Relationship questions

[Ambulance Chaser]

I have two relationship questions that I was interested in getting opinions on: 1. Is it ever a good idea to ask out a woman with whom you have a semi-professional relationship (such as hairdresser, masseuse, personal shopper, personal trainer, etc.)? Â This seems like a gray area between asking out the cute girl who serves you lattes every morning at Starbucks (go for it.) and asking out your attorney (what are you crazy?). Â The big concern here is that if the personal relationship doesn't work out (or doesn't get started at all) the professional relationship could crash as well, which would be very unfortunate if she is good at what she does. 2. If the answer to question 1 is yes, what is the best way to determine her current availability without tipping your hand, keeping in mind that she makes frequent references to her ex? These questions are of course completely hypothetical and for discussion purposes only.

 

[parsonsdb]

C, I can find no reason for not asking this (hypothetical) girl out. Hey why not .? Also there is no reason that your asking her out could mess-up any form of the "semi-professional" relationship. ....... But for the availability question I haven't got the slights. Hope this helps answer the hypothetical question. \t\t\t\t\t\t\tParsonsdb

 

[GatorStyle]

Case by case basis, Ambulance.  Depends upon:

a.  The vibes.  If the hypothetical guy has a good sense that he'll get a 'yes,' there is absolutely no reason not to (and every reason to) ask her out.  Whether that sense is accurate or not is another story.  But the signs are usually there if one looks closely enough.

If hypo guy has no sense one way or another, then it comes down to:

b. Whether she is fungible (interchangeable) or replaceable.  If one has spent 25 yrs. searching for just the right haircut and she's the only one to give it, one must proceed with caution.  If she could readily be replaced tomorrow with a carbon copy who could do the same job, much less pressure. Ask away.  And lastly...

c.  Coolness/personality/temperament of the girl.  Many girls wouldn't be fazed by being asked out, even if they follow up by shooting the guy down.  There's less risk to asking these girls, because even if a 'no' answer follows, she'll still do her job as before.  But beware, hypothetical dude:  this can be tough to predict.

And as to determining availability, there are countless ways.  These range from grade school techniques (ask her co-workers; may be a good way to get a read on a potential answer) to roundabout/indirect (focus questions on that frequently referenced ex; proper questions can draw out her current status. Alternatively, tell her/make up/borrow a story about an ex, get the conversation going in that direction, steer it toward the present) to straightforward (simply ask her as a precursor to actually asking her out).  Select as necessary and appropriate for the particular situation.


Good luck to the hypothetical guy in your hypothetical scenario.

 

[Steve B.]

B:

Think like a salesman- the good ones get 25% of what they work on. The worst thing she can say is "No".

 

[Stu]

A good way, I always found, was to talk her up. Get around to the subject of food, find out what she likes, and in a few minutes, you will be at the point of inviting her over for dinner with you doing the cooking, and it won't even seem like you are hitting on her.
Women find the idea of a man who cooks well really charming.

 

[FRATERNITYSTUD]

Stu, you are 100% right. Read any guy magazine, any month, and they will tell you to cook for your girl. Get some alcohol in her, preferably a good wine, and let her provide the dessert.