Because it's always fun to think them up for others, here's a few clever comebacks: "Pale? I am pale. I'm white. Is everyone who works in this store a racist?" (Last part said really loudly, assuming you are white). "That jacket (or whatever he's wearing) makes you look like a pompous buffoon." "My wife/mother just died of cancer. I guess I wasn't thinking when I got dressed." (Headbutt) "You have blood on your shirt."