situation, as they usually get paid to fight.
     


  7. Fuuma

    Fuuma Franchouillard Modasse

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    Perhaps I should have challenged him to a duel.

    How would you feel, morally, if someone grabbed your wife's (or boyfriend's) ass?


    I'd feel that wasn't appropriate, the rest would be for the GF to decide. I ask females their opinion from time to time, just to keep them on their toes.

    Who am I kidding, everyone knows I'd have used my Kraft Magoo to kill everyone in the bar, just to make sure I got my point across. In fact I was just down at the convenience store and the guy asked me if I wanted Gauloises red (I smoke the blue ones), I beat him and his family to teach them some respect, these Paki fucks!!
     


  8. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    In fact I was just down at the convenience store and the guy asked me if I wanted Gauloises red (I smoke the blue ones), I beat him and his family to teach them some respect, these Paki fucks!!

    I think you were entirely justified in that. +1. Exactly what I'd have done. What did that guy expect was going to happen?
     


  9. Dashing1

    Dashing1 Senior member

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    The key was that the other guy needed to feel (and look like the putz) he was. Mission accomplished.

    As to the "boxer" reference, I merely mentioned it to note that I am fairly handy with my fists. I, like most of the guys I used to train with, am very infrequently involved in fights. Getting assaulted first or having a woman assaulted in any way generally are the only provocations.

    I, of course, realize that humilty is only one unblocked sucker puch away. This incident was certainly in a younger day. Bar fights generally ARE stupid, as the strongest man can be subdued by some weasel swinging a beer bottle. I have too much to lose to trifle, anymore, with very few exceptions to that rule.
     


  10. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt The Liberator Dubiously Honored

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    I beat him and his family to teach them some respect, these Paki fucks!!

    First the G33k and now you. What is happening to our Canadians?
     


  11. Fuuma

    Fuuma Franchouillard Modasse

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    The key was that the other guy needed to feel (and look like the putz) he was. Mission accomplished. As to the "boxer" reference, I merely mentioned it to note that I am fairly handy with my fists. I, like most of the guys I used to train with, am very infrequently involved in fights. Getting assaulted first or having a woman assaulted in any way generally are the only provocations. I, of course, realize that humilty is only one unblocked sucker puch away. This incident was certainly in a younger day. Bar fights generally ARE stupid, as the strongest man can be subdued by some weasel swinging a beer bottle. I have too much to lose to trifle, anymore, with very few exceptions to that rule.
    How humble of you to recognize that a massive machine of death and destruction such as yourself could possibly, god forbid, be downed by a lucky punch from some unworthy opponent. The other day I was fighting some Iraki insurgents on my way to the supermarket and had a brief moment of doubt such as the one you've experienced, still I heroically charged ahead and disposed of them, thus ensuring the safety of Kurdistan for the months to come. I bought eggplant at the supermarket, for those interested. The resulting salad was, of course, delicious. I assume you're all familiar with the humongous size of my penis?
     


  12. GoSurface

    GoSurface Senior member

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    I keep reading 'grabbed' as 'stabbed.' Either way, a classy greeting this does not make.
     


  13. xchen

    xchen Senior member

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    I'm still interested in knowing which bar it was.
     


  14. Etienne

    Etienne Senior member

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    How would you feel, morally, if someone grabbed your wife's (or boyfriend's) ass?
    If the setting was similar to the one you were in, I'd feel the person grabbing is sleazy. If the setting was different, or if, as in your case, he compounded by not apologizing in anyway, I'd feel more strongly and say he's a douche.

    Since this is not a physical threat, I would probably respond non-physically. Presumably after having discussed about the proper reaction with the gf (amazingly, I sometimes allow mine to have an opinion and express it).
     


  15. Dashing1

    Dashing1 Senior member

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    Sorry, fellas. Just meant to share a funny story about defending a woman's honor in past days. Didn't mean to offend or be overbearing.

    I don't post much on the Net & simply forgot a couple of basic rules:

    1. Everyone on the Net is 6 foot 5 inches tall and a bad man. Therefor, even true tales that are atypical sound made up. One's bona fides are unmeasurable. (No problem. My self-esteem is determined by personal fiat, and the polls are closed)

    2. One must know his audience. The story that is funny sitting around with the guys is considered overly-machismo when discussed in front of the girls. I had thought of this forum too much like a cigar room.

    I'll endeavor to be more genteel in story-telling for the fairer lads.[​IMG]
     


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