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Site Topics - Part II

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by j, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. sugarbutch

    sugarbutch Senior member Dubiously Honored

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  2. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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  3. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    I think we're on the same page. There's no use in sitting home all day completely isolated just so I can say I'm retired. I'm hopeful I'm doing enough to prepare, but we'll see. If not, I hope to have a skill that, like yours, can be used in a lower-responsibility/hours setting.


    Eh. I don't say that to be dramatic, or because it sounds like a good option. I just can't imagine burdening my kids like that. They have their own life to live, and it's not fair to put my needs on them. I'd rather just be gone than be a burden.
     
  4. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    So, to bring this thread back to its intended purpose, the "drafts" thing is interesting. Not a terrible idea, but it seems to create lag in the reply box, at least in some threads. Also, it messes with Chrome's "confirm navigation" box when I quote posts in my reply.
     
  5. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    i understand. did not think you were being dramatic. i would never want to be a burden to my kids either, financially or otherwise. but if there ever came a time that i needed help in my old age, i would hope they would want to care for me, and that it would not be a burden for them, but something they felt honored and happy to do.

    ---

    re: the draft thing. i noticed the save draft and delete draft buttons earlier today, but now they are gone.

    :confused:
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2013
  6. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    I consider frequent public embarrassment during her formative years to be a sufficient burden to to impose on my kid.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2013
    3 people like this.
  7. wurger

    wurger Senior member

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    same for me too, stitchy
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. otc

    otc Senior member

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    There is now a checkbox on the reply section with a "get notified when others reply" option. There seems to be various options in there...perhaps you accidentally scrolled it up to email immediately (or it defaulted to it).

    I have always had it auto-subscribe to threads I post in...but without notification. Notifications would suck.
     
  9. Claghorn

    Claghorn Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    When my dad dies, my mom will move in with my wife and I. My grandmother recently moved in with my aunt and uncle; there was a bit of a scramble to see whom she moved in with as all three of her daughters wanted her (her son-in-laws as well, one of whom she's known since he was in high school). Mrs. C is excited about the prospect my mom living with us (though that's a good two decades away). I hope that when the time comes for one of us to move in with our children, they are equally excited.

    This whole idea of aging parents as a burden is a bit weird to me. I understand where it's coming from, but I think it may largely be limited to WASP America. My mom's side of the family is Mexican (and everyone loves Mexican grandmas). My wife is Korean and so expects parents and their adult children to be heavily involved in each others' lives. Stitchy, I imagine the Jewish community in America has a similar perception of aging parents?

    I'd also be interested in hearing acidboy's take on all this.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
  10. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    boom, you are awesome. looks like that was it. thanks!

    notifications are good for me on the threads i like, that often do not get a lot of posts, like this one. the notifications keeps apprised of the action.


    similar to what your perception is, yes. i mean, it all depends on circumstances. sometimes a very ill aged parent is not well enough to not be in a facility of some sort, and sometimes the children do not have the means or space or ability to take care of an aged parent without it causing huge stress for everyone, and in those cases, its not really helping anyone, imo, to take in a parent. but assuming the parent is well enough, and the child can handle taking them in, more often than not the child will be honored and happy to care for their parent in the jewish community.
     
  11. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    While small ethnic groups may vary somewhat, the declining number of elderly people living with their families is a (dis?)function of public policy, and is widely acknowledged to be so.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  12. aravenel

    aravenel Senior member

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    Interested to hear how this is so.

    (Seriously, not trying to trollbait here or anything, am genuinely curious)
     
  13. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    For 70 years we have told people in their working ages that they are fulfilling their duties to their elders by paying a certain kind of tax. If anything, we have continued to reinforce this message by pandering to the older demographic through other programs simply because they vote more, which identifies them as a group with excess power. Those two together have destroyed the traditional societal mandate to take care of your own elders. We tell people they have already done it, or even that somebody else is doing it, and that the elderly are powerful enough to get what they want without help.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  14. aravenel

    aravenel Senior member

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    Interesting, not sure I've ever looked at it that way. There are obviously a litany of problems around that whole process, but I don't think I've ever considered this as one of them.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    It's only a problem if you think it is one. A lot of people look at it as elderly independence.
     
  16. aravenel

    aravenel Senior member

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    Independence up to a point. I'm fine with able bodied elders living on their own if that's what they want to do. Go for it. I have more of a problem with elders who cannot live on their own, but do not yet have enough medical problems to really require being put in a home, being put in horrible assisted living places because their children don't want the inconvenience of having them live with them.

    At some point, many people have enough medical problems to warrant a serious assisted living situation, but prolonging that as long as possible is a good thing, IMO. Those places are for the most part awful.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. aravenel

    aravenel Senior member

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    More on topic, damn there are a lot of bugs with the site right now :(
     
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  18. Claghorn

    Claghorn Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I think cultural attitudes towards the nature of familial relationships are also a factor. Perhaps this was some of the impetus behind the need to provide such services.
     
  19. ethanm

    ethanm Senior member

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    This really has no place here but anyway America seems to be the only country where families are expected to cut each other off from 18-death. The fact that people my age have to move back in with their parents when just starting their careers is seen as this horrible thing is obscene. I think its good for the country and good for families. Why waste 1/2 of your entry level salary on city rent when you could live at a home for a year or two and build a savings base?
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
  20. in stitches

    in stitches Senior member Moderator

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    back to the subscriptions thing. so now, in every thread, the reply box has auto-checked to be subscribed if you post in it. and even if i uncheck it, when i return to the thread, its checked again. any way to make the default unchecked and unsubscribed?


    ---

    EMart - i lived at my parents until i was married, and then a few years into marriage we moved back in with 2 kids for a year, while our house was being built.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013

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