So I got in a fight today, and now I wonder if I did the right thing

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by tiger02

What, now that you know what he was going through, being married and all?

No, just more cautious about getting involved in potentially dangerous situations - no more crazy mountain biking, feats of strength on Festivas, etc... I have told my stepson that if he as much as raises a hand to a woman/girl, that I will personally kick his ass into next week (not in so many words, though.)

Also, now that I think about it, maybe I should've not humiliated the guy (who had about 40 pounds and a few inches on me (I estimate he was about 6'1-6'2" and over 200 lbs - I was about 165 lbs at the time). If he came out of it looking tough, he probably would've had some of his steam blown off. Instead, unfortunately, he probably took it out on his wife. Of course, I am not that tough, and had no idea when the fight started how it was going to end up (unlike Matt's situation), so I just did what came naturally.

 

[Fabienne]

No, just more cautious about getting involved in potentially dangerous situations - no more crazy mountain biking, feats of strength on Festivas, etc... QUOTE]

Totally sympathize, and wait till you have your own child. No more perfecting my waltz or axel jumps.

 

[Get Smart]

Matt, good one. I agree you showed some proper restraint in the situation as it would have been easy to have kept pounding the guy.

 

[JBZ]

Hard call, but I think you did the right thing. You'd probably regret it more if you hadn't done anything.

You do have to be careful intervening in situations like this. Sometimes the victim can turn on their saviour (e.g. "don't you hit my husband!"). Something like this recently happened near where I live - a woman got into a fight with her fiance on the street, and he proceeded to jump in their car and drive off with her infant in the back seat (driving over her foot in the process). Some people on the street tried to intervene (one good Samaritan even reached her hand into the car to try and take the car keys, only to have her hand shut in the window - the guy then took this woman for a ride on the hood of the car onto the highway - she managed to walk away unhurt somehow).

Although the fiancee didn't physically attack anyone, at her fiance's court appearance, she said she loved her him, that she knew what he did was wrong, but that the good Samaritans on the street had really "crossed the line."

Something similar happened to me in college. I intervened in a situation like this (luckily no punches thrown), only to have the woman in question (a friend of mine) tell me that I had overstepped my bounds. This kind of pissed me off (but I had several guy friends reassure me that I did the right thing).

 

[Vintage Gent]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

I have told my stepson that if he as much as raises a hand to a woman/girl, that I will personally kick his ass into next week (not in so many words, though.)

Thereby showing him that violence is an acceptable means of resolving conflict?

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by Vintage Gent

Thereby showing him that violence is an acceptable means of resolving conflict?

No, it would show him that there are consequences for his actions. As for violence as an acceptable means of resolving conflict, imo, sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not.

 

[johnapril]

Every gentleman should walk around with a 5-mL injection of midazolam ready for such instances.

 

[Vintage Gent]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

No, it would show him that there are consequences for his actions. As for violence as an acceptable means of resolving conflict, imo, sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not.

I hear what you're saying. Still, violence can be a tricky thing. You've suggested that, by humiliating the punk beating up on his wife, you may have given him reason to go home and return the favor on her. And while I would frown on making comparisons with your stepson and this ruffian, might not a violent humiliation of your stepson have a similar effect?

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by Vintage Gent

I hear what you're saying. Still, violence can be a tricky thing. You've suggested that, by humiliating the punk beating up on his wife, you may have given him reason to go home and return the favor on her. And while I would frown on making comparisons with your stepson and this ruffian, might not a violent humiliation of your stepson have a similar effect?

A parent's perogative to discipline a child is quite different from a confrontation on the street. In any case, I think that the need to use corporal punishment varies from child to child, and that it should be used dispassionately.

 

[Martinis at 8]

Here's food for thought from a former "young hero". You beat on the guy, and as you are doing so, the woman jumps on your back. WTF?

(I am trying to rescue you!) You get her off your back and in the process she breaks her arm in the fall. The police come. Charges are pressed against you for assault. No witnesses speak up. You spend 24+ hours in jail waiting for US consulate type people to come and get you out. Your personal items are returned to you, but your wallet has lost its cash, and your credit cards are gone. Proabable Lesson: Be leary of helping trashy people in the streets. Sir Galahad is not always wanted. Cheers, M8

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

No, it would show him that there are consequences for his actions. As for violence as an acceptable means of resolving conflict, imo, sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not.


have to agree, with all aspects of this.

 

[VMan]

Violence works. That's it and that's all, end of discussion.

That it can work both ways, however, is a whole different matter.

 

[Tokyo Slim]

I thought chivalry was dead?

 

[LabelKing]

What do you think militant feminists would say?

 

[Nantucket Red]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

What do you think militant feminists would say?

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

But would they be right?