So this is me...

[Huntsman]

...and I am pretty agitated.

The Good: Have a good job at the 'perfect' sized company that makes stuff every US/UK/EU member here has seen, yet 99.5% of any room has never heard of us. My manager must be the most decent, human boss to have ever existed. I've been there a year or so to (mostly) acclaim, and have just signed my first round of US, EU, and Taiwan patents. Get to travel a little, which I love so much because I never had the chance. Live at home less than ten minutes from the office, so expenses equal nothing significant but $1k/mo to rapidly pay back my student loans. Am doing my Master's part time. If I get it and my PE in a decent timeframe, I'll have an excellent shot at my boss's job, say in the ten-year window.

The Bad: Am older than most with their first job as I dropped out of life for some time due to multiple seriously ill/elderly family members, a situation which, sadly, has diminished considerably. Consequently I always feel behind the curve. I hate that this is the worst class I have ever taken, that it destroys any joy I might try to find, as well as all my time. Likewise the Prof, who couldn't give me an extra day on the 1st homework on account of my grandfather dying with an out-of-state funeral, and the college's refusal to let me into the system to get the syllabus, hw, lecture notes, and readings for a week (the Prof ignored my phone message imploring him for help with that the day of the death). I am now a week behind and I will not catch up -- advanced mathematics is not art history. I likely won't get a B or better, so won't be reimbursed and will lose $3k+ for the class. I would graduate in late 2010 and can't even imagine three years of this.

The Ugly: I am girlfriendless with zero prospects at present and negative time to pursue anyway. And I am really lonely. When I had dreams, the last was to teach at the University level, so I need my Ph.D, and I have no idea how I can ever make that happen in Engineering with the way this is going. Engineering is seriously hard work, and life has worn me a lot in the last decade. I am quite competent at most everything I do, yet people always think I am better than even I think I am. Not being arrogant; it surprises me daily. I am fairly certain I could excel at anything that requires an organized mind capable of abstract thought, and further, that engineering is the most tiring of anything in that spectrum. And I am tired. Very tired.

Alternatively, MS Eng + MBA, or J.D. and IP law could make me quite a good deal of money, which would be more than acceptable. On wild days I think of chucking it all and getting a Ph.D in Philosophy and teaching that discipline, which I could do with comparative ease, and actually might do were it not for the $60k I owe for the undergrad degree.

This is all compounded by the wedding I just went to in Norwalk, during which I realized:

1. Damn, I need a girlfriend.
2. How badly I want a DB9 after seeing three (count 'em) F430s (zip, were you out and about around the Tappan Zee last weekend?) one F355, two SL65s, and one BMW M5 on the same trip.
3. That I really need to make some more money. Double my current salary in ten years, adjusted for inflation, would make me quite pleased (and give me a DB9 if I really want it).
4. Damn, I need a girlfriend, badly.

So yeah, another rant. There's other stuff going on, but that's too serious for the Web. I've a penny for anyone's two cents....

 

[matadorpoeta]

the thing is, and i'm sure you've heard this a million times, you have enjoy the process.

what would you enjoy studying/doing right now? study that. get into that.

for some reason it's a thousand times easier to get laid when you are not looking for a relationship. it's also easier to find a girlfriend when you are focussed on your professional life, and not thinking about needing a girlfriend. it's also easier to find a girlfriend if you are married, but i won't depress you further...

the main thing is, do what you enjoy, and you will eventually find your niche.

 

[chronoaug]

Originally Posted by Huntsman

I am quite competent at most everything I do, yet people always think I am better than even I think I am.
I feel the same way at times. Even when i get high marks on a research paper or essay, i feel like a fraud because it just didn't seem like it was good enough to me. Happens in other aspects of life as well. It's a very frustrating and confusing dilemma. There is nothing wrong with having high standards for yourself, but you have to cut yourself some slack every once in awhile. The girlfriend thing is rough i know. All i can say in that situation is to just make sure you're putting yourself out there and at least giving yourself a chance. To restate what the other guy said, you gotta make sure you can somewhat enjoy the path to your goal. If the goal is really worth achieving, sure it's going to be hard, but you just need to find a way to somehow lessen the bad on the way. That really is a ***** how poorly the school and professor acted in that situation though.

 

[odoreater]

Keep on keepin on man, that's really all I can say.

 

[Connemara]

I know people say this a lot, but after I met the happiest man alive (a high school teacher who just retired), I realized that it's not all about the money. This guy has never made over $100K a year but I swear to you that he is filled with so much life, so much energy, so much joy that it really doesn't matter.

 

[caelte]

You sound like your doing pretty well except for the tiredness.
You also sound like a very high-functioning fellow.

