Signs that your local mall is going down the tubes

[Slopho]

Chris Rock said, "There are two types of malls, the ones white people go to and the ones white people use to go to." My local mall has fallen into the latter of these two categories. In that spirit I would like to give some warning signs of things to look out for just incase your mall follows suit.

1. Either a "As seen on TV" store or "Dollar Ocean/Everything for a Dollar" store springs up.

2. If there is a hood store. What is a hood store you ask? A hood store is a store where you can buy mixed tapes, the latest bum fights, ghetto brawls or stop snichin stop talkin DVDs. You can also purchase an M&Ms race car jacket, an air brushed T-shirt with Stewie from Family Guy wearing bling and grill, or have a shirt made with a picture of a dead friend, the years he lived and a saying he's famous for (Get up on him peanut!!).

3. Less than 98% nationally recognized stores. Nine West and Foot Locker give way to Fashion Shoe Hut and "Kicks".

4. Bad Mall Sandwich. A bad mall sandwich is when there is actually quality stores on both ends of the mall, but everything in the middle absolutely sucks.

5. There is a Foreign Cinema store on the premisis. Foreign Cinema kiosk are a bit more tricky, your mall could go either way.

6. If there is a place in your mall where you can pay a dollar a minute to get a massage, your mall is in trouble.

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

Is your local mall Lakeforest?

 

[rnoldh]

You have succeeded in describing Sharpstown Mall in Houston, Tx.

 

[GQgeek]

Malls have always sucked. There are probably a few of malls worldwide that do not suck.

 

[Slopho]

Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser

Is your local mall Lakeforest?

It certainly is. I'd rather spend my money in Maryland, but Tysons I and Tysons II are so far ahead of Montgomery Mall.

 

[spertia]

My local mall is home to a US Armed Forces Recruiting office. "Hey, let's go grab some sneakers at Foot Locker and then join the navy!" One of the anchor stores is a Big Lots. It's right next to Goody's.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

Malls have always sucked. There are probably a few of malls worldwide that do not suck.

It depends what you call "a mall" I think. I've been to some very nice places with "mall" in their title. I'm not arguing, that 99.99% of places referred as "malls" suck though.

 

[JayJay]

So you've been to Lafayette Square in Indianapolis? There is also a church where an anchor store used to be.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

I don't really like malls but like GQgeek said, there are some that don't suck. For example, I'm partial to the malls in the Philippines (when not full -- which is rarely) and The Mall in Athens.

 

[Steve Smith]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

I don't really like malls but like GQgeek said, there are some that don't suck. For example, I'm partial to the malls in the Philippines (when not full -- which is rarely) and The Mall in Athens.

Last month during a visit I went to the SM mall in Makati. Neat place. I was struck by the fact that sales attendants outnumbered customers by about 3 to 1 when I was there.

 

[Slopho]

Originally Posted by Slopho

It certainly is. I'd rather spend my money in Maryland, but Tysons I and Tysons II are so far ahead of Montgomery Mall.

My gf pointed out tonight that although Montgomery Mall has a kick ass Nordstrom, they also do teeth cleaning at a kiosk in the middle of the mall.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

It depends what you call "a mall" I think. I've been to some very nice places with "mall" in their title. I'm not arguing, that 99.99% of places referred as "malls" suck though.

Shopping, to me, is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Most malls, with all of their crowds, ****** stores and annoying sales people, do not provide that atmosphere. By contrast, visiting the tailor/shirt maker/high-end retail store is almost always fun and relaxing. I haven't stepped foot inside a mall to buy clothes in several years. Hopefully life will continue to be good to me and i'll never have to in the future, either.

 

[tiecollector]

Only thing I've noticed around is that one mall went from BR to GAP to Old Navy as their highest end store.

The Great Mall in Milpitas really is the epitome of a trashy mall.

 

[cheessus]

I'm from Northern Virginia (Fairfax/McLean area), and so Tysons I and II are what I grew up knowing malls to be. And even then I think that Tysons I sucks (mainly because of the crowd).

Now I live in the South Bay area, where there seems to be a mall every 10 miles. Now I never want to step in a mall again.

 

[aging in rhythm]

The great mall in millpitas is pretty trashy, but they have a glow in the dark miniature golf course!!!

In the South Bay, Stanford and Valley Fair/Santana Row are pretty solid. I haven't been to Vallco ever.