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Rules For Being A Man

Tck13

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I normally hate junk mail but a friend sent this and it's kinda funny (and sooooo true)...

* = may not apply to those of on Styleforum

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way. *

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. *

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. (or clothes?)

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

25. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 

GQgeek

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Most of that wouldn't apply to me. I love shopping, don't watch sports, and I'd never tell a woman she had too many clothes or shoes. I do however insist that they be well-dressed when we go out.

I guess i'm a girly-man. :p
 

skalogre

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Originally Posted by GQgeek
...I guess i'm a girly-man. :p
Democrat
tounge.gif
 

fatty

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Originally Posted by Tck13
22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.



This applies to many of the men on this forum.
 

thinman

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Originally Posted by *****
This applies to many of the men on this forum.

Au contraire! It's impossible to have enough clothes or too many shoes!!
laugh.gif
 

skalogre

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Originally Posted by *****
This applies to many of the men on this forum.

Well, well... that is just wrong!
 

Kent Wang

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Originally Posted by Tck13
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
I take pride in knowing many colours. I will even refer to colors by their hex triplet, e.g. mauve is E0B0FF.
 

ribaldi

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If a man needs a list of rules on being a man, then he's a pretty insecure individual.

Of course, I understand this was just an attempt at humor -- but so are beer commercials. This is basically a beer commercial without the beer.
 

shoreman1782

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These aren't at all rules for being a man. The OP listed things many men think that many women don't understand. Rules for being a man would be like

1. Have appropriate sexual organs.
2. Try to grow a beard at least once. If it doesn't work, don't try again.
Etc. I think it's Esquire that has/had an ongoing list of these that are occasionally funny and true and occasionally terrible.

I will say that 90% of my arguments with women come down to these two items.

5. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
 

Tck13

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Originally Posted by shoreman1782
These aren't at all rules for being a man.

Yeah, I didn't title it very well and unfortunately I can't change the title of the thread. I'll use the excuse: "it was late and I was tired".

I would imagine those that "don't need rules to be a man" didn't read my post (as you took the time to do).
smile.gif
 

lakewolf

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It is funny... I showed it to my gf and had a good laugh together
 

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