Scandinavian Prisons

[Aperipan]

Has anyone ever been in one? I just got in a conversation with a buddy who claimed that it's much better there than here. Well, where are the pictures? I'd like to think it's just a myth since it's freaking prison! But someone proves me wrong?

 

[texas_jack]

I think you have to go to the 3rd world to find prisons worse than ours.

 

[rnoldh]

I did 20 years in a Malmo prison for murdering a Turk after he tried to use loaded dice in a nice little game in Stockholm.

All in all prison wasn't too bad. Excellent cuisine but a bit boring. Fine meats and fresh fruits and vegetables but no variety. They could have done Chinese or Tex-Mex occasionally.

Wines were excellent, though too many whites and not enough attention paid to the vintages!

The women were fine but again they lacked variety. Nothing but gorgeous blue eyed Swedish blondes ( think of women like Tiger Woods wife ). But it was just a job to them.

Medical and dental insurance were very good. But even though they pay prisoners about 200X the American rate for your work in prison, they kept raising the deductibles! Very annoying.

Cells and physical facilities were fine. Furnishings seemed like mostly Danish modern, but it worked well in Malmo. And the Bang and Olafson electronics provided to all inmates were a very nice touch.

The 20 years just seemed to fly by. If you gotta do time, I'd highly recommend Sweden. I hear that Monaco is a very nice place to do your time too.

 

[redcaimen]

Originally Posted by texas_jack

I think you have to go to the 3rd world to find prisons worse than ours.

I think you are right. Ours are an odd combination of absurd solicitousness and callous neglect.

 

[SwedishFish]

Don't even get me started.

Let's just say that our equivalents of prison guards are called "prisoner caretakers". No cell sharing, prisoners' unions, "ensuite" TVs, better food than in retirement homes and schools. It's absolutely insane.

Oh, btw, a few years ago we had a wave of prison breaks as prisoners figured out that there were emergency levers on top of the prison gates so they just started opening gates and escaping. This happened because prisoners can pretty much roam about freely and the "prisoner caretakers" are not allowed to carry weapons.

Supposedly, some poor people from the old Soviet bloc travel to sweden and commit crimes just to get imprisoned because the quality of life in Swedish prisons is better than what they have at home.

 

[B2C2V]

Sound like a motivation to commit a crime in Sweden... Compared to welfare in Sweden, which one is better off, putting aside the freedom factor?

 

[SwedishFish]

Welfare. You will earn a better income not working than working a low income job, e.g. McDonalds or entry-level retail. If you qualify for a housing subsidy, you can live pretty comfortable of off other peoples' hard earned dough. Btw, I found this image of a Swedish prison cell...

Slightly crappier room, but still ok: http://www.kriminalvarden.se/templat...l.aspx?id=2290

 

[Connemara]

It's like a dorm room! Awesome!

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by SwedishFish

Welfare. You will earn a better income not working than working a low income job, e.g. McDonalds or entry-level retail. If you qualify for a housing subsidy, you can live pretty comfortable of off other peoples' hard earned dough.

Btw, I found this image of a Swedish prison cell...

Slightly crappier room, but still ok: http://www.kriminalvarden.se/templat...l.aspx?id=2290

omg is that for real?

 

[SwedishFish]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

omg is that for real?

I am afraid it is.

 

[Aperipan]

Originally Posted by SwedishFish

Don't even get me started.

Let's just say that our equivalents of prison guards are called "prisoner caretakers". No cell sharing, prisoners' unions, "ensuite" TVs, better food than in retirement homes and schools. It's absolutely insane.

Oh, btw, a few years ago we had a wave of prison breaks as prisoners figured out that there were emergency levers on top of the prison gates so they just started opening gates and escaping. This happened because prisoners can pretty much roam about freely and the "prisoner caretakers" are not allowed to carry weapons.

Supposedly, some poor people from the old Soviet bloc travel to sweden and commit crimes just to get imprisoned because the quality of life in Swedish prisons is better than what they have at home.

I heard the same for Norway. Has it always been like this for Sweden?

 

[Aperipan]

Originally Posted by SwedishFish

I am afraid it is.
if that's prison, then jail must be a few stars up in quality.

I can't wait to commit a crime [make it serious] in Sweden.

 

[SwedishFish]

Originally Posted by Aperipan

I heard the same for Norway. Has it always been like this for Sweden?
Don't know. It probably began with the socialists in the 60s or 70s. Apparently the proper English word for our equivalent of the word "prisoner" is not "prisoner" but "client": http://www.kriminalvarden.se/templat...l____4215.aspx. From the same page: Foreign citizens In 2006, the number of foreign citizens in prison was 2,903 or 28 per cent. Of these, 5 per cent were women. 114 countries were represented. 24 per cent of the prison population have a deportation order as part of their sentence. This means that after they have completed their sentence they will be expelled to their country of origin. This stuff makes my blood boil.

 

[Hard2Fit]

Wow.

 

[MetroStyles]

Originally Posted by rnoldh

I did 20 years in a Malmo prison for murdering a Turk after he tried to use loaded dice in a nice little game in Stockholm.

All in all prison wasn't too bad. Excellent cuisine but a bit boring. Fine meats and fresh fruits and vegetables but no variety. They could have done Chinese or Tex-Mex occasionally.

Wines were excellent, though too many whites and not enough attention paid to the vintages!

The women were fine but again they lacked variety. Nothing but gorgeous blue eyed Swedish blondes ( think of women like Tiger Woods wife ). But it was just a job to them.

Medical and dental insurance were very good. But even though they pay prisoners about 200X the American rate for your work in prison, they kept raising the deductibles! Very annoying.

Cells and physical facilities were fine. Furnishings seemed like mostly Danish modern, but it worked well in Malmo. And the Bang and Olafson electronics provided to all inmates were a very nice touch.

The 20 years just seemed to fly by. If you gotta do time, I'd highly recommend Sweden. I hear that Monaco is a very nice place to do your time too.

Well done!