Don't seem to be many of your kind around, that's probably why everyone thinks your so good. You probably are.

Everyone, if they were honest, feels like you do at times.

Tiredness really makes the difference, you need a couple of days rest.

Getting laid would probably assist as well.

 

[visionology]

Do you really have time for a girlfriend? You mentioned you don't have time to pursue finding one, and if this is true, since girls require lots of attention on a full time basis it may not be wise to jump into something that you don't have the time to support.

It might just be a good time to increase your friend base and have some fun in what time you have, there are no commitments involved, and when you do have the time you can jump into the ol relationship game.

 

[DNW]

You sound tired. But persevere, my friend, and things will work out. If it's easy, everybody would be doing it.

If you can manage, clear up one weekend and go on a little road trip. It gives you time to clear your mind and refocus your energy. Plus, seeing how people on the street live their mundane and miserable lives will make you appreciate how good you have it. Your life is on the up and up, but for many others your age, they're at their peak.

As odoreater said, keep on keeping on, brother.

 

[Viktri]

I'm always worried about money. I turned out frugal. I've been taught that if I get a solid education now (in business, not sure about other disciplines) money will come. I believe this so I'm now willing to invest in clothes.

That said, even when I dressed like a clown I never had any difficulties with the girls other than the fact that they are 1) expensive 2) time-consuming and I was 1) cheap 2) time-strapped. Be cool around the girls and they will notice you. If they don't, those probably aren't the right girls for you. I don't think you should ever be anything you're not.

Btw, if you don't like advanced mathematics and are a week behind see if you're able to drop the course (with refund) and retake it later. I personally don't see 1 week as a big deal - few hours of extra studying - but I'm not in your situation so I don't know.

car: personally I want a jaguar/slk amg/sl amg or something special, I doubt I'd ever afford it though and I hate driving

I get my buddy to drive me (works out well since he drives an slk amg his parents bought him

)

 

[LabelKing]

Anyone can buy a Mercedes SL65, etc., but not everyone has the dedication to maintain a Jaguar V12.

 

[Viktri]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

Anyone can buy a Mercedes SL65, etc., but not everyone has the dedication to maintain a Jaguar V12.

Well said

 

[eg1]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

Anyone can buy a Mercedes SL65, etc., but not everyone has the dedication to maintain a Jaguar V12.

Nor the full-time mechanic in their own garage that it requires ...

Back to the OP. As I understand it, the point of an Engineering degree is that it is so damn difficult that everything else you ever do will seem easy by comparison. At some point you are going to have to decide whether or not your career is going to be solely for the purpose of making money (in which case any decision other than finance is absurd) or for some other highly personal sense of fulfillment. If the latter, nobody else is really much help because only you can decide what is going to intererest you enough to spend a lifetime on it.

 

[designprofessor]

Don't stop the track you're on. You are there for a reason, the main one being you worked to get where you are at in your education. Don't let the family /professor situation derail you. You know what you want at the end of this and it would be bad to bail on the momentum you do have. Learn to take the hit and keep going. Get this stuff done, then if you decide to change direction in career do so.
You will know at that point two things: 1.you can deal with the hard stuff life's gonna throw at you on the way to where you want to be and second, when you look in the mirror you will know that you can finish what you start. You'll get alot of peace of mind from these.

The women will be there. As a matter of fact they'll show up when you want them least - and then in multiples which will force you into a potentially nasty situation where trying to get all, pisses them off leaving you with none again

Stay with it, and good luck.

 

[Thomas]

H, It sounds like you've got compassion, a decent sense of self, and talent to spare. Keep your head up and your legs moving, and things will fall into place. Don't sweat the girlfriend thing - it happens when it happens, and thinking about it only makes it worse, and take longer. Remember to stop and smell the roses, cause these next few years will fly.

 

[Edward Appleby]

Dude, it sounds like you're doing alright. Just keep on trucking.

I might go against the flow a bit and suggest that, if you can do it without dropping any of the various balls you're juggling, you try to meet some women. Your post gives me the impression that you're getting into that mode where you haven't had a girl for a while and it's starting to bug you. No big deal. Just go meet some women (see the 10000000^100000000^100000000^1000000 [yay, power tower] threads on the subject.) Not necessarily anything serious, it'll just make you feel better to go out with them/have some sex.

Put another way, it seems like your fundamental life-course at this point is solid. I would try improving one part of your life (again, my suggestion would be women) and see if this doesn't make you feel much better.

As far as the college jerking you around, that really sounds a bit extreme. You might take a look at their various policy hanbooks and see if there isn't a stated exception for immediate family deaths and then go to the prof (or above his head) with this in hand.